Crush: nonimprinted love
by KamilleBlack
Summary: This is an Embry Love story. He falls in love with the girl of his dreams but things don't work out when the love of his life shows up. Crush is about heart break, imprinting, love and those tiny crushes.
1. Chapter 1

This is not a sequel but a story within a story— Silver Bullet . Amber and Embry started dating but Embry did not imprint on her. This story is about 2 teenagers who fall in love the old fashioned way. Those of you who've read Silver Bullet know how things will go with Embry and Amber. You don't have to read Silver Bullet to understand Crush. This story is about the love and loss of Embry and Amber. It will range between Amber and Embry's POV.

The story takes place about a year after Breaking Dawn, but it doesn't really matter because the Cullen's have a very small part in this story if they do show up.

So this is a love story with a foretold ending if you read _Silver_ _Bullet_, I'll try to give as much details that I can. This is my second fanfic.

**Chapter 1 : Hottie.**

**Embry's POV**

Seth recoiled even more into that ball he was curled into. He groaned in pain and I grimaced.

Seth had done something that all imprintees have gone through; the whole 'I'm a werewolf' thing with his imprint. They usually went okay. The werewolf would explain to his imprint the stories of our tribe if she didn't already know, then he would admit to imprinting on her and she would believe him.

That wasn't exactly how it worked out for Seth. His imprint wasn't aware of any of the stories of our tribe. She was a pretty logical person. She didn't believe in any of this stuff. Watching Seth explode into a wolf wasn't a very calm situation. She freaked out. She yelled and screamed and ran for her life. That must've sucked for him; having his imprint run away from him like that. Silver—Seth's imprint—hadn't called him in three days and now he's practically dying.

As if he was aware of my thinking of it, Seth groaned again.

If that was how imprinting felt like, I wanted nothing to do with it.

I grimaced. We were all grimacing. Jake, Quil and I were grimacing. I was sure that if one of us had the balls to touch Seth and check, he'd be grimacing as well. He was in physical pain probably. Being away from your imprint sucked.

Ugh, imprint. I shuddered and shrunk into the wall even more. I felt so useless here in Seth's room that was getting cramped since only Seth could sit on the bed.

Jacob took a deep breath and Quil and I both looked at him; hoping that, by some miracle, he knew how to fix this. He was the Alpha, he should fix this. Wasn't that his job, wasn't that one of his duties.

He opened his mouth as to say something then he shook his head. He had nothing.

I sighed.

As if there was anything he could say or do to make Seth feel better. Seth needed his Silver. Seth needed his imprint.

Ugh, Imprints. They were so inconvenient. Sure, they brought joy to a lot of werewolves. Sam, Jacob, Quil, Jared and Paul, yeah, they were happy now. But god forbid if anything happened that would hurt or separate them from their imprint, they wouldn't be able to function. When Sam had his little—well, not little—accident with Emily, it broke his heart, it still did.

When any of them were away from their imprint for too long, they were complete wrecks, useless to the world. I considered myself lucky for not imprinting. Seth was a perfect example for why I really didn't want to imprint.

A sob escaped his lips.

I scrunched up my face. It felt extremely invasive to be here. Maybe it was a guy thing, maybe it was just me, but I didn't like being here, watching Seth cry his heart out. Judging by Jake and Quil's expressions, I wasn't alone.

I wanted so badly to be out of there, so I wanted to bounce when I heard a faint knock at the front door.

Jacob, Quil and I all went for the door at the same time. Of course we got caught in the bedroom door frame. We all started grunting as we fought to get out first.

"I got it," Quil said.

"No, I got it." I insisted and tried harder to get out of the cramped space.

Jacob, who was wedge between the both of us, grunted, "You're both insane," he smashed both our faces in the wall, "I'm getting the door." He pushed us both into the room and practically ran up the steps.

We glowered at him. He had an unfair advantage, even though he would never use said advantage, it didn't change the fact that he had it.

"Hi Jacob," A female voice greeted after Jacob answered the door.

Seth's head snapped. He sprawled and scrambled out of the room, pushing Quil and I out of the way.

"Hi Silver," Jacob said.

"Silver?" Seth pleaded.

Silver had finally came back. She was a little late but at least she was back.

"Oh Seth!" Silver crooned.

The sound of kissing came shortly after that short exchange.

"And then there was one." I sighed and plopped onto Seth's bed.

"Don't worry, man. You'll find yours." Quil promised and sat down next to me.

"I sure hope so," I said with false enthusiasm, "That big scene with Seth sure was entertaining! Remember when he said he felt like he was dying? Gee, I hope I meet the person who makes me feel such pain!" I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He had to be kidding me.

Quil rolled his eyes as well, "But listen how happy they are now."

I listened.

"I want to see it." Silver was saying. I wasn't sure what she was talking about, "I want you, Seth. All of you. That's a part of you and you're a part of—" Silver cut herself short and Seth finished her sentence.

"I am a part of you as you are of me." He kissed her again.

A small smile was growing on Quil's face.

"What the hell?" A second female voice hollered.

What the hell? was right. Had everyone forgotten the pain Seth had been in? Is it all in the past already?

"Can I meet your sister?" Seth asked. Meeting the family; wasn't that just precious?

"Please?" Silver answered his question with a question.

And that was it. Seth and Silver were back together and they would be for years to come. I was happy for Seth; the last three days were very gruesome. Now that Silver's back, Seth would be himself but one million times happier. Since the storm had passed, I figured it was time for me to have some fun.

"Silver was hot right?" I asked Quil and got to my feet.

He shrugged, "I guess," That annoyed me. She was either hot or not. It was as if when a guy imprinted they became blind to all women.

"I bet five dollars her sister's smokin' hot." I left the room and headed for the front door.

"I'm not giving you a dime." Quil called from Seth's room.

"Amber, I'm gonna stick around here for a while. You can go home now." Silver told her sister.

I looked over Silver's shoulder to see a—score!—hot red head.

Amber shook her head and sounded nervous when she spoke, "Uh, Silver...I really don't..." she trailed off.

I took that as my opening.

"I'll keep her entertained." I grinned at Amber.

Amber and I locked eyes for a moment then hers went over my features. She seemed pleased.

"Hi Silver, I'm Embry." I nodded at her but didn't take my eyes off Amber. Silver and I had met before, I was just being polite. She might've not remembered meeting me. Silver was a small girl with blond hair and striking gray eyes. That was Seth's description of her. More accurately, Seth described her as the most beautiful woman to have ever been brought on this earth. He was love struck.

Amber was hot! She was Silver's height but a little slimmer than her. She had long bronze hair that curled and reached below her breasts. She was gorgeous, with an oval shaped head and big green eyes. They weren't buggy big, just very defined.

"Okay!" Amber accepted my offer eagerly.

I grinned even wider, "Have you seen the beach yet?"

Amber shook her head, "Haven't gotten to it."

"Want to go?" I suggested.

"Sure," she turned around and reached into the car to take her purse. I didn't understand why she needed it. I had said we were going to the beach. I would never fully comprehend women.

Amber and I started walking towards the beach. Amber was bouncing and jittery the whole time. It was quite amusing to watch. She was cute.

"You okay?" I asked her.

She looked at me with big eyes and nodded, "Mm hm. I'm just excited," she grinned, "I've never been to the beach before."

That surprised me. I practically grew up on this beach and here was a girl who's never even seen a beach before. "Someone's been living under a rock." I teased her.

"I'm from the city, we don't have beaches." She retorted playfully.

"Which city?" I asked, slightly interested.

"Montréal, Québec,"

It took me a second to remember that Québec was in Canada. Then it took me another second to remember their history. "The French part." I recalled.

"Oui!" she squeaked and her head whipped in the direction that the sound of waves. "Where here!" She crowed and skipped ahead.

It was night; the whole scenery was coated by a cloud of darkness. Of course it didn't affect me. I saw as if it were still light out. I also saw the gleam in Amber's eyes when she first saw the beach. Her face lit up like a child on Christmas morning.

I smiled. It was amazing how Amber could go from complete hottie to adorable sweetheart. It didn't take much to make her smile. It looked like that smile was on her face 24 hours a day. It would've been a real shame to find such a hot, simple girl that I didn't imprint on and screw things up with her.

**Chapter 2: led on.**

Amber laughed after staring at me blankly for a few seconds. She was kind of slow. She clearly wasn't stupid, it just took her a few moments to understand some of my jokes.

"Come on," Amber tugged on my hand and we starting walking on the beach.

"So, is Forks to your liking?" I asked her. I didn't really care but I did promise t entertain her. And if I knew one thing about girls, it was that they loved to talk about themselves. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to contribute too much to the conversation. I was prepared for very uninteresting girl babble.

"Hate it. Hate everything about it." She answered without hesitation. "I hate the way it looks, I hate the way it smells, I hate this place!"

I sighed internally. She was a complainer. I hoped that she wouldn't whine too much but I didn't give myself any expectations. I regretted asking her the million dollar question.

"This town is lucky I don't know how to use matches or I would've burned this place to the ground."

Her threat caught me by surprised and I grinned. I didn't know she was capable of such dark humour. That was incredibly sadistic. Burning cities to the ground was kind of crazy. Amber didn't notice my staring at her, she was busy kicking the sand.

When Amber saw my shocked expression, she nudged me.

I pretended to stumble and she laughed.

"I can make jokes, too." She claimed.

"Yeah," I said, "Nothing tickles my funny bone more than towns being burned to ashes." I laughed and shook my head at the silly girl, "How old are you, Amber."

"18," she answered.

I looked at her up and down then nodded. It made sense. She had the features of a young adult definitely. She had the slight shape but she was thin and had small breast. The vest she was wearing wasn't complimenting to her chest. I didn't want to sound like a jerk but unlike the guys who had imprinted, I wasn't blind. And any man with eyes could see that Silver was clearly more gifted then her older sister. Not that I ever looked at Silver in that sense...I just wasn't blind to it.

"What are you? 25?" Amber guessed.

I chuckled, "20, close enough."

"Shouldn't you be in college or something?"

"I'm working on it," I told her. It was nearly impossible to find a part time job here, in a small town. I didn't want to finish college with a whole lot of debt. I didn't even know what I wanted to do. I knew what I wanted—money—but I didn't want to do something boring that made money. I was probably asking for too much, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked nonchalantly. I didn't want to be her boyfriend, but I was enjoying the flirting and I didn't mind feeling how her lips felt. I bet that they were soft.

"We broke up. Well, I broke up with him." She clarified.

"Heartbreaker?" I implied.

She shook her head, "Keegan deserved a real girlfriend. I don't believe in long distance relationships." She shrugged, "I'm sure he's fine."

"Didn't you like him?" I asked in curiosity. I wondered how she could just talk about breaking up her boyfriend as if it were nothing.

"Sure." She shrugged, "I liked him but he let himself fall. We're teens; he shouldn't have let himself fall for me like that. It was reckless."

"That's a little heartless." I commented.

Amber frowned, "I'm not heartless, I'm realistic. I set up low standards so in the end; I don't get disappointed."

"That's kind of sad."

"I think it's smart. I can honestly say that I've never had a broken heart." She confessed with pride, "How many 18 year old girls can say the same thing?"

I pursed my lips, "Not much I guess..." I admitted but still thought Amber's strategy was depressing. If someone never let themselves fall, how would they know if someone will catch them? I had never had a broken heart—well, a real broken heart—either but it wasn't cause I never let myself fall, I just never found a girl who was worth the while.

We fly high, no lie, you know it. Bawlin'! What I presumed was Amber's cell phone rang.

I grimaced, "That song in so old!" I said.

"Shut up!" Amber giggled and took her phone out of her purse, "Holla mami!" she answered the call.

"I'm not mad, now." The person on the phone said, "But I will be if you guys aren't home in the next 45 minutes." The female voice sounded angry. The shocked expression on Amber's face led me to believe that it was her mother on the line.

"It's not even me!" Amber whined, "It's Silver, she ditched me!"

"I don't care who it was. I'm not angry yet. Don't make me angry,"

"So dramatic," Amber mumbled.

"What's that?" her mother asked.

"Nothing. I'll call Silver."

"Do that."

Amber was fuming when she hung up the phone, "I hate it when she talks down to me like that!" she huffed in frustration and started dialling a number.

"What? Amber, what?!" the person on the phone hissed. I recognized Silver's voice.

Amber pulled the phone away from her ear in astonishment. She clearly felt disrespected for no apparent reason. "Excuse me? I'm at the car douche bag!" she lied, "It's 11 o'clock, and unlike you, I cherish me life." She sneered.

"Okay, I'm coming!" Silver barked.

"Hurry up you cow!" she closed her phone and I stared at her in shock.

"You liar, were not at the car."

She grinned mischievously, "Last one there's a rotten egg!" she shouted before running in the direction we came in.

Amber and I raced. I won, of course, but I led her to believe that she had a chance. She was a fast runner, for a human.

When we got to the car, Silver and Seth weren't there.

Amber pressed her back against the red Chrysler 300C that was Silver's car. The car looked like it drove like a dream which is the only place I would ever drive a car like this, in a dream.

Amber panted heavily and her heart hammered in her chest.

I was barely winded and I didn't hide that fact, "I win," I said, "What's my prize."

"You get to watch me spend the rest of my life as a rotten egg." She replied in between gasps.

"Meh," I shrugged, "I'll settle for a kiss." I grinned.

Amber laughed as much as she could, "No," was her response.

I frowned at her plain and simple no.

She continued laughing. She clearly didn't see my expression, "I swear, Embry, your hilarious." She handed me her cell phone, "Give me your number. I'll call you."

I was still pouting when I put my cell phone number in her phone. She gave me hers but I doubted I was going to call her. Maybe if I was really bored or something. Her rejection wasn't appreciated on my part.

Thankfully, Silver and Seth came at that moment. I composed my face to make it seem that I wasn't upset at all. That wasn't hard, I wasn't upset, just surprised by the rejection. She acted like she liked me. That made her a tease, something I didn't want or need in my life.

"Bye Embry!" Amber said in a sweet voice—a very flirtatious voice I might add. She was so hot! Of course she rejected me, she was a class 'A' hottie.

Seth said his I love yous to Silver and I pasted a fake smile on my face as I watched the car drive off.

"Good reddens," I mumbled.

**Chapter 3: Late.**

**Amber's POV.**

I lay in my bed, staring at my poster of Ashton Kutcher. I was now legal; 18 years and 2 days. Ashton and I should definitely have gotten together. I wished that he would just kick my door down and take me out of this crap hole of a rainy town called Forks. That was such a stupid name to call a town. I heard noises and knew Silver was up. She was walking around and making a lot of noise.

My door was opened and a fully dressed Silver stepped in with a huge smile on her face. I envied it—that smile—I wanted to be happy like she was. Jealousy wasn't something Silver and I felt towards one other. We didn't get jealous of each other but got happy for each other. I was happy Silver was happy, even though it was a man that was making her happy, at least she was joyful. It did upset me how dependent Silver was getting with Seth after only a few days of dating him. Young people were so stupid when they were in love. I dreaded the that Silver's heart would be broken by Seth's dumping her or by her being forced to dump him so that he wouldn't dump her.

"Seth and I are off to a restaurant for lunch. You want to come?" she offered.

My stomach growled and I sat up, "Sure," I shrugged, "I'm starving." I got off my bed onto the carpeted floor and stretched.

"You know who you should invite? Embry. That would be fun." Silver suggested.

I frowned at her, "Like a double date?" I questioned. Silver and I had a little talk three days ago—the day I met Embry—about Embry and Seth and stuff. Silver claimed she was truly in love with Seth. She had asked me if I were interested in Embry and I told her the truth; no. Embry wasn't really my type of boyfriend material. Sure, he was hot and I liked him but that was it. I loved hanging out with him but I didn't want or need a boyfriend at this point in life, my senior year in high school. I wanted to concentrate of my grades so I could get in a college with a good psychologist program.

I wanted to have Embry as a friend. I desperately wanted a friend. Embry clearly wanted more than that and I felt like a tease for hanging out with him. That was why I hadn't called him after exchanging numbers. I made a difficult decision though, if Embry tried to kiss me, I wasn't going to push him away. He was hot and nice, if he wanted to be my boyfriend; I wasn't going to turn him down. I just wanted a friend and if Embry asked me out and I turned him down, he was going to hate me. If he busted a move, he would be my summer fling.

"No," Silver shook her head and tried to think of a different way to say it. It was a double date, she couldn't deny it. "More like a gathering of friends. Seth and I are friends first so we'll be a little gang of brothers and sisters. It'll be fun!" She squeaked and her blond hair bounced with the rest of her body.

"Who's paying?" I asked.

Silver pouted, "Pay for your own God damn self! Get dressed, man. You need to go out more. And call Embry, it'll be innocent fun."

I sighed, "I'm on it."

Silver handed me the house phone, "Chill," She skipped out of my room and I went to my purse to get my cell phone. I looked for Embry's number and composed it on the telephone. I held the phone to my ear and went to my chestnut Chester drawer to look for a decent outfit.

"Hello?" a husky voice answered.

"Uh, hi,"

"Who's this?"

"It's Amber."

"Oh!" he seemed surprised to know it was me, "Hi...Amber. What's up?"

"Nothing. Well not nothing, I was just wondering if you were doing something today." I was kind of shy. I wasn't normally a shy person but I hadn't spoken to Embry in days then all of a sudden I was calling him, it was a little weird. If I were Embry, I would've wondered what was up.

There was a short silence, "No, I don't actually."

"Okay," I picked out some dark jean and pink tank top. I had forgotten why I called. I had even forgotten that I was on the phone in the first place.

"Did you call for something in specific?" Embry pressed.

"Oh! Yeah, uh, Silver and Seth are going out for breakfast and invited me. I figured I should invite you so it would be an even number."

"You're asking me out?" he asked incredulously.

"No, I'm asking you to chill. It's like a chilling." I explained. I didn't know if the people in Forks knew the expression 'chilling'. I should have used another word, like hang out.

"A chilling?" He repeated.

I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if it was a question or if he was just repeating things.

"Do you want me to come?" he asked.

"I do actually. I really would like it if you came." I admitted.

There was a very short silence, "I'll be there then. I'll call Seth and figure everything out."

I smiled, "Thanks Embry. See ya."

"Later," he hung up.

I was grinning to myself. I had just made a friend, something I took a lot of pride in—my social skills. I got dressed and put on my makeup. Unlike Silver, I wore make-up on a regular basis. Silver had this weird thing, it was called natural beauty. I was pretty too, but I was so used to wearing makeup that I felt naked leaving the house without it. I looked at myself in the mirror to admire my outfit. These skinny jeans clung perfectly to me shape. Gosh, I was pretty! Silver would call me narcissistic; I just said that I had high self esteem, which was important. It wasn't what people thought of me that mattered but what I thought of myself. Other people's opinions were nice too, though.

I left my room and went up the stairs into the dining room. In the living room, on the sofa, Silver was watching T.V. I turned into the kitchen and opened the large pantry. I scanned the food to look for something to snack on.

"Don't eat, Amber, we're leaving in like now." Silver warned.

I ignored her and grabbed the last Twinkie from the box. I ripped open the pack and ate half of it in one bite, "Okay, let's go," I said with my mouth full.

"You're gross," Silver was shaking her head at me at the front door, "That's you're breakfast, man."

I grinned, "Sorry," I wiped the cream from the side of my face with the back of my hand.

Silver grimaced, "So gross," she breathed.

Silver and I went to her car after calling mom and headed off to Port Angeles to find the restaurant with, quote 'the freshest fruits ever'. Silver said it was where she and Seth had their first date. I tried not to grimace and convinced myself it was cute and sweet. But honestly, I was still bothered by how serious things were getting. She was so young—one year younger than me but still, she was my little sister.

We got to the restaurant and Seth was already sitting at a booth waiting for us.

Silver waved excitedly at Seth, who's face shone when he saw Silver.

"We're with him," Silver told the waitress at the front and skipped over to Seth.

He got up and opened his arms that Silver ran into. He hugged her to tight and I couldn't help but smile a little. They were cute together.

"I missed you." Seth murmured to her.

I humourlessly rolled my eyes. It had only been a few hours since their last encounter. They were being corny. I guess love made you irrational and stupid. I had never seen love before and I was starting to have a feeling that I would be witnessing it in the works.

He pulled himself away from my sister and smiled at me, "Hey, Amber," he hugged me and I grimaced. I didn't like to be touched by new people. Seth was huge. Being held by him was very awkward and uncomfortable. The thought of Silver being crushed by him crossed my mind for a split nanosecond. My little sister didn't do that kind of stuff. She was my sweet, innocent, little sister.

"Thank you, Seth," I patted his back signalling for him to back the hell off, "Um...where's Embry?" I asked after sitting in the booth. Silver sat next to me and Seth faced her.

"He should be on his way." He smiled at me, "How are you, Amber?" Seth asked. The enlightened look on his face made me shrink a bit. He was so smiley. After looking at the soft face in such a happy expression, I smiled as well. I couldn't help it; he was passing it on to me.

"I'm good, thank you."

"And you, Silver? Did you sleep well?" he turned to gaze at my sister. The look in his eye was indescribable. He looked at Silver as if she were the most beautiful thing in the world. I've never seen so much admiration in someone's eyes before. I saw then that maybe Seth was a good guy. Maybe getting into Silver's pants wasn't his first priority. Maybe he really did think he was in love.

I rolled my eyes. Only a child could fall so fast.

"I slept well." Silver answered, "I actually dreamt about you." She added shyly.

Seth grinned, "Funny, me too."

Silver giggled, "It was a really nice dream."

"Yeah—"

"When did you say Embry was coming?" I cut him off. I hated stupid baby, lovey-dovey talk. It was beyond annoying. Even when I was in a relationship I never spoke like that. Keegan was a bit clingy and tried the sweet talk but his attempts were half-hearted. I really wanted another single person here to talk to. That person used to be my sister, but obviously that ship has sailed.

Seth looked at his watch, "He seems to be running late."

"Well, I'm starving. Waiter!" I raised my hand when I saw a dark haired women walking past me, "Can we have menus?"

"Of course," she nodded and went on her way.

We had all ordered our food and were waiting for about 15 minutes before Embry walked into the restaurant. I got up frowning. I had to endure Silver and Seth's annoying couple jabbering for too long.

Embry grinned sheepishly, "Sorry,"

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."

"You're mad?" he cocked his head to the side.

"Annoyed. I don't like waiting." I corrected him and sat back down.

Seth got up so that Embry would be sitting in front of me.

"I'll make it up to you." Embry promised.

"Buying me breakfast?" I suggested.

"No,"

I frowned and crossed my arms in front of my chest. He was impeccable.

**Chapter 4:**

Embry POV's.

Amber seemed a bit cheesed about my being late and I tried to retain the smirk that was growing on my face. I guessed she really was into me; she just didn't want to seem too easy that first day. When she called me today, I was in utter shock. I really hadn't expected her phone call. Then when the supper hottie said that she wanted me to come, that really made my day.

Everybody at the table got their food before me. It was my fault for arriving late—I had to beg my mom for the car this morning—but I couldn't help but stare enviously at Seth's steak. I ordered the same thing but I was sure that it would be long before I got it.

Amber sighed and stretched out her hand towards me, in it was a small triangle of chicken club sandwich. She was offering me some of her own food.

I smiled at her generosity. This girl had a lot of plus sides. She was supper hot yet she still found the time to be generous. "Thanks," I smiled and took the sandwich. I ate the small piece in one bite.

Silver and Seth were talking in some stupid lovey-dovey language and I felt as though I could throw up from the corniness.

Amber rolled her eyes, seeming annoyed and mouthed the words Oh, my God to herself.

I grinned. She didn't like it either, "They're gay aren't they?" I said to her as if we were alone.

Amber eyes widened and she glanced at her sister who was hypnotized by Seth's gaze. Imprints did that to girls. Amber grinned, "So gay, I mean seriously, just because you're in a couple it doesn't mean you have to be like that." She jerked her thumb at Silver and Seth.

I chuckled, "Enough to make your stomach turn."

"We're too cool to be seen with these twerps."

"Oh, yeah, we're older then theses gaybos."

"Hey!" Silver whined, "We're not gay." She was really frowning and I bit my lip to keep from laughing in her face. Silver was a tiny little thing with a cute round head and puckered pink lips. She was the least scary person I had ever seen. If she was trying to intimidate me, she was far from it. "We didn't invite you to this meal so we could be insulted, right Seth?" She turned to him expectantly.

"Oh!" Seth was still is awe by his imprint, he hadn't realised she was complaining, "Uh, yeah...mind your manners and be...nice?" he grinned sheepishly at Silver.

"He called us gay." She explained.

"Hey!" Seth objected, "Seriously, Embry, you suck."

I laughed louder and Amber giggled till her face got red.

Seth tried to keep his angry facade but I saw his lip twitch at the obvious chemistry between me and Amber, "Maybe you too should leave if you can't be nice." He tried to sound firm but we both knew he was trying to do me a favour.

"Fine with me," Amber got up and threw ten dollars on the table, "That should cover it," She took all the sandwiches she could and bumped Silver out of the way.

Seth got up willingly, "I'll enjoy your steak,"

I glared at him.

Seth grinned smugly and went back to his pouting imprint, "Don't be upset, Silli,"

"I work very hard to not be corny..."

Amber hooked her arm in mine and hauled me out of the restaurant, "Do you have a car?"

"No, I took the bus," I joked.

"Oh, that's why you were late."

"No, Amber, I have a car."

She frowned, "Why did you say you didn't?"

"It was a joke."

"It's a stupid joke," she muttered under her breath.

I smiled for the tiniest reason. The fact that it didn't bother Amber at all that I took the bus. By the looks of Silver's car, it seemed like they weren't really the kind of girls to takes buses. Was Amber really willing to take a bus for me?

Parked in the parking lot of the restaurant was my mom's ancient, blue Toyota. I used the key to open the driver's side and took my seat. I reached over to the passenger side and unlocked the door. At that moment, I thought Amber was the hottest girl who had ever been in this car. That most likely wasn't true, I had had hotter girls in this car, I had had looser girls in this car and I had done hotter things with those loose girls in this car. If this car could talk, I would've been grounded for a week.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked her.

"Hm...I don't know...I'm still hungry." She took a bite out of one of the sandwiches, "We can go to the drug store and buy some candy."

I grinned, "Sure," we drove off to the drug store. Amber and I spoke about non-sequential things at first. Then we got to hotter topics, like our future.

"I don't want kids," Amber said in a sure voice. Her face was serious.

"What do you mean you don't want kids?" I parked the car in front of the drug store.

"I don't want kids." She repeated, "I don't like babies and it'll just mess up my shape. I plan on adopting a Chinese baby—a two year old or something."

"How do you parents feel about that?" I asked opening the door to the store for her.

"My mom thinks it's a beautiful thing to do; adopting a child."

"And your dad?" I pressed.

Amber headed for the candy aisle and starting scanning for a specific candy bar, "I don't have a dad."

My eyes that were just checking out her ass—it was a nice ass—went right up to the back of her head, "You don't have a dad?" I asked in shock. I wanted to know what she meant. All the other questions I asked were just for entertainment issues, this time I really wanted to know.

"No, I don't, it's a long story, I don't like getting into it."

"Oh." I was disappointed. I wanted to hear if somebody's family issues were more messed up then my own. That would've been a nice change.

"What?" Amber turned to glare at me, "I don't have a father, so what? I hate people who think that just because I don't have a dad that I have issues or problems. A woman can raise two children by herself and have them turn out better then okay. Someday, I'm going to be a famous psychologist and all the people who ever doubted my mother will see. They'll all see."

"No, Amber, it's just that...I don't have a dad either, I didn't me to offend you or..."

"You don't have a dad?" Amber asked in worry. That confused me. She didn't have a father either yet she felt bad for me not having one. She noticed my odd gaze, "A boy needs his dad." She shrugged and started scanning again, "There you go, some chocolate." She picked out a king sized pack of Reese, some Sprite and lot of other candies like Maltesers and Maynards and paid at the cash register.

Oddly, we ended up at a park. Amber sat on the swings and pushed her feet in and out in attempt to swing higher. I decide to help her out.

Amber and I played at the park like two kids. We played sandman and raced up the giant spider web. Amber was probably the strangest girl I've ever met. Under the hot girl exterior was a small child at play. Not to mention she might have daddy issues—Jackpot! I hoped that within that child at play was a frisky sex kitten.

"Oh, shoot, it's six o'clock." Amber said after checking her phone for the time.

"Yeah, so?"

She smiled sheepishly, "My mom's done with work and I'm kind of her best friend at the time so...I got to see her. She'll get lonely."

"Oh, I understand." I got up off the bench and we walked to the car. The whole drive to Amber house was partially nerve wrecking. I had to ask her out. If not, I was a wuss. I admitted to myself that I liked her. She was hot, only an idiot wouldn't try something. I stopped at the curve of her house and turned to look at Amber.

"Thanks Embry, bye," She was about to open the door.

"Amber wait," I stopped her.

She looked at me with her big eyes. Her pink lips pulled into a big smile, "Yeah?"

"We should see each other again." I suggested.

"Oh, of course Embry, call me tomorrow, we'll do something."

"I mean...really do something." I felt my face get hot and I hopped that my skin was dark enough that she wouldn't be able to see me blush for the first time in centuries, "Like a date, you know; dinner movies, stuff like that."

"Sure, Embry, I'll straighten my hair for the event." She winked and blew me kiss before heading off to her bungalow.

I had just scored a hot date with a hot girl, "Yes!" I said, "Alright!" I was grinning. Amber was so hot, and she wanted me. I was on fire!

**Chapter 5: first date.**

**Amber's POV**.

I straightened every single one of my bronze hairs and applied my tanned and gold eye shadow. In my opinion, I looked slammin'! Embry and I were going to see a movie, nothing too fancy—just a romantic comedy. I was probably paying for myself, it wasn't much of a date in my opinion, I didn't even know why I was getting all dressed up anyways. I told myself that going out on a non-date with I guy I wasn't interested in was better than staying in. Even thought the guy thought it was a real date and that I was into him. Sigh.

I sighed to myself and pulled my Blackberry out of my pocket and found Embry's number. I tapped my foot impassionedly as it rang once...twice...

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey! I'm ready!" I made my voice sound more enthused than I really was.

"Oh, Amber. Yeah, I'm in the car so I'll be there in a few..."

"Cool, see ya then." I hung up and went up went up stairs. I considered bringing along my laptop but Embry said he would be here in a few so I didn't. I decided to call my nerdy little sister.

"Hey Amber!" She answered on the first ring.

"Hi Silver, what's up?"

"Oh, you know, I'm with Seth...doing some stuff..." she let herself trail off. "Is Embry there yet?"

"No, not yet, he's on his way." I didn't ask myself what my virginal sister was doing. She was probably just playing chess with her beau. I doubted it was anything that was rated R. She was such a nun sometimes but I liked that. I didn't want guys feeling up my baby sister. I was a virgin too but I wasn't a nun like Silver, I was the bad sister apparently.

"Cute! Oh, hey, Seth wants to talk to you..."

My eyes widened and I smiled a bit. I thought it was so cute that Silver's little boyfriend had something to say to me, "Alright," I approved.

"Hey Amber," Seth's deep voice said, "I just wanted to tell you that Embry is a really good guy and you should give him a chance." Seth informed me in a cheerful voice.

"That's what the date is for." I pointed out.

"Oh! Yeah, I guess you're right."

I heard Silver laugh in the background and she was still laughing when she had the phone, "Isn't he the cutest!"

There was a knock at the door and I knew it was Embry. I sighed. I hated calling this a date. I just wanted Embry to be my friend and it annoyed me that I had to make this facade just so I would have someone to hang out with.

"Yeah, just adorable," I agreed with Silver, "Hey, Embry's here so I'm saying bye."

"Have fun!" she chirped before I hung up and walked to the door.

I took a deep breath and opened the door with a huge smile on my face, "Hi! What's up?"

Embry grinned, showing off perfect sparkling white teeth, "Hey Amber, nothing," he shrugged.

I smiled. I might not have been interested in him but he was a major hottie. I was lucky to have this guy being interested in me. I had to remember that.

I slipped into my jacket and we walked down to his car. We drove to Port-Angeles and Embry kept me entertained throughout the whole drive there. He told me about his friends and the things that went down at La Push and I told him about my old friends and the things that went on in Montreal. He asked me to speak to him in French and his face scrunched up when I babbled in the foreign language. Embry just kept reminding me how good of a guy he was and I started to really not mind the "date". If he made a move to kiss me, I would definitely not turn away; that would be the dumbest thing I could do. Losing Embry after having him would really suck.

To my surprise, he did pay for the movie tickets. We watched a romantic comedy. I was way too much of a baby to sit through a horror film and I didn't want Embry to see me crying during a love movie. I was most unattractive when I cried.

The theatre was practically empty when we went to find a seat. There were only about 15 people in the room. Embry and I sat in the middle where it was mostly isolated.

"Hey," Embry whispered during the previews, "Are you hungry?"

I looked at him through the darkness, "Oh, theatre food is way overpriced. Don't worry." I assured him.

"Chips?" he guessed and pulled a big bag of Lays barbecuechips from under his shirt.

My jaw dropped, "Oh my god! You're so ghetto." I laughed and took the chips from him. I didn't understand how I hadn't noticed his bump.

"Something to drink?" he suggested.

I giggled. I was curious as to what else he was hiding. I nodded eagerly and his grin widened.

"I have Root Beer." He pulled a medium sized bottle of brown pop out of his pants. I grimaced and he proceeded by picking up his blue JanSport bag that I hadn't realised he brought and pulled a two litter bottle of 7up out.

"Awesome!" I said and took the bottle from him, "Do we have cups?" I asked.

He shook his hand, "Sorry, I forgot,"

"It's okay," I opened the bottle and looked around guiltily when it made a spritz sound. I giggled and drank directly from the bottle. I laughed when the carbonated drink filled my mouth giving me a tingling feeling. Embry was even funnier than I thought. I was excited to see where the rest of the evening was heading. I handed him the bottle and he took a gulp of it as well. "Do you have ribs?" I joked.

"No," he answered, "But I have hot wings."

"You're joking right?"

"KFC has boneless wing now. Best thing ever." He pulled a to-go box from Kentucky Fried Chicken and opened it. The barbecue sauce glazed chicken scent made my mouth water.

"That'll be messy." I commented.

"Don't worry, I brought napkins." He started digging in his bag.

I laughed loudly and covered my mouth when my real laugh escaped my lips. Girls like me had to have two laughs: the real one they use in front of their friends and family and a fake one they used in front of hot guys and men in general. Horrible laughter kind of ran in my family—well, me and my mom—and I didn't need guys knowing about my horrible hyena laugh. Embry didn't seem to notice. I bit my lip to stifle my hysterical giggles.

The movie started and Embry and I shared the hot wings. They were absolutely delicious. KFC in the states tasted much better than KFC in Montreal. The chicken there was basically fat with a little meat on it.

The movie was okay but Embry was the one who kept me laughing throughout the entire thing. My real laugh kept slipping up and I actually blushed from the embarrassment. I hated the feeling of my face being on fire like it was when I blushed. It took a lot for me to blush and Embry had succeeded. He didn't notice since the lights were off but he should have been proud.

When the movie ended, Embry and I decided to take a stroll down Port Angeles. It wasn't raining but it was still freezing cold which pissed me off because we were in July. An uncontrollable shudder went down my spine

"Woh, you're really cold, aren't you?"

"Yeah, can we go somewhere warm?"

"Sure, we'll go to Dunkin Donuts; I'll buy you a drink."

I nodded and shivered again.

"Here," Embry stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and took off his jacket. He was only wearing a vest but I doubted it was thick enough to keep him warm.

"Embry, you'll get sick. I'll endure it."

"Don't be ridiculous," he wrapped his big jacket around me and I shivered at its warmth. He grinned, "There,"

I took my hands out of my pocket and put them through the arms of his too big jacket, "Perfect gentlemen." I said and took his hand while we walked to the Dunkin Donuts. His hand was very warm and it was pleasant to hold it during this cold whether.

I still wasn't interested in having a boyfriend but I knew that it was only polite for me to flirt back if he was going to be this nice. He was a good guy and I felt as though he'd be a great friend. If flirting was what I had to do to keep a good friend, I would gladly pay the price.

He opened the door for me at the Dunkin Donuts and I ordered a hot chocolate and he ordered a coffee.

"Thanks," I said when we sat down next to the window.

"No problem, Amber." He smiled and took a sip from his steaming coffee.

"I had a lot of fun." I told him.

"I could tell; you have a nice laugh."

My face went serious and I felt the burning come back to my cheeks, "Oh God, I hoped you didn't notice." I looked down at my hot coco that was in a mug. I took a black straw and started stirring my drink waiting for my face to cool off.

"It's hard not to notice; you laugh like some kind of happy monkey." He laughed.

My laugh was nervous, "It has been compared to a Hyena." I mumbled.

"That's the animal I was looking for." He bursted into a loud guffaw and my cheeks refused to go back to its normal colour.

I wasn't angry at Embry for pointing it out. I knew I laughed like a retard of some sort. I was mad at myself for letting myself slip repetitively. I had this coming.

"God damn it. You're making me blush." I muttered.

"You're cute when you blush."

"I don't think so."

"Ha." Embry continued sipping at his coffee and we spoke of other stuff when my face finally de-blushed. When we were finished chatting it up, it was dark out and raining.

Embry insisted that I kept his jacket while we walked to his car. We had the same taste in music so we put the radio on an awesome radio station that played hip-hop and rap. I kept my inexplicable love for the Jonas Brothers to myself. Those weren't beans you spilled on the first date. I hated to admit it but this had been a date. I good date—maybe even a great date.

My mom's car was in the driveway and so was Silver's. Embry just parked his car at the curb and walked me to the beginning of the staircase at my house.

"Thanks Embry, I had a great time." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to give him a hug and Embry attempted to kiss me on the cheek. Thinking this was incredibly juvenile; I turned my face and pressed my lips against his really quick. It was hardly a kiss. I smiled at him and went up the stairs.

"Wait, my jacket," Embry said when I touched my door knob and he'd walked half way to his car.

"Oh! Oops, sorry." I unzipped his jacket as I walked down the steps and towards him. I gave him his jacket and for a strange reason, reached around his shoulders to hug him again.

Embry hugged me back and when I pulled away, he lowered his lips to mine again. Shrugging mentally, I let his lips touch mine. Surprising me, his mouth opened and he made-out with me head on. My eyes widened when I felt his tongue in my mouth, but like I had told myself several times today. I wouldn't push him away. I kissed him back and Embry tangled his fingers in my hair. He was obviously more into the kiss than I was. Not that he was a bad kisser, he was okay. Nice.

The kiss only lasted about ten seconds and Embry let me go.

I smiled at him and went back towards my house, "Text me!" I called.

"Of course." He grinned.

I went into my house and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled "Bernadette Peters" out of my pocket. I had a really weird crush on Bernadette Peters the actress. Well, I didn't think it was weird, Bernadette Peters was amazing. She was so talented and beautiful with her bright red hair and the most beautiful voice. She was so hot for an old woman. Of course I had a crush on her. Silver thought it was weird when I named my Blackberry Bernadette Peters but I thought it fit my lime green Blackberry Curve well. A beautiful name for the best cell phone ever.

I had received a text message from Embry Call. I checked my inbox messages and smiled.

I guess that means we're going out. read Embry's text.

I was satisfied with my accomplishment of the day. I had found the perfect distraction for the summer. Like Silver had said; he was tall, dark and handsome.

**Chapter 6: A couple.**

**Amber's POV**

Embry and I walked down the street on our way to the local video store in Forks. We wanted to rent a few DVD's so we could watch them together and make fun of the actors. We'd been going out for almost two weeks. I wasn't really counting. That was definitely a good sign. I used to watch the numbers change on the digital clock but now, time just past me by. Because of Embry. I guess you could say he was my boyfriend. We hadn't gone exclusive yet.

I had met his friend Quil and Jacob, a major hottie, and spent the day with them a few times, but boyfriend-girlfriend was way too serious.

We did hold hands as we walked through the drizzling rain. I barely felt the rain anymore. I'd gotten used to it. That wasn't a good sign; I had to get out of here! Immaturely, we played truth or dare and it was my turn.

"Um...truth." I said nodding.

Embry grinned, "From a scale of one to ten; how hot am I?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Do I have to say the truth?"

Embry held the door open for me at the store and I walked in, "That's why it's called truth."

"In that case...I'd say you're an 8." I turned to watch his expression which consisted of a deep playful frown.

"8? That's bull."

"You think very highly of yourself, don't you?" I guessed grinning. I walked backwards into the store. My bronze hair was hidden under a warm beanie. What was to be seen was two pig tails. I looked like a My Scene doll.

"Am I wrong to?" he took slow, seductive steps towards me and I grinned. He was such a boy. All he ever wanted to do was make-out. He was such a dork and oddly, I was starting to really like him. Not like like him, but he was a kisser...and a good guy too. A great guy.

"I don't know. You seem kind of...pompous." I grimaced at the use of a word I didn't know. I had heard Silver saying it the other day. I hoped it applied to this conversation and walked around and passed Embry to the aisle of movies.

"Pompous? Do you even know what that means?" he followed behind me.

I started scanning the old movies that were made when I was a kid. Parent trap, Master of disguise, It takes two... "I don't know, doesn't it mean to be bloated? Like chubby?" I turned hoping Embry would tell me what the word meant. I didn't feel embarrassed whether my question was stupid or not. A wise teacher once told me that it was better to sound stupid while asking a question with an obvious answer than living the rest of your life not knowing the answer to an obvious question.

He was grinning at my expression which didn't falter from its curios glare. I wanted to know what pompous meant. Embry eyes widened and his grinned faded.

"Oh! You were serious!" he hugged me, "Oh, Amber, no, that's not what it means." He crooned, humorously acting worried, "Go to hell for calling me fat." He said in the same playful tone.

I laughed nervously.

We rented the movies and headed off to my house that would be empty till 9 or whenever Silver decided she wanted to come home. It wasn't Embry's first time at my little bungalow. He'd met my mother in a very non boyfriend-girlfriend kind of way.

Embry plopped onto one of our two sofa and I put the movie A walk to remember in the DVD player. I watched the movie a long time ago when I was twelve and cried my but off—one of those nasty shoulder heaving, snot in my nose sobbing. It was a guilty pleasure of mine to sit through movies that made me cry and Embry claimed to never have seen it. That fact was blasphemy (Silver taught me that word)! How did he not see this movie?

I sat next to Embry on the sofa and he pulled me into his chest. His body heat was so high I felt as though I would start sweating, I didn't like the closeness, it was uncomfortable.

"Want popcorn?" I offered when I had gotten way to hot. I didn't want to start sweating at all. As much as I didn't want Embry to think of me as his girlfriend, I didn't want him to see me all pink and sweating. Most unattractive.

"Oh, sure thanks," he let me go and I scampered to the kitchen to put the sac of popcorn in the microwave. I stood three feet away from the microwave as it heated up our popcorn. I heard in science class that it was dangerous to stand too close to microwaves because they vibrated particles or something like that. I didn't want my intestines exploding.

I heard Embry gasp but ignored it. I poured our popcorn in a large bowl and walked to the living room to see Embry sitting on his knees a few inches from the T.V.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Jamie has cancer." He groaned, "It's bad, Am, I don't think she's gonna....No!" he refused, "She's going to be fine." He nodded to himself and sat back more comfortably on the couch.

"Am?" I raised an eyebrow. Was that supposed to be me? I wasn't really used to nicknames. Silver—my own sister—called me Amber if she wasn't calling me douche bag or some other demeaning name. And my mom called me Barbie half the time. Am? That was new. I kind of liked it. That didn't distract me from the fact that I had a grown man obsessing over a movie like it was his favourite soap opera. It was comical.

I went to the other sofa and sat there instead. Embry squirmed a lot during the movie getting more and more worried for the main characters. I had been paying more attention to the film than I was to the Quileute boy in my living room and I couldn't fight back my tears when Jamie died. I wiped away my tears discreetly. I didn't need Embry laughing at me, I was already emotional. I didn't know why I kept torturing myself with these movies.

Embry sniffled and I turned to look at him. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and blinked hard. His eyes were red and his cheeks were flushed. He was crying too. "No," he whimpered, "She was so—they were in—no." He begged and more tears ran down his face.

I was shocked at first. I'd never seen a grown man cry before. It was weird. Embry was so big and had huge bulging, slender muscles. He wasn't a kid and here he was, crying at the end of a movie that had made me cry when I was young and still touched my heart all these years later.

"Hey," I said getting up and sitting next to Embry, "It's okay. It's just a movie." I soothed him.

"A freaking sad movie," he sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, "God, I'm such a wimp."

"I cried too."

"You're a girl, you're supposed to cry. That's why they're called chick flicks."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. It was salty with his tears and warm like his entire body was. Something must've changed at that moment because Embry wasn't just a friend anymore. I didn't want him to just me my friend. After two weeks of hanging out with him, I had fallen in like. "I like you Embry." I murmured.

"I feel really gay right now."

I turned his face toward me and pressed my lips against his; kissing him the way I wanted to. I wanted the kiss to be short, sweet, a first kiss if you will and it did feel like a first kiss because I wanted this kiss. I wasn't kissing him so he'd hang out with me; I was kissing him because I wanted to make my feelings for him clearer. This kiss was different from the other kisses we'd had.

There weren't any fireworks. People always expected first kissed to have electric current and fireworks. That was stupid. Why would there be fireworks in a kiss? It was pleasant and nice. Very nice. A nice kiss between a girl and a boy who liked each other. There weren't many words to describe this kissing, but I knew I wanted to do it again.

"Does that make you feel straight?" I asked grinning.

His grin matched mine, "If I say no, will you kiss me again?"

I giggled and pulled him onto me kiss him hard.

He chuckled.

I had to admit that making out with Embry was fun, and now that I actually liked him—actually wanted to be in a couple with him—the kiss meant so much more. It meant something. It was a good feeling.

When Silver got home, she found me and Embry at a good distance from each other on the couch. Silver grinned at the sight of us two and I wondered if the fact we'd been making out was obvious. Was my face flushed and lips bruised? I didn't feel guilty. I didn't even think about it.

Silver's boyfriend came in behind her, "Yo, Embry, can I ride home with you?" he asked. His voice was so deep and manly that I couldn't help but doubt the fact that he was 17. He didn't look 17. Then again, Embry didn't look 20 either maybe I shouldn't be judging. Silver was probably too in love to see that her boyfriend was a senior citizen.

"Sure," Embry shrugged and I got up next to him to walk him to the door.

"Okay," Seth nodded, the smile that seemed to never leave his face softened when he looked down at my sister. "I'll call you," he lifted her chin and kissed her. The kiss wasn't disgusting and groping like my and Embry's make-out session but looking at it made me feel weird, like it was too intimate to be watched.

Embry made a gagging sound and I giggled. I hugged him and let him go. He shoved Seth hard; breaking their kiss. He glared at Embry who winked and mouthed You're welcome to me.

"I love you." Seth said, "I'll call you," he repeated.

"I'll be awaiting you call," Silver said.

He steped one foot outside, "You won't be waiting long."

"For the love of God, you fag!" Embry yanked on Seth's arm, pulling him out of our house.

My lunch from earlier that day was about to make an appearance if the lovey-doveyness didn't stop. I ran past Silver to close and lock the door, "Ugh."

Silver looked up and me guiltily and grinned sheepishly, her cheeks turning a bright pink. I couldn't remember the last time my sister had blushed, "Sorry," she said, "I keep telling him not to do that...but when he does..." she sighed, "I'm so smitten." She jumped on the sofa and looked out the window expecting to watch them driving away but the car was already long gone. She sighed again.

"Well, I have some news." I sat on the other sofa and pressed mute on the satellite television that was on, "Are you ready for this?" I leaned forward grinning.

Silver turned around and sat down properly so she was facing me, "What?"

"I, Amber Masson, have fallen in like with Embry call." I stated. I was proud of myself. I had only broken up with Keegan a few weeks ago and I was already ready to hop on the horse again so to speak.

"Like?"

"Yes, I'm in like with him."

"Too soon for love?" she guessed.

"Way too soon." I doubted I would ever fall in love with anyone. Unlike Silver, I hadn't completely lost my mind. I knew that I was too young to know a fraction of what love was. Two weeks ago, when Silver was depressed because of Seth and not being with him; I had never seen a dumber thing in my life. They had only been on three dates! Did she honestly think it was then end of the world? It wasn't like they'd be getting married?

"Then we'll settle for like."

"I'm head over heels in like." I admitted. Being in like was a good feeling. It wasn't as complicated as being in love. It was so much better than being in love.

**Chapter 7: Undermined**

**Embry's POV**

I was grinning in my car on my way back home from Amber's. She was so hot! I couldn't believe I was dating her. And that kiss! I'd never felt anything like it. We kissed all the time but that kiss—the one right after that heartbreaking movie that made me show off my inner girl—she kissed the crap out of me. God she was just too freaking hot sometimes. And she was freaking awesome too. She was literally like one of the guys—except a million times hotter. I was seriously mad for this chick.

"So," Seth spoke, "You and Amber are pretty serious, huh?"

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend." I was proud to finally say the sentence out loud. It was a good feeling to know that my girlfriend was so hot. It was probably immature of me to not be able to stop thinking about how hot she was, but she was just so hot!

"Oh, I didn't know you guys were that serious! That's great!" Seth congratulated me and tapped my shoulder as a friendly gesture. "Silver was saying we should double date sometimes. She'd like that."

"Nah, I think we're good." I dismissed. Amber and I didn't like the lovey-dovey crap that went on with Seth and Silver. Of course I understood that imprints were like that but for Amber, it was just plain annoying and I couldn't blame her.

Seth sighed, "Whatever, I'm just asking because Silver asked me to." His feelings were obviously hurt by my rejection but I didn't pay attention to it. I dropped Seth at his house then decided to drive by Jacob's house. I was pretty sure he'd be there. I wanted some guy time and I knew Quil was with Claire at the time. I wasn't in the mood for toddlers.

I drove to Jacob's and jogged through the pouring rain to his front door. I tried opening the door but it was locked, "Jake! Open up, man!" I called even though raising my voice was highly unnecessary.

Jacob answered the door, "Hey Embry," he smiled, "What's up?"

I strode into his house, "You won't believe what I discovered today." I grinned walking to his living and plopping onto his sofa.

Jacob sat on the recliner and tied his hair that was loose into a pony tail. He beamed, "Awesome! Did you find another dead cat! The cat that was frozen was so sick—" he reminisced. I couldn't believe he remembered the frozen cat we found back in high school. That cat was so gross. It was the best day ever.

I laughed, "No, dude, I didn't find another frozen cat." I rolled my eyes, "It's about Amber."

"Oh, that girl you're dating."

"My girlfriend with whom I'm in love with." I corrected him with a smug smile.

Jacob raised an eyebrow, "Love?" he repeated mockingly. He probably doubted my sanity, but he didn't know Amber like I did. He didn't spend as much time with her and he hadn't kissed her before. If he'd kissed her, he understands how unbelievably great she was.

"Jealous?" I countered.

He scoffed. Throwing his head back dramatically—really laughing at me. "Embry, if you're in love with what's-her-face then I'm a thirteen year old girl." He got up and headed for the kitchen. He shook his head, still laughing.

I followed after him, pissed as hell. So all of a sudden he was the judge of who was and wasn't in love? Because he knew what love was? I loved Amber, who did he think he was to overrule that, "Seriously Jacob, I'm in love with her."

He laughed again and went into the fridge, pulling out ingredients to make himself a sandwich.

"Oh, go to hell Jacob. How many times have I said I'm in love?" I asked , "Never. This girl makes me feel good about myself."

"What? She made you feel her up?"

I froze for half a second. She had. That was really hot! She was so long and slender. Her skin was cool and soft. She was really thin, which was sad because she ate allot, but that didn't matter to me. "Yeah, so? That's not what I love about her." Even though I did enjoy feeling her up I added mentally. If I said that out loud he would think less of my feelings for her. I'd gloat about that in a few days.

He got two slices of bread and set them on a wooden tray. Then he turned to face me, his face was serious. "Okay, Embry, if you're in love with her, when is her birthday?"

I frowned, "It was just last week."

"Date." He demanded.

"I don't know, the second of this month." I was frustrated with his question. I wasn't really sure when her birthday was. But I can tell you now that I was wrong. Her birthday wasn't on the 2nd of July. It was kind of wrong of me not to know. It was a national holiday.

"See? No love."

"No, that's bogus."

"Okay, here's an easy one. Embry, what colour are Amber's eyes."

"Easy. They're—" the word got caught in my throat. I wanted to curse. I couldn't for the life of me remember the colour of her eyes. I remember them being big and full of surprise. She always looked like she was in shock, "They're...blue?"

He made a loud buzzing noise so I would know I was dead wrong.

"Brown?" I guessed.

His grin was smugger than mine was when I first came in. He shook his head.

"Oh! Like you know."

"I do know. Unlike you, I don't stare at her chest all day." He turned to make his cold meat sandwich.

"That's where you're wrong." I said, feeling a little better. "Her boobs are tiny, I never stare at them."

He chuckled patronizingly, "If you loved her you wouldn't have made such a rude remark." He pointed out.

My shoulders slouched. He was determined n making me look ridiculous.

"You also would have been able to tell be her eye colour like that." He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

"That's not true." I denied. I was literally pulling my speech out of my butt. I had no idea where I was going with this, "That's the physical stuff. The physical details don't matter. It's what's inside that matters."

"Bull. Crap." He put long pauses between each word.

He was really making me angry and I glared at him."Jacob!" I barked.

"Jacob!" a female voice yelled. At the entry of the kitchen was Jacob's older sister—aka Paul's imprint—Rachael. She wore a big, stretched out t-shirt that she clearly used to sleep in. "I said I'd be sleeping. Are you deaf or stupid?" Rachael looked hot when she was pissed. Her light skin contrasted drastically with her long silky black hair that reached just below her full breast. I instantly noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra. I pulled my eyes back up to her face that was very angry looking. Her dark eyes narrowed.

"Sorry Rach." Jacob apologized.

"Seriously, why do I even come here? I could never get a decent night sleep." She hissed. She was so feisty, no wonder she was with Paul. She was as short tempered as he was. Rachael was hot, but she was hotter when she kept her mouth shut.

I looked at my watch, "It's 9:30,"

"Thank you, Embry, I forgot how to tell time." She rolled her eyes, "Oh, yeah, and you're so not in love with the blond girl's sister so shut up and go home." She sneered before heading off to her bedroom.

"She's delightful." I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I missed her too." Jacob said.

I stared at him incredulously before walking to the door, "You're a jerk Jake. Quil would've been nicer."

"Quil would have told you the same thing." He was still laughing when I left his house, "I give 'em a month," I heard him mutter on my way to my car.

I hated being undermined like that. Did Jacob really think he knew more about love than I did? It was probably because of that imprint of his. Was it so hard to believe that two people could fall in love without all the hocus-pocus crap of imprinting? I was losing my temper, my hands trembled slightly and I wasn't in the mood to fight the sensation. Phasing would have felt good now.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I check out the caller ID. It was Amber. I sighed in defeat and pressed end. I was in no mood to talk to Amber. Instead, I went for a jog through the night, gradually removing items of clothing and phasing in the woods.

**Chapter 8: Insulted**

**Amber's POV**

I sat in the middle of my senior Spanish class. I really hated this seat. It was one of those seats that gave you a perfect view of the teacher. There was absolutely nothing I could do without the teacher catching a glimpse of me first. Even a week after going to this school—Forks High School—I still felt exposed, as if everyone were looking at me.

"You want to be in teams?" Christina asked from the seat next to me. She had been my first friend at this school and I liked her the most. She was a pretty girl with cream coloured skin and curly black hair. She had explained that she was part Egyptian, which explained the exotic tone her skin had.

"Yeah, sure." I agreed and she pushed her desk together with mine. We pulled out our Spanish activity book and Christina peered through the English-Spanish dictionary for every word she didn't understand.

"Hey Gals." Said Steve, dragging his chair to our merged desks with books of his own. I hadn't expected Steve to speak to us so my heart stuttered a bit at his pretty boyness. Steve was an obvious cutie gone hottie. He had honey blond hair and piercing blue eyes. His grin was cocky showing off pearly white and perfectly straight teeth. In his cheeks, were dimples, ten times more gorgeous than the one dimple Silver had in her left cheek. That was mostly how I recognized him. His little sister, Anne-Flore Gilles, ate lunch with Silver; she was sort of his replica; a petite blonde with piercing blue eyes and dimples.

"Hey Steve," I said but tried not to stare at him. He was so pretty. I couldn't help but think about how cute he must've been when he was a little boy.

"Hey Masson," he grinned at me. He checked me out—up and down—and I shied away from him, closer to Christina. Steve was just too cool for school. It was guys like him that made me forget that I had a boyfriend—it was guys like him that made me forget my own name. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing just school work." I lifted the activity book and flailed it in his face.

"Are you having any trouble at school? Any homework you need help with? Trig, Science, English?" he studied me carefully and I couldn't help raising an eyebrow. He was so darn cocky, like really full of himself. Not to mention it was the beginning of the year and we were mostly just revisiting the stuff we learned last year.

I did have some problems in math though and it would be completely innocent if he helped me understand certain things. I mean, if I went to his house, his sister would be there so nothing disgusting would really be happening...

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket causing me to jump. I looked up to see if the teacher noticed something off but she continued scanning through her book. I pulled my Blackberry out of my pocket and checked my messages. I saw that I had a message from my boyfriend and frowned. I checked it.

What are you doing?? Read his message.

"Who is it?" Christina tried to read my message.

"It's my boyfriend. He's such a retard." I answered. I'm at school. Duh. I texted him back.

"You have a boyfriend?" Steve asked, sounding surprised but not at all discouraged. I was liking him more and more. I kind of liked douche bags and Steve was a funny SOB.

"Yeah, we've been dating for...huh, two months...no, less than that." I shrugged not really caring. I wasn't like my gay little sister who counted everyday that passed by with her beloved Seth—who had transferred to Forks High just to be with her.

"He from around here?" Christina asked.

"Sure, well, La Push, the Quileute reservation."

"Oh, jeez, those guys are huge!" Steve's shoulders slumped, "The Queets are giants."

"Hot, giants," Christina added, "Do you know and hotties to set me up with?"

Jacob and Quil instantly popped into my head at her question. My phone vibrated in my hand and I read Embry's text out loud, "Oops, forgot. Want me to pick you up from school?" I smiled to myself. He'd finally gotten enough money to get himself a car. It wasn't a nice car but he'd been working on the engine and crap like that, he was proud of his car. He named his car Jamie, after the girl who died in A walk to remember. God my boyfriend was gay.

I replied his text quickly accepting his offer.

"Your sister is dating a Queet right?" Christina asked with big, interested eyes.

"Yeah, Seth, cute kid."

"More like hot. Tell me when your sisters done with him." She giggled before going back to her dictionary.

After school, I headed for the exit. I stopped at the door, seeing the pouring rain and grimaced. This morning, it was actually not raining but of course it had to rain now that I had left my umbrella in Silver's car. My shoulders slumped and I frowned, I really didn't want to get my hair wet.

The other students slithered passed me wearing unattractive jackets with hoods. That seemed practical, I felt stupid for not having one of my own.

"N-need help?" a voice cracked from behind me. I turned to see a boy with big, curly ,dark brown hair. He was thin and tall. I tried not to snicker at the fact that he was obviously Jewish. I didn't have a problem with Jewish people—hell, I loved them—it was just funny that he had it printed onto his forehead. The boy appeared shy; his face had taken a shade of tomato red.

"Ugh, do you have an umbrella to share?" I smiled sheepishly after noticing the unopened umbrella in his hand.

He laughed nervously and his voice cracked, "Yeah," he cleared his throat and offered me the umbrella.

I took it from him and opened it stepping out into the rain. The boy came after me and I stood closer to him so he'd be under the umbrella as well, "Thanks," he said.

"You don't have to thank me for your umbrella..." I trailed off when I realized I didn't know his name. I looked at him expectantly so he would fill in the blank but he didn't he just stared back at me. He was a weird kid and my eyebrow rose instinctively. What was he staring at? Super strange.

"Hey Am!" Embry called and jogged over to us, a blue umbrella over his head. I was relieved to get out of the awkward situation. The boys in Forks were really weird.

"Hey Em," I turned back to the weirdo who had just taken his eyes off Embry to meet my gaze then blush, "Well, thanks for the shelter," I handed him his umbrella and he took it back mechanically, "The names Amber thanks...guy." I grimaced before skipping to Embry's side. He wrapped his arm around my waist. I turned my face so I could kiss his lips.

"Made friends?" Embry guessed, giving me the umbrella and running to the driver's side of the blue car and unlocking my side. His car was so old.

I slid into his car and shook my head, "Ugh, no. I needed an umbrella and that guy was there. Total weirdo."

Embry chuckled and drove us to his house. Watching movies was sort of our thing. We watched all types of movies together. Romantic comedies, cartoons, romance, I preferred the comedies but Embry liked the thrillers and the horror flicks which we never watched. He made me sit through Disturbia with Shia Leboeuf and I was still kind of paranoid.

Today we toned down the horror by just watching a good old fashioned Will Ferrell movie. Super star. But Embry surprised me by diving in, head first, into an intense make out session. We were in his living room, on the sofa, facing the flat screen and I lay on my back as Embry kissed me urgently.

"I missed you today." I said tangling his fingers in my thick curly hair.

I was too breathless to laugh at him like I wanted. He was so clingy some times. I was the kind of girl that could go a day or two without speaking to her boyfriend but Embry insisted on calling and texting whenever he could. My gay little man.

His large hand trailed down my body and I could feel the warmth of him through my thin clothing. His skin was so hot that I almost felt as though it was burning me when it found the bare skin at the small of my back.

My eyes narrowed when I felt his hand trailing up my back than anger filled my body when I felt him struggling with my bra. I shove hard against his chest and jerk my knee upwards when I didn't get a responds fast enough.

"Ah, what?" Embry said, frustration clear in his voice and facial expression.

"Ah, what? I repeated incredulously, pushed him off of me and scooted away from him so we were no longer touching, "Embry, we've been dating two months." I reminded him crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Exactly," he nodded reaching for my face and I smacked his hand. He frowned, "Are you kidding?"

"Is it funny?"

"No. It's not." He said sounding as annoyed as I was.

I glared at him, "Well if you think I'm having sex with you now, then your insane."

He sighed as if her understood and turned back to the TV. I couldn't stop glaring at him incredulously. Two months. Was he crazy? Did he really think we'd do anything after two months? That said allot about what he thought of me. I clenched my hands into fist and fought the urge to break his jaw.

"You're right. We're mad. We'll try again when the movie is finished." He arranged.

"No." I objected, angry that he was planning the event without my permission, "We will not be trying anything when the movie is done."

"Amber, it's been two months." He groaned agonisingly. His face was pleading and I felt myself getting angrier by the second.

"It hasn't been long enough." I stated, not hiding my fury at all in my voice.

He leaned towards me, "Amber, come on, I love you." He lied.

I gasped. Those words were an utter insult. Did he really think I would be that easy? That all he had to do was tell me he loved me and I would spread my legs for him? I knew Embry and I were together because we liked each other, cared for each other and enjoyed spending time together but at that moment, Embry reminded me how much of a guy he really was and like any guy he would say anything and everything to get into my pants.

I slapped him in the face and pulled my hand to my chest, shocked that I actually hit him. My hand felt hot but I ignored the uncomfortable sensation and yelled, "I'm a virgin, Embry!" I barked.

Embry was taken aback and backed away from me like I had the some kind of disease. His eyes widened in shock and it wasn't because I had slapped him—he wasn't even rubbing his cheek in pain—it was because he didn't know. I felt my face get hot but didn't stop glaring at him. My expression screamed Yeah, I said it but inside my head I was running in circles like a chicken without a head and asking myself what the hell did I just say?

**Chapter 9: Confessed**

**Embry's POV**

I should have won the award for biggest idiots. Kissing Amber was such an experience and I had been thinking about her all day. She didn't hesitate to kiss me back during the movie and I immediately felt hope. We'd been dating for 2 months; that was more than enough to take our relationship to the next level.

The skin on her back was so soft and I melded her perfect body closer to mine as I let my hand go up her shirt to unhook her bra and do some serious monkey business. To my surprised, she attempted to kick me in the balls. That instantly got a reaction out of me.

"Ah what?" was what I demanded in frustration. She was so hot and I was very frustrated. Sexual frustrated to be more specific. That was the worst of all frustration in my opinion. There was nothing worse than going 5 months without sex—especially when your girlfriend was hot like mine. Not having sex with her was literal torture.

My response offended her. She threw the fact that we'd only been dating for two months in my face. If anyone was aware of that, it was me. How long did she want to wait? A year? That was ridiculous.

She did seem angry so I let it go. I did really care for Amber and I would have hated for our first time to be out of anger...Well, angry sex was pretty good but not for our first time together. I told her we'd try after the movie. I wanted to be reasonable—I wanted to have sex.

That pissed her off even more and she dismissed sex completely. Two months was too soon. She had to be kidding me. It had been five months since I had sex with Hana Sullivan and five months was too long for anyone to go without sex.

"Come on, Amber. I love you." I groaned agonisingly hoping that those were the magic words.

They were the magic words to something because she slapped me in the face. Sure, it didn't hurt my face, but it did kind of hurt my heart. Of course that was me being mellow dramatic. I was in shock though. She'd hit me.

"I'm a virgin, Embry!" she yelled clutching the hand that she slapped me with to her chest.

I backed away from her feeling like utter garbage. Well, wait a go Embry, you just assaulted a virgin. My jaw fell slack and I just stared at Amber who was glaring at me. Judging by her expression, she was going to dump me in about ten seconds. I tried leaving as much distance between us as possible, I was kind of freaked that I was dating a virgin. That was really weird.

"A-Amber, I didn't know." I stuttered, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She rolled her eyes, "When was I supposed to tell you, our first, second or third date? It's personal Embry."

"As your boyfriend, I should've known."

"It's my virginity, Embry, not ours. This doesn't affect you."

I scoffed. She wasn't the one who hadn't gotten laid in a million years. Well...not in the same sense at least. She didn't understand and it wasn't her fault. God, I hated when things like this happened. I sighed, "I'm sorry, Amber," I apologized and hoped that it sounded sincere. I really was sorry, "If I'd known, I never would have done that."

"I'm mad at you, Embry. You lied to me just now and that wasn't cool."

I grimaced. I really should have backed off when she said no instead of begging like a dog. I couldn't believe that I told her I loved her. That wasn't cool and I guess it was uncalled for. Especially since it didn't work, that really threw me in a pile of crap. "Amber, I'm really sorry. I was stupid to have said that. I swear if I knew I wouldn't have done any of it. I mean, you don't exactly look like a virgin."

It wasn't till I saw Amber's frown deepen that I realized that I'd said something wrong—so so so wrong. "What does that mean?" She demanded, "Do I have a face de pute?"

"What?" I hated when she used French expressions, especially when she was arguing with someone—Silver—because I never knew the insults. She'd said the words too fast for me to have gotten any of them.

"A slut's face, Embry! Do you think I have a slut's face?" she yelled.

I was even more shocked now. I didn't know there would be yelling happening today—screaming maybe but not yelling. It took me a minute to find words. This was the first time Amber and I ever argued, I wasn't sure how to suck up to her yet, I hadn't had much practice. "No! Amber, you're face is really hot, not a slut at all."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and didn't seem convinced.

"Look, Amber, it has nothing to do with your...face. I just assumed you weren't a virgin because you're 18 and, well, you're from Montreal—" I was trying to be completely truthful but she cut me off.

"Girls in Montreal are loose? Hm, well that's good to know." She said sarcastically, clearly offended.

"No, Amber," I sighed, I was saying her name way too much and I could tell that she was getting angrier, "Montreal's a big city is all. I just...I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."

Amber frowned than finally looked up at me. Her being mad at me was really a bad feeling. I liked her so much and I hated knowing that I had upset her. I would have given anything for her to forgive me. Her expression softened and she sighed, "I guess you're right. I knew girls who started having sex at 12—"

"That's a bit much." I muttered.

"Point is, you didn't know and...well you're a guy so I forgive you." She smiled and I felt even more like crap. Why did she have to be so awesome? Why couldn't she be at least a little bit annoying so that I wouldn't want to be with her so badly? Every time she said something—every time I learned something about her—I became more and more attracted to her. That sucked because she was a virgin. My being attracted to her was pointless.

"This really sucks," I sighed.

"So you're obviously not a virgin." She commented.

"Does it show?" I asked sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

Amber didn't answer, she just smiled apologetically. She crawled over to my side of the sofa and my heart accelerated. Was this her changing her mind? Sweet!

She pushed me back so I was laying down a little and rested her head on my chest, "I'm kind of sorry." She said, "This must sucks for you."

I laughed at the fact that sometimes Amber could know exactly what I was thinking. Then I laughed even harder at the hidden dirty reference, "I wish." I chuckled and wrapped my arm around my girlfriend.

She gasped, "Embry!" she giggled despite her disgust, "You're so sick." She sighed and we stayed quiet for a few breaths. I couldn't pay much attention to the movie. With Amber's body pressed against mine like this, I had to concentrate on other things that would get me a more aggressive slap in the face. Instead, I thought of our emotional relationship. I was with Amber now and we'd been together for two months, which was more or less a big deal. I really did like her—what wasn't to like—but I also liked sex—what was there to hate? I was sure that I would love sex with Amber. My mind drifted to that place which really wasn't smart. I shook my head before my body could show that I was having naughty thoughts.

"You and Seth are good friends right?" Amber asked.

I was thankful for the distraction, "Yeah, I guess, why?"

"Silver's a virgin too and...I don't want this"—she gestured between us—"to happen to her so could you, like, tell Seth to not try anything because he's not going to get anything either."

I grimaced at her words. I wasn't going to get anything? Well that was just the worst thing that ever happened to anyone. I tried to focus. It made me feel better that Seth wouldn't be getting any either. At least I tried to make it make me feel better. Seth was a virgin too, he wasn't much help. "Sure, I'll talk to him. You shouldn't get involved with the young ones." I teased.

She didn't laugh, "I worry about my sister sometimes. I like Seth—he's nice—but I feel like Seth and Silver are moving too fast. They're so young."

"She's just a year younger than you." I reminded.

"She's still a baby to me. Seth is her first boyfriend and I'm afraid he's going to get hurt." She sounded sincerely worried so I comforted her by rubbing her arm.

"Seth's a good guy, Am. He won't hurt her." I assured her.

She sighed.

"It's hard being a big sister isn't it?" I guessed. I had never had any brothers or sisters till the pack but it couldn't have been the same since we were all generally the same age. I wanted to get Amber talking for more than just a distraction.

"It doesn't have to be, some sisters don't care but I can't." She answered, "There's really no one in this world that means more to me than my sister. She's not my best friend—we don't tell each other everything—but she's still the most important person in my world...I think she feels the same."

"If you don't tell each other everything then how do you know she's a virgin?"

"Because she is." She said sternly.

"Would she tell you when she does?"

"No, we don't talk about that sort of stuff."

"Then how will you know for sure."

"Call me crazy but I feel like I'd see the difference...I don't know, I feel like it'll be psychic."

I felt my lips twitch upwards into a smile. I never knew Amber could be so deep. I had never heard something more heart warming in my life. Her love for her sister really did conquer all. I hoped that the imprint between Silver and Seth didn't change Sil's view of things. I hoped that even with Seth in her life, Amber was still her number one. I had a feeling that there was nothing Amber wouldn't do to keep her sister safe.

"You think, I'm crazy and over protective don't you?" Amber said, sounding embarrassed.

"No, I think it's really sweet. I wish I knew what that felt like sometimes."

"Like what feels like?" Amber looked up at me with curious eyes. They weren't green, they weren't grey, but a mixture of both. Her eyes were light green around the pupil and blended in with grey once it reached closer to the rim.

"To know someone feels the exact same way for you than you do for them." I clarified feeling stupid for being such a baby. She probably thought that was pathetic. I wanted to be loved. It sounded gay, even to me.

Her eyes went over my face—I wasn't sure what I looked like—and she grew understanding, "You know, Embry, if something bad ever happened to you; I would be very sad." She confessed.

My throat tightened and I tried to smile, feeling as though I was going to blush. She was so amazing sometimes. Sometimes, she was more than just a hot, funny person, she could be so nice. "If something bad ever happened to you; I'd be really sad too."

She smiled, "See, now you have someone who feels the same way for you as you do for them."

I placed my finger under her chin and lifted it so that my lips would meet hers. My heart actually accelerated and I was surprised by this new sensation. I couldn't believe what I had just done, I couldn't even think the words to myself it was so ridiculous. Before it was easy for me to claim what I was feeling because it was a feeling I had felt a million times—a tiny little crush—but this time it was something more, it was something much better.

I was too surprised by my own overwhelming emotions to feel hurt by Amber's steady heart beat that wasn't beating double time like mine was. That didn't make me love her less, it probably made me love her more. Love her more. Huh, it was nice thinking it. I wasn't going to say it out loud though—I wasn't going to tell anyone. The fact that I had fallen in love for the first time was nobody else's business but my own.

I pulled her face away from mine so I could look at her face again, "I don't think that's true." I replied then kissed her again.

**Chapter 10: The talk **

I was in my car driving through the drizzling way on my way to my house. My girlfriend was at her house working on a project that she had. I was going to help her with it after dropping a few things off at home. I also thought it was time for me to talk to Seth like she'd asked me to a few days ago. Silver and Seth's sex life—or lack of such—was hardly any of my, or even Amber's, business but it was important to her to prevent the awkward situation that would occur if Seth did try to have sex with Silver. Apparently, Silver was a naturally giving person and she didn't like upsetting people. Amber was afraid that her sister would have sex with Seth just to make him happy.

I knew that Seth wouldn't talk Silver into doing anything she didn't want to do. Not only because of the imprint but because Seth was really a good guy. Love made you do stupid things I guess because after dropping off the milk and eggs I was heading off to Seth's house.

I saw Silver's red Chrysler pull out of Seth's driveway and head in the direction of Forks, I presumed. I parked my car in Seth's driveway and walked to the door. Seth was standing at the open door looking at me curiously. I shoved him out of the way so I could get some shelter.

"Seth, we have to talk." I said in a serious tone. I just wanted to get this over with. This really wasn't any of my business and I was embarrassed for getting involved.

Seth grinned, "Are you breaking u with me?" he raised an eyebrow.

I laughed nervously and tried to make myself calm down. Seth was cool. He wouldn't make me feel too bad for sticking my head where it didn't belong. He did it all the time. Seth wouldn't make fun of me for being completely whipped by a girl I hadn't even imprinted with. It was a bad feeling—being whipped—I was no better than the imprinted guys. Well, I functioned better when I wasn't with Amber, but other than that, I was just as whipped as any of them. I drew myself a mental line. I would not buy Amber tampons if she asked me to.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked in his easy going tone. He had no idea what was coming. I almost felt bad. He plopped onto the sofa and turned on the TV. He put it on a basket ball game and I felt a little less weight on my shoulders.

I shrugged and sat down next to him watching the game. "Amber wanted me to talk to you." I said.

"Huh, that's weird," he commented, "What did she want you to say?" we didn't look away from the TV as we had this conversation. It was awesome being a guy.

"It's about Silver,"

Seth's head whipped in my direction and I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head. His heart stuttered uneasily and I grimaced. Imprints. "What's wrong?" he sounded breathless.

I rolled my eyes, "She's fine. Jeez," I shoved his shoulder, "Seth, I know this is really none of my business—to be honest I don't even care—but Amber wants me to tell you so here it goes." I took a deep breath, "I'm sure you already know that you're imprint's a virgin."

"Yeah," he nodded then grinned, "I was her fist kiss, too. Isn't that sweet?" he sounded like he was bragging.

"Yeah, Yeah, anyways—wait. You were Silver's first kiss? But she's, well, hot."

"She's more than hot." Seth frowned, "She gorgeous, she's—"

I cut him off. "Seriously, Seth, I don't care." I rolled my eyes feeling exhausted. Amber and I weren't having sex but she better have something nice for me when I got there. "Like I said; Silver's a virgin so...don't try anything funny alright?"

"Excuse me?"

I sighed, "Look, Seth, Amber knows Silver more than you do so take her word for it and don't try anything. It would upset Amber if you upset Silver." That was definitely an understatement. Amber would be pissed off to the maximum if Seth upset her sister. But Seth wasn't going to be afraid of some human girl so what was the point in warning him.

It was quiet for a few seconds and I went back to watching the game. I wasn't sure what teams were playing but I was trying to focus on it. I jumped when Seth's bursted into laughter.

"You're not the only one who shouldn't be getting involved." He laughed.

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him. Was that him making fun of Amber? That wasn't cool. My hands trembled a bit and I clenched them into fist, "What?" I spat through clenched teeth.

"Embry, don't worry about our sex life. Silver won't be upset. And as for Amber...let's not get her more involved."

"Wait. What are you saying Seth? You and Silver are sexually active?" I asked.

"Dude, don't say that. You sound like my mom."

"How about this? Are you and Silver doing each other?"

Seth stopped laughing and I swear, I thought I saw him blush. "That's...kind of personal, Embry."

I rolled my eyes and turned my body so that I was facing him. I didn't have the patients for these games; he was going to give me straight answers for me to tell Amber, "Seth, we're brothers, you can tell me."

Seth looked up at me and hesitated for a while. I let him think and he gave in, "Leah's going off to college—well, later anyways. My mom and her are heading to Vancouver to check out the school campus and stuff. Vancouver's beautiful apparently so they'll be staying for a few days. I promised Silver that we'd... you know...once we got the house to ourselves—since my bed is bigger than her and all—so, yeah." He confessed everything.

My jaw dropped near the beginning of his speech. Amber's thoughts and emotions about this flew out of my head. All I could do was feel...really jealous. It didn't even sound fair. Amber and I were practically adults—I was a man—and we weren't even remotely close to having sex. Silver was Amber's little sister and she was ready to have sex before Amber was. Well, that was just my luck.

"I'm excited, but kind of nervous. Really nervous." He went on.

I shook my head clear. Silver and Amber were two different people. I couldn't be upset that one of them was losing their virginity before the other...even if the abstinent one was the older sister and my girlfriend. "It's okay, Seth...we all feel that way at first."

"Did you? Sometimes I feel like I'm weird."

"Sure," I shrugged.

"What's it like?"

His question got out of my comfort zone and I felt the need to scoot further away from him on the sofa, "Hey, isn't this a conversation you were supposed to have with your—" I cut myself short before saying something stupid. It was hard remembering that I wasn't the only fatherless wolf around. Harry probably died before Seth was old enough to have the real sex talk.

Seth knew what I was going to say and his head lolled, "Yeah," he said glumly, "You're right—"

"No, it's okay. It's...fun and sweaty and...Seth, I don't know how to talk to you about this." I admitted.

He nodded sadly, "Yeah, I get it."

"No, Seth, what I mean is; what I had with the girls I've slept with, it's nothing compared to what you and Silver will have. I didn't love those girls." I felt kind of sleazy saying it out loud but it was the truth. I felt less bitter about Seth getting sex before I did. He and Silver were in love. With me and Amber—I loved her, but I had a feeling it wasn't mutual. She didn't love me like I loved her. I didn't want to have sex with Amber if she didn't want me to.

"Oh," Seth seemed to understand and wasn't sad anymore.

"You should talk to Sam." I suggested, "Or Jared or Paul—Okay, maybe not Paul." I laughed.

Seth laughed as well, "Thanks, I'll think about that."

"Good," I got up, "Well, I'm going to head off to the Masson's."

"Embry, could you not tell Amber that I'm having sex with her sister this weekend? I feel like that'll put a damper on our relationship." Seth smiled sheepishly.

I chuckled, "No problem. You're secrets safe with me." I promised and planned on keeping it. Amber was probably going to be nicer if she thought her little sister was still as innocent as she thought she was. It was almost funny how wrong Amber was. She thought Silver was this innocent little baby who just started finding boys attractive. It was funnier than it was sad.

I drove to Amber's house and rang the doorbell.

Silver was the one to answer the door, "Hi Embry." She studied my face thoroughly. She went over my facial features trying to find something I wasn't exactly sure of. Looking at her from this close, it was easy to see why Amber thought she was a baby. She was sort of small. Her blood hair made her look borderline angelic. Silver's eye never ceased their ogling. It occurred to me that she knew I knew.

"Little Silver Masson isn't as innocent as everyone thinks she is." I whispered to her and couldn't help grinning when her heart sped up.

"Embry, please, please, don't tell Amber. I don't want her to know." She begged, "I'll give you anything. Want to borrow my car? You totally can."

"Silver. Calm down, I won't tell Amber a thing." I assured her.

She relaxed her posture, "Thanks." She blushed and stepped aside for me to come in. "She's down stair in her room." She informed me.

I walked to the head off the stairs and stopped. I had one last sarcastic comment to tell, "You know Silver, it's unattractive for to beg. Seth agrees." I snorted.

"I know you're a werewolf, but would it kill you if I pushed you down the stairs?" Silver asked innocently.

I snorted, "My last breath would be 'Silver...wants...sex'." I coughed and pretended to die before going to the basements. I turned to Amber's bedroom door and knocked.

"Come in!" She called.

I obeyed and stepped into her very pink room.

She was lying on the floor with books scattered all around her, "Hey, Embry, how was your day?"

She looked so beautiful with her curly bronze her pilled on ton of her head in an untidy pony. She quickly pulled the elastic out and let her hair flow down her shoulders. She was so hot it hurt.

"My day was good. I thought of you allot."

She rolled her eyes, "My boyfriend: the dork. Did you talk to Seth?"

"I did."

She got up and closed the distance between us, wrapping her arms around my neck, "And...?"

"And nothing. Absolutely nothing. Seth's not going to do anything that Silver isn't okay with." I answered her honestly and fought the need to snicker at how accurate that was.

"Oh, Embry, you're perfect." She crooned and kissed me hard. Her soft lips making my heart race and I was almost sure that she could feel it since her body was pressed so closely to mine. I wrapped my arms around her small waist and lifted her off the ground. She squeaked and giggled.

I set her on the ground and broke our kiss to look into her eyes. They were so unique; I'd never seen anything like them. They made me feel so much hope. Hope that maybe if I told Amber how I felt, she'd have an epiphany and know she loved me too.

"A-Amber, I—" I stuttered and bit my tongue. That was a stupid think to hope for. A girl like Amber would never fall for a guy like me. She was practically perfect and I was far from that, "I think we should get started on your homework."

Amber watched me suspiciously and I kept my face remote. She gave up after a few seconds, "Okay, then," she shrugged and sat on the ground.

Another reason why Amber could never fall in love with a guy like me; I was a wuss.

**Chapter 11: Non-Virgin**

**Amber's POV**

I had to admit that it was a little weird. I was kind of jealous that Silver had such rich friends. Those Cullen's were really enthusiastic about birthdays. It was the blond twin's birthdays and they were doing this weird 5 days extravaganza. I'd never really met the Cullen's. I'd met Bella, Alice and Rosalie a few times but Silver usually went to their house. I didn't care that she was leaving me alone that meant I got the house to myself...and Embry.

I sighed and sunk closer into his chest. I almost felt bad for not being crazy about him. He was so nice and sweet and funny. I knew way too much that loving someone too much gave them the power to crush you beyond repair. That wasn't something I was particularly into.

I did enjoy Embry's company at more than a "just friends" level. I loved calling him my boyfriend. The other day was completely forgotten between us and I was relieved. He hadn't brought up sex not once in the last week. We were in my house, alone, for several hours almost every day and he never suggested sex in any shape, way, or form. Even now, with my whole body pressed against him as we napped on my cramped bed, I felt completely comfortable.

There was a loud thunder and my eyes popped open. That had startled me awake. My heart was beating very quickly in my chest and Embry's eyes fluttered open.

I sat up and stretch my limbs, "Thanks for napping with me," I said, "You're really the best."

Embry sat up to wrap his arms around my waist and kiss my neck causing me to giggle, "Let's go back to sleep." He suggested.

"My mom will be here in a few minutes." I got off my bed and walked to my door to turn on the dimmer switch. I looked at myself in my full length mirror and frowned at the mess my hair had become. This was getting ridiculous; I was way too comfortable with Embry. In some ways, he was my best friend. If he hadn't been there this week, I would've died of boredom. I was excited for Silver to come back home today. I would never tell her that, but my world usually crumbled when she was gone for more than 48 hours. It hadn't crumbled this time though. I had Embry.

When I finished cleaning the kitchen before my mom got home, Embry and I turned on the TV. I sat my back to the television and smiled at him, "I really appreciate you."

Embry smiled as though he was a little embarrassed, "I like spending time with you, Am."

"Me too. You're kind of...my favourite person in the world right now."

"That's..." so many emotions crossed Embry's expression—mixture of happiness and fear, sadness and confusion. He didn't say anything; he just leaned forward and kissed my lips. He kissed me very softly and caressed my face with his hot hands. He held my face close to his when he pulled away, "Amber, I..."

I waited for him to say whatever he had to say. He seemed so focused on the words that refused to come out of his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Your mom's here." He said without opening his eyes than he sat back and looked at the TV.

My face was frozen in the same confused expression when my mom stepped through the front door. I didn't ask myself how he knew that. It was probably a lucky guess. Or maybe he saw the light from my mother's car from the corner of his eye through the window...

"Hey Amber, Hey Embry," she greeted and walked towards us. She smoothed Embry's hair and kissed me on the cheek before asking, "What's for dinner?"

I laughed, though it sounded fake and nervous.

My mother didn't pay any mind to it. She went into the kitchen and took off her wet jacket, "You're sister's coming home today, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I can't believe you let her go."

"She's my good daughter." My mother joked, "I bought Cinnamon buns."

I gasped, "Oh! Yay!" I jumped off the sofa and took the white plastic bag off the table to find the cinnamon buns with white icing in a plastic container. I took 2 out of the six and put them on a plate and into the microwave for thirty seconds. I jumped back onto the sofa and offered a bun to Embry who took it without hesitation. He was back to his old self. That was a relief.

My mom sat on the other sofa and stole the remote from me and Embry. She put it on stupid Entertainment Tonight. I personally couldn't care less about celebrities' private lives.

We were done with our cinnamon buns when Silver came in.

"Hi Silli!" My mother smiled at the entrance of her youngest daughter—her baby. The house wasn't the same without her. "How was that party thing you went to?" My mom didn't get up from her seat to give Silver several smooches like she would've if Embry wasn't here.

"It was so fun! The first day we went, like, dancing and then we went to a play and we ate at a restaurant, like, every day!" I said excitedly.

"Well, I'm happy you had fun."

"Yeah," Embry grinned. "You must've had so _much fun!_" he imitated Silver so well. He over reacted with the bubble-gumness but it was still funny .

I laughed. He was so funny. I rested my head on his shoulder for a second and sat back normally. I could've sworn that I saw Silver glaring at Embry but she just threw her purse on the couch next to my mother and headed for the kitchen. She came back with a cinnamon bun and didn't protest when she found my mother digging in her purse.

"Oh, you went to the pharmacy?" my mom mentioned with a receipt in her hand. "What did you buy?"

Silver shrugged, not really caring, and bit in her cinnamon bun.

My mother grinned and started listing the receipt out loud. "Redbull, Hershey's Almond and toffee— Silver, you're going to get diabetes if you keep eating like this." She warned.

I rolled my eyes.

"Skittles, Durex ultra sensitive..." my mom's smile faded and she looked at Silver horrified.

My heart stuttered with nervousness. I didn't want my sister to die. I didn't question whether she lost her virginity or not. She was definitely still a virgin. She probably needed the condoms for a science project or maybe a water balloon fight. It couldn't have been for sex. I felt my cheeks get warm with the thought of my little sister having sex before me. That would have been embarrassing.

Silver looked like she was chocking. Her cheeks got a little pink as she struggled to find words to say. Her lips appeared to be trembling and I thought she was going to cry. I wanted to get up and give her a big hug. I didn't want my mom to scare her too much but I couldn't move, I had been splashed with cold water. Silver wasn't a virgin, and I was. I couldn't think of anything more mortifying. Embry was going to find out because Seth would tell him. Seth. How dare he?! He...to my sister. I couldn't think the whole sentence. It was a disturbing—disgusting—thought.

Ew. Silver was a baby! How could Seth even see her as a sexual being? I couldn't even think of her as a sexual being. I couldn't tell at all if my sister was hot or not. I knew she was pretty—beautiful even. She had a great body, one I was envious of—she got the boobs—but it took more than that to be sexy. She was a baby! My baby.

"Embry, go home. Amber, your room. Now." My mom ordered in an even voice. There was so much strictness in her voice I didn't even complain.

Embry and I both got up and didn't even say goodbye to each other as we did what we were told. I forced myself to glance at Silver and we locked eyes. I gave her an apologetic look. I was so sorry she had to do this.

I lay down on my bed and fought back tears. I felt so selfish for being on the verge of crying. It was ridiculous. I had lost. I was supposed to have sex first. It wasn't a competition it just wasn't fair that Silver was a woman before me. Again. She got her first period one week before I got mine. But I got my first kiss first, and my first boyfriend....

It went against nature for Silver to be more experienced than I was in something. And Embry was going to know.

I recoiled into a ball and groaned in pain. I couldn't imagine losing him right now. It almost caused me pain. My stomach twisted in disorderly fashions. I couldn't lose Embry. He was my best friend. It was never good to have your boyfriend be your best friend. Those were to string that should never be attached because now we were bounded in two different ways: the emotional relationship that ran deep and the physical relationship that was too shallow for our relationship to survive. If it survived. And I doubted it would. When Embry found out that the youngest Masson was able to let a man touch her...he would think I was stuck up—a nun. He'd find himself a real woman.

I was going to fight. I was going to give Embry everything I could. I hoped that would be enough, if it wasn't then to hell with him. I didn't care if he was that kind of jerk. I loved being single. I loved dating. Steve was cute. I was kind of the talk of the school, being new and all. Silver wasn't really a big deal because she had a boyfriend who went to our school. Most of the guys didn't know I was with Embry.

I was with Embry. Huh. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. When I put it in the perspective that Embry was a man who wanted sex at all cost, it changed the way I looked at him. He would say that he didn't mind the lack of sex. He said that my being a virgin changed everything. I had a feeling Silver that Silver's not being a virgin changed everything.

I hated to think that Silver would be the end of my relationship. She had brought Embry and I together and know she was tearing her apart. It wasn't her fault, but still. I was going to fight for Embry but I wasn't going to let him win everything either.

**Chapter 12: Advice needed**

**Embry's POV**

I checked the time on my watched and shrugged. Figured it was time I pay Quil a visit. I thought it would be fun to laugh at the crap Seth's imprint was in. She was probably blushing tomato red right now, having the serious sex talk with her mom. It was always funny when young people got in trouble.

I thought back to Amber and how close I was to freaking her out. Telling her I loved her was not a smooth move. She would think I was lying and slap me again. Or worse! She could have believed me and been completely freaked out. We could have had a dreadful awkward silence till she'd finally say "Thank you." And pat me on the knee twice before turning her face away and grimacing. I was an idiot.

I parked in Quil's driveway and let myself in his house. I walked in; Quil's parent's were snuggled on the sofa, watching some action movie on the flat screen. Neither of them budged when I entered. It was nice to know I was wanted.

I rolled my eyes and walked down the narrow hall and turned to my left and again, into Quil's room.

He was sitting on his bed, the phone in his hand. "I was about to call you." He announced, tossing the phone aside. He didn't seem very excited about the news that he had to give.

"What's wrong, dude?" I asked, taking a step towards him. I wasn't sure if he needed comfort or not.

"No, it's nothing to really worry about..." he grimaced. He wasn't sure if that was the way to put it, "I, personally, rather not get involved. Collin smelt some vampire and Sam confirmed that it wasn't a Cullen—"

"Vampires are on the loose!" I shouted. How was that not a big deal? There were so many humans that could stumble upon a thirsty vampire. Amber could have stumbled upon a thirsty vampire. My worry was irrational. I knew she was safe and at home but a shudder rippled through my body anyways.

"Woh! Woh!" Quil got up and put his hands on my shoulder, "Let's not do anything rash. I told you no big deal. Nobody died yet and we don't think they mean us any harm. A few blood suckers probably just got lost on their way somewhere else. Calm down!" He shook me and I settled down.

"They're just lost?"

"Well they haven't hurt anyone. We're checking it out—well not me but the others."

'Why aren't you going?" I asked suspiciously than grinned, "Are you chicken? Afraid of a few blood suckers?"

He rolled his eyes, "Of course not. I just...rather be with Claire if there's anything..." He looked away seeming embarrassed for his lack of chivalry.

A month ago I might've laughed at him dropping out but now, I was silent. In a way, he was right. I'd rather be with Amber, keeping her safe instead of chasing some vampire that may or may not be dangerous. Part of me felt bad for abandoning my brothers for some broad. Amber was special though, she wasn't like the other girls.

"No, I understand..." I said.

"Oh!" he was surprised, "That's...weird." He eyed me suspiciously now.

I tried looking at him like he was crazy. My heart quickened with my nervousness and I cursed that he could hear the change. Quil didn't know I was in love. In fact, no one knew I was in love. I never thought of Amber when I was in my wolf form, I tried to stay focussed, so no one knew. I didn't want them knowing. It was no one's business but my own.

Worst of all, I didn't want them making fun of me. I always mocked love—well, imprints—and now I was just as whiped as the rest of them. The only thing that would be worse than them making fun of my feelings for Amber would be them undermining it—saying it wasn't love. That was the worse.

Quil grinned and I knew he knew, "You love her don't you?"

"Who?" I tried to act clueless. I wasn't sure if that would make me look more or less guilty.

"Don't who me. Amber, you love her." I could tell that he was going to laugh at me, so I denied it.

"What? Her? No, God no. She's my girlfriend and sure I care/i about her but love? That's a strong word." I stammered.

He chuckled, "Yeah, it is."

"Go to hell Quil. Seriously, just burn there."

Quil didn't stop laughing and I sighed. "Quil, just don't...tell people. I don't want people knowing. I mean, Amber doesn't even know so, let's not tell people."

I hoped he understood who I meant by "People". I didn't want the wolf pack knowing all my business.

Quil nodded, "Yeah, no problem." He was still laughing, "I think it's great you're in love—"

"Sshh!!" I hissed, "Don't say it out loud. Ever."

**u Amber's POV**

The next day, I decided to spend a few hours with Christina. We were just going to hang at her house and talk about girl stuff. I needed some advice about Embry too. I already knew what I was going to do about him but I wanted someone to agree with me.

Christina lived a few blocks away so I walked to her house and rang the doorbell. I usually didn't like going to Christina's house because her mother didn't like me but apparently her mother was out for the day. That was a relief.

"Amber!" Christina chirped and pulled me into a huge hug. She was so enthusiastic about everything—always smiling and very ditsy. "Come in! Let's go to my room!" She pulled my hand and practically ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door shut behind us.

"Check this out!" She squealed and jumped on her bed to get something on the other side. She got up with her cell phone in hand and flipped it open. She pressed button and showed me a text message from Steve.

Thanks for telling me 3 it said.

"Okay...What's this?" I asked confused that she was making a huge deal of this text message.

"Uh, duh," She pointed at the heart that consisted of 'less than 3' .

"Okay..."

"I think he likes me." She nodded and pretended to be disappointed by the fact.

"Christina, that's—" I wasn't in the mood to deal with Christina's wild imagination. Every time a guy looked at her funny she either thought he hated her or loved her. She was so sweet and naive. In the short time I'd known her, I considered her my little sister...even though she was a year older than me. "Okay, we'll get back to that later." I said taking a seat next to her on her bed, "I have something to ask you about."

"What's wrong?" Christina worried. Her face took a complete one eighty—from happy and chirpy to genuinely concerned.

"It's Embry—"

"Oh no! Did he break up with you?"

"No, well," I sighed, "Embry's friend just had sex with his girlfriend who've been dating the same length of time that we have—they're younger than we are—and now, well, I'm afraid Embry might think that changes things." I didn't mind if Christina knew my secrets but I didn't feel comfortable telling her my sisters secrets. I didn't even like thinking about Silver having sex. It still grossed me out. She was a baby!

"How?" She tilted her head to the side like a confused baby.

"Well, Embry's 20 and obviously not a virgin. What if he misses it?"

Christina pursed her lips and nodded, "Your right, he might cheat."

I grimaced. I had almost forgotten that possibility. I knew Embry; if he was done with me, he'd dump me, not cheat on me. I'd rather he dumped me than he'd cheat on me. That way, I'd still have my dignity and our relationship wouldn't be tainted. "He'd never cheat on me." I said.

"Still, you have to do something."

"I know."

We were both quiet for a few seconds. I looked at my hands on my lap and waited for her to give me a piece of advice, hopefully the solution that I'd thought of. This was a small town; I worried if what I was planning was whorish. In Montreal, girls did it all the time, it was no big deal. I had been dating Keegan for almost 9 months so of course I'd done it with him. I didn't mind it that much. It wasn't my favourite thing in the world but it was worth keeping my boyfriend at the time.

"Well," Christina finally spoke, "How about you give him a nice little handy-J, that should be good enough till you guys break-up or even have sex."

I was surprised by her directness. Those were our only options? Breaking up or having sex? That was positive. Christina and I always thought the same things sometimes and even though she'd said my thoughts aloud, I laughed.

"What's so funny?" Christina giggled.

"No, it's nothing, that's perfect, you're the best."

Christina beamed, "Thanks." she was proud to have helped and I was happy that she wouldn't think less of me. They even had a cute name for it which meant it was popular and well known, "Oh, and I so won't tell anyone." She promised.

"Oh, thanks,"

I had so much fun at Christina's house. We didn't do much. We just talked, watched TV, went on the computer and ate junk food. I had a good feeling about Christina. She was a nice girl and I felt as though she'd stick around for a long time.

Christina's mom was about to come home in an hour and I was anxious to get the hell out of there. For some reason, she didn't like me. She thought I was a slut—how nice of her. Bernadette Peters vibrated in my pocket and I answered Embry's phone call.

"You. Me. Movies. I've got tickets to the comedy of the year." Embry announced without saying hi.

I giggled, "I'd love to go with you."

Embry picked me up from Christina's house in his crappy, self made car. It was pouring rain at this point. My hair was completely soaked once I got to Embry. I shivered at the sudden warmth in his car.

"Salut, mon chum, tu m'as manqué énormément." I felt the sudden urge to speak French. I just told him that I missed him but he grimaced, not understanding a word I said. Sometimes I considered teaching Embry how to speak friend like what Silver had done with Seth but I liked being able to mutter something under my breath and be sure that he didn't understand. "Je te tien vraiment au cœur. " I murmured to him and was thankful he couldn't speak French. I liked saying sweet things to him without him knowing how much I really worshipped him.

"Quit speaking French, you freak me out when you do that." He grinned and pecked me on the lips. My heart stayed steady which surprised me. He was so amazing; it was overwhelming to know he was my boyfriend. I couldn't forget the fact that I might lose him. The thought almost made me physically sick. That was super weird.

**Chapter 13: **

**Embry's POV**

"Did you have fun with your girlfriend?" I asked in a suggestive tone. I wrapped my arm around Amber's shoulder.

She pushed me off and giggled. "Yeah, we practiced kissing for about an hour."

I laughed and took her hand. I wanted to hold on to her. I liked having her near me. She wrapped her arm around my waist and we walked in the same pace. I just showed my ticket to the guy at the front of the movie entrance and we entered. I was glad to see that the small theatre was practically empty except for the other five people in the room.

"L-let's sit at the front." Amber suggested. The stutter was so unlike her. The previews had already started, the lights were off so Amber didn't see me studying her. I wanted to ask her if she was okay but I figured if something was bothering her she would've told me. She was fine five seconds ago so she must've been fine now. If only women were that simple.

I didn't protest to sit in the most isolated part of the cinema even thought I knew that Amber hated sitting in the front row. We sat down and she leaned towards me to whisper in my ear.

"If this movie is so hot then why are we the only people here?" She teased nuzzling my neck.

"It's been in the theatres for a few weeks. Sue me."

Amber giggled and we watched the previews in silence for a few minutes. When the movie started, I made myself more comfortable in my seat. I had already seen the film with Quil a few weeks ago but I wanted to watch it again. Amber never really listened when I spoke to her so she most likely forgot that it was my second time watching the movie.

30 minutes into the movie, Amber sighed. She didn't say anything when I stared at her for three whole seconds so I went back to listening to the movie. She sighed again—more loudly.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"This movie is boring." She whispered back.

I frowned, "You just laughed five minutes ago."

"That was a chuckle." She corrected. She turned to grin evilly at me. Amber grabbed me by the chest and kissed me fiercely. My heart thumped uneasily in my chest. She had never been so enthusiastic before, especially in public.

"What's this?" I chuckled against her soft lips. Kissing her was so amazing and all the love I felt for her made it much more intense. The way she pulled my face towards her and her other hands ran down my chest, I knew that she wanted me. It wasn't love she felt for me, but she wanted me and that made me feel really special. She was so hot...

Her hand lowered to my knee and she started to rub my inner thigh. I disguised a moan as a low sigh.

Amber giggled and brought her lips to my throat. Her cool, soft lips sent shivers down my spine. I arched my neck to the side, giving her more room to kiss. Her hand ran up and down my thigh. I was enjoying this way too much to feel embarrassed of what was about to happen in my pants. My eyes had slid close and I tried to concentrate on my breathing so that it wouldn't come out all ragged.

When Amber's hands found its way to my groined, my first reaction was to jerk away slightly.

"Shh, it's okay, relax." She purred and I felt my body relax all on its own as if she'd put a spell on me. "Good..." she approved and proceeded kisses me and lightly rubbing my groin. When she added more pressure, the moan that had been building up in my throat came out in a little grunt. "Quiet Embry." She kissed my lips. Her hand lingered at my pants button and I froze when I thought I felt her undo it. I knew I wasn't hallucinating when I heard her pull down my zipper.

My hands untangled from her hair and stopped her hand, "Amber, what are you doing!" I hissed in a whisper.

Amber grinned at me, "Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm doing." She went back to my throat and I was on the verge of having a heart attack as she continued rubbing my crotch. Of course it wasn't the first time a girl had touched me this way but, again, the emotions I felt for Amber made everything much more intense. Amber had never even come close to suggesting anything remotely close to this—relations in a public place. I had already done something like this with a girl, I was sixteen and it was in her car, but that girl was kind of slutty and I didn't care about her. Amber was special.

"Amber stop." I gasped.

"What?" she asked incredulously, "Are you kidding me? What are you? Gay?" She was clearly offended by my reaction. It wasn't that I didn't want her to do this—I really wanted her to do this—I just didn't want it happening in a public place. That was kind of gross.

"Look, let's take this outside." I suggested, fixing my pants.

She frowned before picking up her purse and stomping towards the exit.

We stood outside of the movie room for a few seconds. Amber crossed her arms in front of her chest and tapped her foot, glaring, waiting for me to say something. I looked at her back, waiting for her to speak. She was the one who had explaining to do. I was still in shock. I might not have been able to talk even if I wanted to.

"Uh, can you explain what that was?" I finally say.

"I was trying to be intimate with my boyfriend." She answered harshly, "But I'm obviously unable to please a man. Thanks Embry, that's real nice. You know, all I do..." She started to nag and after a few seconds of her complaining without pausing to breathe, I spaced out. Her lips moved but I couldn't really pay attention to what she was saying. She'd said that she wanted to be intimate with me. A hand job hardly counted as being intimate. Or did it? It was funny that I'd actually turned down Amber; there must be a first for everything.

She'd asked me if I was gay, which was kind of mean. I wasn't gay, I just had class. I wasn't the kind of guy who gave it away at a public movie theatre, maybe in a nice car or a public bathroom...somewhere more private. That wouldn't have bothered me with other girls but not with Amber, she wasn't like the others.

"...I mean, I thought that's what you wanted but obviously I was stupid." She said. Her face was pink with either anger of embarrassment. I hadn't heard everything she said but I heard that. It was ridiculous—absolutely insane.

"What? Amber, no." I stopped her, "I do want you to do that...I mean, if that's what you want." I said thoughtfully, "What do you mean what I wanted?"

I was positive that the expression on Amber's face was one of embarrassment. She looked away, chewing on her lip, then looked up and gave me a soft, sheepish smile, "Look, Embry, I'm not stupid. I know you're a man and you have needs...I'm your girlfriend Embry." She inhaled deeply, "I want to stay your girlfriend. I don't expect you to abstain from everything sexually for the duration of our relationship."

"Wait, wait, the duration of our relationship?" I repeated, feeling the need to clean out my ears, "Amber, we're never going to have sex?"

She shrugged, "I don't see it happening any time soon. That's why I was doing that...so you wouldn't lose completely."

I was grimacing. Never? Ugh. That really sucked. I couldn't even reply to her last statement.

"Look, Embry, I'd rather you break up with me now then you cheat on me later. You cheat on me and I'll kill you." She threatened and smiled sweetly.

She was talking way too much, "Amber, what? Just shut up for a minute." I shook my head and didn't pay attention to her dropped jaw, "I'm not going to break up with you because you aren't giving me sex. I'll break up with you because you talk too much."

"Haha." She wasn't amused.

"And I don't want you doing anything you don't want to do. You mean more to me than that. If you don't want to touch me, then keep your and to yourself and above my waist. I'll still be your boyfriend." I was a little direct for my taste but Amber didn't seem to mind.

"You'd still be with me if...if I didn't give you a..." she was so confused.

"Amber, I'd stay if the furthest we get was first base."

"Embry," she said softly, "That's...so sweet."

"It's no big deal." I assured her.

"No," she closed the distance between us. We stood so close that I could feel the coolness of her body, "I, like, really love you."

I was frozen in shock and so was she. She backed away from me immediately and clamped her hand on her mouth. Passing back and forth, she ran her finger through her thick bronze hair.

"Oh my God. I can't believe I just said that." She was completely horrified with herself, "Embry, don't freak out. Oh god." She groaned, "You don't have to feel the same way. I swear, us Masson girls are just losing our minds. You must be so surprised."

"Amber, shut up, you're doing it again."

"You're mad, aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes and closed the distance between us again. I grabbed her face and forced her to look at me. Her eyes were so gorgeous. I had trouble concentrating while looking into them, "Amber, please, shut up and listen. I am mad."

She sighed.

"I'm mad that I didn't say it first." I kissed her fiercely and for the first time, I heard her heart go off track, "I've loved for so long, I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Are you kidding?"

"No, Amber Jean Masson, I'm freaking in love with you."

"Huh, weird."

"What?"

"I kind of...sort of, think I've fallen in love with you. Weird."

"Not as weird as how I know that I'm kind of, sort of, just a little in love with you."

"Copyright Amber Masson."

I chuckled and crushed her lips with mine. This was by far, the best kiss we'd ever had, ever. I held her face close to mine and she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me closer to her. I was in love with that moment. I'd felt something like it before but it was different from the other time too. I never wanted to let her go, that was something I'd experienced often when we kissed like this but this time, I knew—not hoped but knew—that Amber wanted me to stay and that she, too, didn't want to let go.

**Chapter 14: Perfection **

**Amber's POV**

As the months passed, my life and the people around me's lives changed. I found out that Forks really was my home, I had friends and reasons to stay here. Silver also found more and more reason's to love it here. In addition to a boyfriend, she found a very sexy, very hot in a makes-your-knees-weak kind of way, BFF. He literally fell out from the sky. With a face like that, he was probably an angel.

His name was exotic. One I couldn't forget even if I wanted. Nahuel. This guy was gorgeous. He had rich, light brown coloured skin, his eyes were lighter which always looked nice on dark skinned guys, he was tall and muscular and had a barely audible accent. His capability to speak Spanish made all the girls moan. He was delicious and Silver was so lucky that he had a crush on her. She was spending allot time with him. Her time was split in between spending time with Seth and Nahuel. She had two boyfriends practically. Lucky. But then she stopped hanging out with Nahuel and he stopped coming over. That was weird.

That was Silver's life though, as for mine, it was going amazing. I was so stupid before, to think that being in like was so much better than being in love. That was ridiculous! Being in love was great! Having someone being in love with you was great! I loved how Embry looked at me, how he cherished every time we kissed or hugged or spent time together. There was never a day that passed that I didn't think of Embry. Every morning, after brushing my teeth and washing my face, straightening my hairs on some occasions, I looked forward to Embry's morning texts that consisted of random things like: Raining chocolate coated bagels when he was telling me a dream he'd just had. Sometimes he texted his breakfast...but most of the time, he asked me if I slept well and had good dreams. We usually spoke on the phone till late and he'd wish me: sweet dreams without the monsters and with plenty of Reese cups. He was so sweet.

We tried to keep our affection to a minimum around people, especially Silver and Seth who would have loved to say "I told you so." It was hard to admit to ourselves that Seth and Silver were, in fact not "gay" as a couple at all. They were just in love and had problems keeping their hands off each other. Now that I was in love, I understood and thought it was cute. As for the gay nicknames. It was bound to happen one day or the other, they were inevitable. Embry wasn't only Embry, he was Em and Emby—I know gay—and I wasn't just Amber to him; I was Am and Amby (SO GAY!). As gay as we were becoming, we were really happy. We'd been dating for nearly six months and we were happy. In a great kind of way, we were having a gay old time.

In some way, it was kind of like I'd found my other half. Embry was kind of like my soul mate. He wasn't just a hot guy I liked to make-out with. He was the person I called when I heard hilarious rumours, the person who held me when I cried over a stupid movie, he was my best friend. I knew that we were young and we wouldn't be girlfriend and boyfriend forever—I could hope though—but Embry was going to be a friend who stuck around. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

At the moment though, he was just my boyfriend. When he kissed me like this, it was impossible to put him in the same category as Cynthia or Christina. He kissed me with so much intensity that my heart hammered against my ribs. It was so obvious that he wanted me. I already knew I was hot but it was awesome when he reminded me by kissing me this way.

He ended up on his back causing me to regain control. I gave his lips a break, he was panting, his chest rising and falling beneath my hand. I started kissing his neck and pecked my way to right below his ear and began sucking. Embry didn't notice me taking my revenge. I pulled away to see my master piece, his russet neck was slightly pink where I'd been sucking. When I blinked, his skin was russet again. I frowned and sucked even harder on his throat. I grazed his skin with my teeth trying desperately to leave a bruise.

"Jeez, Embry, why won't you bruise?" I complained. I started gnawing at his throat while sucking but every time I pulled away there was nothing but a very faint, pink blemish, "Come on!"

"What are you doing?" Embry laughed.

"I'm trying to get back at you for that hickey you gave me last week, you A-hole, but it's not working."

He grinned, "Don't give me a hickey," he said before sitting up to kiss me again. "You don't do it right." He whispered and started kissing down my throat, "Let me show you..."

I sighed and my eyes closed. I almost let myself fall back and relax but I remembered how close Silver came to seeing the previous hickey that had hardly even healed yet. "No!" I shoved his chest and he backed off. "No more hickeys." I wiped my neck, "They're gross."

He chuckled, "I don't believe you think that." He patronized.

I rolled my eyes, "Well it looks nasty." I retorted remembering the dark purple bruise between my throat and my shoulder. I had worn a t-shirt in gym class to cover it up.

Embry grimaced, "I went overboard that time." He admitted.

"You think?"

"You liked it though. I know you, Amby."

I smiled. He was so cute, and he did know me. He knew me more than anyone else did. "I love you, Em."

"Love you, too, chica."

I giggled again. Embry always made me laugh. That was one of the things I loved most about him. I kissed his lips, they were such a happy place. He was always smiling. Well, he always smiled when he was around me.

Embry went home but we made plans to hang out tomorrow. We hadn't seen each other for a few days because of the holidays. There was Christmas, then Boxing Day—the Americans call it Black Friday—where I went shopping with my girlfriends. So tomorrow we were going to spend the day together. We would eat at a McDonalds and talk, just be together.

The next morning, I woke up and went upstairs to eat before getting dressed.

Silver was sitting on the sofa listening to some sad Taylor Swift song on her laptop. She sniffled and whipped a tear off her face.

"Walla, you're not crying because a stupid Taylor Swift song?" I demanded incredulously. I didn't understand why people got so obsessed with Taylor Swift! She was a freaking country singer! Ick. Silver was so gay.

Silver laughed nervously, "Yeah, I guess I am." She turned her face away from me and pulled her thick blond hair over her shoulder creating a curtain between us.

"Silver, are you okay?" I asked as I paid closer attention to the song. It was basically talking about how hard it was to live without someone but also that you have to go on...

"Yeah, I'm fine...I just miss him..."

I knew she couldn't be talking about Seth, she had just seen him yesterday so I didn't take very long to summarize that she was talking about Nahuel. "Then why don't you call him? Ask him to come over?"

"I can't do that."

"Why not? Is Seth telling you not to talk to him?" I demanded. "He better not be pushing you around."

"No, Amber, it's—" she sighed, "Never mind, I shouldn't have said anything. Are you hungry?" she shut her laptop without stopping the song and I wondered if that would damage the computer, "I'll make crêpes." She left her laptop on the sofa and walked passed me to the kitchen. I was going to ask her what was up with her but I figured she'd mention it when she wanted. If she was in a bad mood, I didn't want to make it worst by irritating her. She probably just needed her daily dose of Clearwater. Once that kid came over, she'd be happy and chirpy.

That disturbed me so intensely that it caused me pain to think of how gruesome it would be when they eventually broke up. I would have done anything to prevent that from ever happening.

Silver made us crêpes and Embry came over after I was done doing the dishes. I scolded him for a few minutes for being late then picked up my purse and jacket before heading out. Of course I asked Silver if she wanted me to stay then reluctantly asked her if she wished to join us and she turned me down on both accounts. With a sigh, I left my sister and hopped into Embry's car.

"Maybe I should stay with her." I suggested to Embry.

"Aw, but I drove all the way here, why couldn't you say that before I came over." He complained.

"You're right." I nodded staring at my house door. I expected Silver to come out looking for me. If she did, I would stay with her. She didn't, "Let's go."

Embry did as I said and we drove to McDonalds for lunch. We had both agreed that we were full from Silver's breakfast so we went for a little walk instead. It was nice outside today. It wasn't beautiful but I wasn't freezing either. The snow on the sidewalk and on the street had taken a disgusting brownish grey colour from tires and dirty shoes running over it repetitively. Silver and I used to call it slush. We love stepping in it—the way it squished beneath our winter boots was a satisfying feeling. Then one day a bus drove through a huge puddle of slush, soaking us with nasty, lumpy brown snow. Now, we didn't love dirty snow that much.

We took a short walk and talked about random things. He spoke of work and I spoke of school. We had to start applying for college next month and we discussed trying out for the same colleges and keep our fingers crossed on getting in the same schools. I didn't know what I wanted to do about college. Last year, I had everything set up for me, I was going to go to Dawson College in Montréal, then go to McGill University or maybe Concordia but now, as much as I hated to admit it, I had a life here. Not only Emby, but my friends and I couldn't just abandon Silver and my mother and fly back to Montréal for school. I had to admit to myself that in the last 6 months, I had changed drastically. My Montréal friends had stopped calling, they abandoned me. Now I had real friends, people I wanted to grow up with and have in my future. I had sort of found my home.

After our short walk, we went back to McDonalds and ate. Embry had two Big Macs, a large fry, a large soda and 3 apple pies. I shook my head in disapproval. He was going to die of a heart attack one day. I was happy with my Big Mac combo and a McFlurry for later. Embry was the only guy who'd ever seen me eat like myself. I added ketchup to my burger and didn't feel embarrassed when it started to drip all over the place. That was the beauty of being friends with your boyfriend.

"Is it okay if we drop by Jacob's house? I have to get something." Embry asked while wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"You're driving; you don't have to ask me." I giggled and rolled my eyes. We left McDonalds after I finished my McFlurry. Embry didn't want me eating nanything in his car. What was with guys and their cars? I didn't protest, he had worked pretty hard on that thing.

The reason he had to go to Jacob's house was juvenile. He had to borrow some stupid videogame to put in his new PS3 or Nintento Wii or something like that. I stopped caring.

We went to Embry's house afterwards. His mom wasn't there, she never really was. I'd only met her a few times but Embry loved her dispited her absence. She was out working and he looked up to her for that. I always thought that was sweet.

I sat on the sofa in his small basement as Embry reinstalled the VCR and put in my favourite Christmas movie: How the Grinch stole Christmas starring a famous Canadian actor and funny man Jim Carrey. I watched Embry turn on the TV to reveal the blue screen then press play. I loved how perfect this simple day was. I loved how all we did was take a short walk and ate McDonalds and I still had so much fun. This day was perfection. Embry was perfection.

He came on the sofa and pulled me closer to him. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. I couldn't believe how much I was in love with him. I never thought this could happen to me. I wasn't the kind of girl who fell in love with anyone. Guys fell in love with me. I had broken too many hearts in the short period of time I had been alive. I didn't care about those guys though, I cared for Embry. I always wanted to be with him, he made me laugh when I was sad, he was the highlight of my day. I was so freaking in love.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too." He kissed my forehead and hugged my closer to his side.

I don't know where the thought came from, but it popped into my mind out of nowhere. It felt so right to be there in Embry's arms, I wanted it to be more than what it was. I looked up at Embry and surprised him by kissing his lips. I felt his mouth curl up into a smile.

"I thought we were actually watching this movie." He chuckled and cupped my face, "But this is a much better idea." His fingers burnt the skin on the back of my neck.

I pulled his hands away from my head and twined our fingers together. I looked into his eyes and rethought everything. I looked at his face—the face I was in love with—and studied it.

Embry's expression was confused and he looked so cute when he was confused. He also looked cute when he was mad and when he thought something was really funny. To me, he was the cutest guy in the world. Of course I knew that after Embry, I was going to have plenty of other boyfriends but at the moment, I only saw myself with Embry. I couldn't imagine a person I would be more synched to. I couldn't think of a better first.

"Embry, I'm ready."

His eyes widened, "Ready?" he repeated as if he hadn't understood but I knew he did. His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "Ready for what?"

I smiled at him. Pulling his face to mine, I kissed him passionately, running my fingers through his cropped hair. I pulled him away and his breathing was already uneven, "I'm ready." I repeated.

He couldn't speak when he was 100% sure what I meant.

**If y'all didn't get it, the song Silver was listening to was Breathe by Taylor Swift. It's one of my favourite songs for the moment and I feel like it applies well to this story...**

**Chapter 15: Screwed**

**Amber's POV**

"Are you serious Amber? This isn't funny. Don't screw with me here." Embry words came out all jumbled up and piled on top of each other. He was speaking in a rush. Embry had grabbed both my shoulders to force me to face him.

I smiled warmly. His dorkiness was making this a little easier but my heart still raced and I was nervous as hell. I just nodded, "Mm hm." I squeaked. His hands were heating up on my shoulders and I tensed up. He leaned forward to kiss me softly and my shoulders relaxed. I pulled his hands off my shoulders and kept held them as I got off the sofa, "Let's go to your room." I suggested.

Embry smiled and got up. We held hands as we walked up the few steps and headed for his room. I couldn't get myself to settle down. I knew I wanted to do this. I knew I loved Embry but my nerves were really ruining this for me. I was being ridiculous. People had sex all the time...but what Embry and I were going to do was way more than just sex. I loved him...

My heart stuttered when we reached the door frame of his bedroom.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Embry asked again. He looked so vulnerable. He was scared too.

I placed my hand on his face, "I love you." I replied. Neither of us notice that I wasn't really answering his question.I could do this! I hissed at myself. I had to keep in mind that this was Embry. Not to mention Silver had done this before. I fought back the urge to grimace. This wasn't about her. But she had done this before and everything she could do I could do better—I was older.

We kissed again.

"My heart is beating so fast." Embry uttered and took my hand to place it on his chest. I felt it beating under my palm. It was going pretty fast.

"Me too." I admitted and took his hand to place it on my own chest. Our hands were stretched out to each other feeling our hearts. It was a weird feeling. I could feel his heart beat just as much as I could feel my own. I looked up into his eyes. His face was soft but serious. He knelt forward to kiss me. He got a bit too passionate because he pushed me into the door frame and I gasped in pain. My head had hit the wall. "Ow!" I complained grabbing the back of my head.

"I'm sorry!" Embry apologized automatically. He looked so embarrassed, "Sorry, I'm really nervous and...it's been a while."

"I know it has." I agreed and took his hand to lead him to his bed. Then we began kissing again. Neither of us suggested anything romantic; we didn't dim the lights or light a candle or turn on music or anything like that. We just...did it...

I didn't count how much time past. I bit down on my lip so hard I thought I tasted blood. I couldn't think straight. The pain was too potent and I had to concentrate on not screaming—on not crying. I held my breath and waited for him to finish. There was nothing else to do, this was how it was going to be for me. My first time wasn't going to be an enjoyable one. Just because I wasn't having fun it didn't mean I had to ruin it for Embry. I wanted him to finish. I wanted him out and I never wanted him to come back in. I never wanted anyone to come back in.

Finally, Embry just collapse. I yelped at the pain of his grand finally.

It was over. He was done. I wasn't a virgin anymore.

I groaned when he got off of me. I couldn't get my body to relax. I stiffly turned my back on Embry and winced as I attempted to close my legs. I heard the sheets ruffled then I was covered by a thick comforter. I wrapped it around myself and winced at the pain in my groin. Was this normal? Was all this pain normal?

I felt so cold. I tried to wrap the cover around me more thoroughly but too much movement caused me pain. I gasped.

Embry let his hot finger trail from my neck to my lower back. I shivered and he sighed. He covered me up and tucked me in.

I would have thanked him but I wasn't able to breathe. My throat hurt from the giant lump. It was as if I had dry swallowed a big pill. I was so upset.—so heartbroken. I had looked forward to this. I remembered that, right before things really started, I thought that I wanted it to last forever. Thing had gone terribly. Worst than I ever thought imaginable. And Embry's size didn't help. Maybe if he was smaller it wouldn't have hurt so much. I was sure it was just that. Just the physical things. There wasn't anything wrong with our emotional relationship. We were in love and happy in that sense. Apparently love wasn't all you needed for good sex—or at least bearable sex.

Embry was extremely quiet next to me. It was almost as though I were alone. I wanted to hear him speak. It would've erased the thought of his grunting and moaning, I wanted to forget all that. I doubted there was anything he could say to make me feel better but the effort would have made a huge difference.

He never spoke so neither did I. I cleared my mind and went completely blank. I didn't think.

I couldn't sleep though. It was impossible. I really felt like I was suffocating. I sat up and started breathing. I felt Embry's eyes on my naked back. "I—I have to go home." I said collecting my clothes from off the floor. I had to get out of here. I couldn't breathe with him here—staring at me. I was getting dressed in a rush.

"Oh, uh," Embry seemed shocked by my eagerness to leave.

I turned my head to the side but couldn't bring myself to look at him completely, "The house is a mess. I can't believe I left it like that..." I lied. My house was spotless. I never left the house dirty. Embry knew that too but he didn't call me out on my lie and I was grateful.

"Okay, I'll...drive you then."

We both got dress, our backs turned to each other. I wondered if he was disgusted with me as I was disgusted with myself. I had ruined everything. I wondered why this had to happen. Why couldn't this had gone perfectly like everything did with Embry? I also wondered how much time it would take me to be strong enough to look in eyes again.

I kept my eye on my ground when we walked out into the rain. I concentrated on my fingers when we were in his car. Embry wasn't talking either. Why was that? I wanted to peek at him but I couldn't. I couldn't describe how I felt when we reached my house. Relief definitely wasn't the word for it. I opened the car door and stepped out.

"Thanks," I mumbled, "I'll, uh," all my words got caught in my throat.

"Call me?" Embry's voice sounded hopeful.

"Sure." I grumbled and shut the door. I went up the stairs two steps at a time and unlocked my front door with shaky hands. When the door opened, I went inside and tried to breathe. What had I done? This was supposed to be a good thing—me sleeping with Embry was supposed to be a good thing. It didn't feel that way at all. I felt vulnerable and I was still hurting.

What had I done?

I started to sob. I shouldn't have done that. I cried for my lost virginity. I cried for how unsatisfying it was. I cried for Embry and cried and cried...

**Chapter 16: California**

**Embry's POV**

Amber was completely silent as I drove her back home, which was really unlike her. My face was on fire, I was really embarrassed of what I had just done. I tried not to think about it.

I reached her house and she got out of the car before I could even put it in park. She stepped out into the rain and stood next to the open door. She seemed almost dead and didn't seem to care what the next word that would come out of her mouth was going to be.

"Thanks," she finally mumbled, "I'll, uh," she didn't look up at me as she froze through her sentence. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

"Call me?" I pleaded. I was begging her for this. I needed her to not be angry with me.

"Sure." She slammed the car door shut. She wasn't going to call me. I was sure of that.

She practically ran up the steps and slammed her house door shut.

I winced.

My heart was pounding inside my chest. What kind of monster was I? What had I done? The fact that she had offered to give herself to me didn't matter. I ruined everything. I destroyed us. I destroyed Embry and Amber. We could have been happy, we could have gone to college together...we could have done so much, but I had taken advantage of her. She was vulnerable and I should have seen that. I was stupid and this was my entire fault.

I was able to hear Amber sobbing from inside her house and I had to hold back sobs of my own. I drove out of the driveway and out of town. I was gripping the weal so tightly I was happy that I had enough self-control to not rip the whole thing off. I wasn't in very good shape to be driving a car. I was hardly able to stay human.

I was seeing heat. All I saw was red and I knew that I was about to lose it. I found a parking lot—I wasn't sure of what—and parked my car there. I was enraged but fought to stay rational. I was grateful that I was near the woods. I ran into them and started breathing deeply. I tried to stay calm but it wasn't easy.

I ripped off my shirt instead of pulling it over my head like I wanted. I cursed under my breath and really concentrated on calming down as I undressed and tied my jeans to my ankle. It wasn't practical to have these giant pants wrapped around my legs but I had to remind myself that walking around naked was illegal. At the time I couldn't care less what was legal or not but I was trying to be rational.

I should've been more rational with Amber. Yes, I loved her and because of that my body yearned for her so badly that it almost caused me pain but that was no excuse for what I did. She had been so beautiful at first. Everything about her was nearly perfect. I was so thrilled that I ignored how her body would tense up every time I touched her in a new place. I was too _stupid _to notice that she was wincing in pain and I was too _selfish _to have pulled away even though she asked me not to. She was being selfless and I should have done the same!

It was inevitable that I finally exploded. I wasn't relieved that I didn't hear my jean tear. I didn't care about my jeans. I didn't care about anything. I began to run. I didn't know what direction I was running and I didn't care. I just had to stop feeling all this pain and guilt.

I was alone in my head at first and I cherished that for the time it lasted. I remembered when Jacob had been going through something similar to this a few years ago—when Bella had chosen Edward over him. What had he done to stop the pain? I was pretty sure it had something to do with my wolf instincts. I had to stop thinking human. I wanted to not feel sad for just a few hours and humanity wasn't keeping me sane.

I had been running none stop for several hours when I felt another presence in my head. Of course it was Jacob and he was surprised to see—not literally—me here.

_Hey Embry!_ He was chipper at first until he tasted my glum mood. He was weary then, _What's wrong?_ he asked cautiously.

_Nothing, _I grumbled. I really didn't want to talk about it. This was by far embarrassing but I didn't want him prodding me to get it so I let my mind skim back to the painful memories skipping the graphic details as well as I could.

Jacob was in shock momentarily. He tried to think of something to say to cheer me up but he couldn't think of anything. _Sorry, man. That really sucks._

_I know it sucks. _I had to fight back the need to wail again. Being a wolf didn't take away all the pain. It just made it a little more bearable. That didn't stop it from being _unbearable _though. I still couldn't stand the aching in my chest and the shame in the pit of my stomach. The shame made it all the more worse.

Jacob was quiet and tried not to think to hard about my business. He was embarrassed to be in my head at such an inappropriate time and felt out of place. _Well, I don't really have to be in my wolf form so…I'm going to give you some privacy._

_Thanks, _I muttered and went back to counting trees and smelling the air around me. There weren't many critters for me to listen to—the bears were hibernating.

I heard my phone ringing but didn't bother answering. There wasn't one I wanted to talk to. I knew it wasn't Amber so I didn't bother checking if it was. I wasn't going to get my hopes up so they could crumble else like everything had.

I ran for so long the sun probably rose and fell a few times. I didn't care about my surroundings. I had finally stopped feeling bad. Sure, I had screwed it up with Amber but things were going to work out. We were going to have a painfully humiliating conversation about my performance and we were going to fix this. I wasn't going to let us go down without a fight. I knew that she might dump me. I really was awful. I was so nervous and she was so beautiful and I wanted to be good with her. I wanted it so much that I couldn't get anything right. I wasn't able to focus and that threw me off. Maybe if Amber was a girl I didn't care about I would've been better. I knew that I would've been better if it was just one of the girls I had gone to high school with. I wouldn't have been so nervous and clumsy…

I was going to make things better with me and Amber. I owed us that much.

I stopped running when I heard civilisation nearby. I could hear people talking and laughing. I phased back into my human form and pulled on my pants. They were kind of ripped in the knees and had allot on mud and water stains on it. Now I cared that I had ripped my shirt.

With a sigh, I started walking toward the exit of the forest. I was really relieved when I recalled that I hadn't tossed my sneakers aside. I frowned when I noticed just how hot it was outside. We were in early January yet it was actually hot outside.

I stepped out of the trees and squinted at the bright sunlight that caught me by surprise. What was the sun doing here? I tried to remember the last time I saw this much sunlight and it went back to the summer time. I stepped right onto a side walk and nearly bumped into an old lady when my eyes finally adjusted.

The old lady gave me a dirty look before continuing her stroll down…I didn't know where I was. I looked up for street signs in hopes for a hint of where the hell I was but I had never seen of heard of any of these streets. Half of me wanted to turn back and head home but my other half was curious to where I really was. It seemed like I was near a shopping central…that was new to me.

I started walking down the street and looking around me like a confused tourist. There were so many stores and tall buildings. They all looked new and in shape. The pavement was actually dry. Where ever I was, it hadn't rained the day before. That was kind of cool.

"Ugh, what the hell?" A blond girl muttered giving me a dirty look. Her arm was hooked to another teenage girl who was staring and giggling.

"Get a job cutie." The other teenage girl said and they both bursted into giggles as they walked right past me on the narrow side.

I was confused and disoriented. I watched the two girls go into a building that I presumed was some teen clothes store. That's when I remembered that I was half naked and roaming the streets of some unknown country. Instead of turning back into the woods like a normal person, I proceeded with my wandering. I was definitely at some kind of shopping area. I walked passed allot of girl stores and decided I definitely wanted to buy Amber something nice. She really deserved something. But first thing was first, I really needed some clothes.

This place was teenage central. I was practically amongst my own people. I noticed a cute brunette looking at me. She was about to walk past me. Since she'd noticed me in a non-creeped out way I decided she would be the one I'd speak to.

"Excuse me miss?" I said to her, "Can you tell me—this is a weird question—what state were in?" I was really embarrassed of asking this question but it was either this or go back home and face the world empty handed.

The girl raised an eyebrow and looked at me up and down, "Rough night?"She chuckled.

I didn't care for her joke. I just waited for her to answer my question so I could buy myself a shirt and buy Amber a bracelet or something.

"Only the best state in the US! California!" She crowed. She started to laughed and waited for me to join. Usually I would've appreciated a beautiful girl flirting with me but I wasn't really myself at the time and her jokes weren't funny to me. Had she said Californian? How long had I been running? What day was it? How much trouble was I going to be in when I got home? I knew for a fact that my mother was going to murder me.

The brunette patted my shoulder playfully. I could tell that she was harassing me the way her hand lingered on my bicep.

"Thank you." I smiled and placed my hand on hers to remove it from my shoulder. This girl was making me uncomfortable and I had things to do.

"So, do you have any plans later?"

"Yeah, I was actually hoping to buy a gift for my girlfriend." I informed her.

Her expression didn't falter. She smiled, shrugged and went on her way.

I did the same, heading in the other direction. I had three things to do:

One. I needed a new shirt. I couldn't walk around in sunny California with dirty ripped jeans and no shirt. I was bound to be arrested sooner or later for public nudity. Was I even aloud to be shirtless in a place like this?

Two. I had to find Amber a decent piece of jewellery or at least a meaningful gift. I hadn't really gotten her a Christmas gift so this was crucial. Nothing was more important than my third task. I had to remember that this was the most important.

Thirdly. I _had _ to make it up to Amber. I _had _to get her back.

**A/N: It's kind of obvious, but just want to say: I've never been to California. Always wanted to go but the furthest I've been from Québec is…well Jamaica but other than that…well New York, but other than that I've never been very far…sigh.**


	2. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: My meaning**

**Embry's POV.**

The sun was still high in the sky as I got started on my day. I had clean clothes on my back so that was one less worry on my list. Of course I still had my broken heart, my girlfriends broken heart, her lost virginity and my broken ego. My list of problems was still large and growing but I had to stay focused. They were all bounded. Once I fixed things with Amber, everything else would fall into place.

The real dilemmas were really what was I supposed to get her. I had my heart set on getting her a ruby bracelet. I recalled her complaining about not having much bracelets and she'd also know that I loved and listened to her. I knew for a fact that ruby was her birth stone. The second dilemma was whether she would accept my apology. I was going to beg her to take me back.

Destiny must have wanted us to be together because I ended up right in front of a jewellery store. I didn't hesitate to enter it. I underestimated the price of a ruby bracelet. If it would put a smile on Amber's face than the sky was my limit…On second thought, I wanted to start college in the fall so 150$ was my limit.

The light in the Kay's jewellery store made me squint. Glass counters were on all four corner of the store with shinny, expensive rings inside. I went to the nearest counter and looked through the glass. I mostly saw diamond rings. I frowned. I had a feeling Amber would get the wrong impression if I got her a diamond ring. I wanted to get her back but I didn't want to _marry_ her.

I walked to the far end of the store towards the platinum blond with her back turned to me behind the counter. I hoped she could help me find something in my price range.

"Excuse me, Miss?" I said.

The beautiful blond turned around with a bright smile on her face. She was a natural sells person I could tell. "Hello, Sir, how may I help you?"

"Hi, um, I was hoping to find a nice ruby bracelet."

"Ruby! How nice! Come here." She stayed on her side of the counter but walked towards the left side of the store. Behind these glasses were many different ruby jewellery. There were so many shimmering colours I was sure that this would be like a candy store to Amber. I wished I could bring her the whole store. If I were a millionaire I would buy her everything and she would take me back. I was sure of that.

"Okay, we have some _gorgeous _ruby bracelets over here." She said. She was right. The bracelets were all beautiful. I was hardly able to choose which one Amber would like the most. I hoped that this pretty blond here—her name was Janette—could help me. "Is there a special occasion? Birthday? Anniversary?"

I laughed nervously. I didn't want to freak her out by saying _bad performance in the sac,_ "Apology, I guess, kind of screwed it up with my…" I trailed off, not feeling comfortable confiding to this sales lady. She looked way too interested in my personal life.

She laughed to loosen my tension, "They have greeting cards for that. A gold bracelet; that's taking a step forward, definitely."

Gold. That sounded a bit expensive. I felt myself blush, "Um, I was actually hoping something that wasn't _too _expensive…" I said, "Unless you think that'll ruin my chances of getting her back." I added quickly. I didn't want the blond girl to think I was cheap or anything.

"Of course not, hun. It's the thought that counts." She smiled reassuringly and looked down at the ruby bracelets and rings through the glass. "I'm going to be honest with you, hun, ruby rings are cheaper than bracelets..."

"No rings." I cut her off, "I don't want her getting the wrong impression…"

Her eyes widened, "Okay…then a bracelet." She went back to observing the bracelets.

A particular one caught my eyes. It was mostly because of the heart shape pendant bejewelled with rubies, "What that one?" I asked pointing at it.

She squinted her eyes to see what I was referring to then smiled, "Oh, that's a nice one. It's sterling silver and those are lab-created rubies. The heart is also made out of silver and is adorned with the lab-created rubies. You can also see that the toggle clasp is decorated with the same ruby." She described the chain bracelet and my heart thudded at the thought of Amber's face if I gave her this…

"I want it." I said without thinking.

"The price is 159.99," She informed, "May I suggest the matching earrings?"

"The bracelets fine, thank you." I assured her with a smile.

She smiled back at me and started patting her pants in search for something. She frowned, "Oh, hold on a minute." She turned her back on me, "Laurence!" she called. She waited a few seconds before yelling, "Laurence!"

"What?!" screamed another woman's voice. Her voice was coming from the open door Janette had been in front of when I first came in.

"I don't have the key for the rubies. Do you have it?"

"I don't know." The girl named Laurence replied.

Janette waited, expecting Laurence to say something else but she didn't. Janette sighed, "Could you check?" she yelled, sounding annoyed.

"I'm eating." She complained.

I snickered. This Laurence character was funny. I actually hoped she'd come out so I could tell her she gave me a good laugh. She had a nice voice.

"Laurence, for the love of God, I have a customer and he wants to buy a bracelet."

Laurence sighed loudly but Janette couldn't hear that. She made allot of noise to show her annoyance and there was the sound of remerging, "I have it." Laurence announced and stepped out the back room. She was looking down at the keys as she walked towards Janette and handed them to her.

Her head turned to face me and my entire body froze. I was frozen where I was, just staring at this beautiful woman. I might have been frozen but I was warm inside. Heat and warmth filled my heart and radiated to the rest of my body. I stared at her smooth caramel coloured skin, the soft contours of her face and parted lips from the same shock I was also going through.

The reason I was here came to me. Not only why I was in sunny California but why was I born? Why did I even exist? Why did I choose this particular store to come in? Amber was a blip in the back of my mind. All the pain I had felt for hurting her wasn't healed but completely vanished. My heart didn't feel whole, but bigger, better, stronger. I didn't deny why these reasons came to me. I couldn't deny that Laurence was standing in front of me. I couldn't deny that my reason was standing just a few feet from me.

My world had completely changed. I had this whole galaxy to live for. Several gravitational polls. My brave mother and my pack, my dreams to go to college and Amber; I was pulled away from all those polls and was dragged into a more legit poll. It was a million times stronger than all my other meanings. It was the sales girl standing in front of me.

Laurence.

Her maroon eyes were staring right back at me. They seemed to shimmer with so much emotion. I'd never seen anything like them. Maroon eyes—brownish-red. She was astounding.

In my chest, my heart had stopped beating, just to be replaced by a much faster and stronger rhythm. I wasn't scared when my heart stopped beating. I knew I wasn't going to die after finding my meaning.


	3. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Laurence**

**Embry's POV**

"I—I'll take it from here. Thanks Janette." Laurence waved Janette away but didn't take her eyes off me. I didn't pay attention to the blond girl leaving the room. I was too mesmerized by the person standing in front of me. She really was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her skin was the richest shade of caramel brown I had ever seen. Her hair was straight and jet black except for the violet streak in her bang.

Janette eventually left and I was alone with Laurence. My imprint. I couldn't feel rueful about it. Not yet anyways. Not so soon after meeting her for the first time. I was excited to learn about her. I couldn't wait to spend more time with her.

Laurence smiled and looked down shyly to get the bracelet out of the glass counter. Her eye lashes were so long, it astounded me. They weren't clumped up and separated like it usually was when girls wore mascara, her eye lashes were naturally long.

"You want this one?" she asked, sticking her hand in the counter and touching the silver and ruby bracelet.

I looked down at the bracelet I was planning on buying. I nodded; I didn't want to look stupid in front of this timeless beauty.

"Okay, then," she opened a drawer that I couldn't see and pulled out a blue velvet box. I watched her every move. I was so fascinated by the grace she did everything. Her nail were very short, she was a nail bitter. That was kind of cute. Amber had cut the habit of biting her nail years ago. The comparison came naturally to me. I had made the connection but I wasn't thinking about Amber at all. I couldn't even remember why I was in this jewellery store.

Laurence kept looking up at me while she walked to the cash register. I paid for the bracelet on interact. It was a miracle that I hadn't lost my wallet on the run here. I shoved the jewellery box in my pocket, not really caring about it, and paid closer attention to Laurence.

I was glad to find that she was actually staring at me. She blinked quickly and looked away when we locked eyes but I saw her staring.

"Hi." I said, "I'm Embry…Call."

"Call who?" she asked, confusion in her tone.

I laughed nervously and blushed. "No, that's my name…Embry Call."

"Embry." She repeated, "That's a nice name. It's so unique…though I feel like I've heard it before…" she grinned.

I chuckled, feeling more heat rise to my face. I tried to remember the last time I'd blushed so uncontrollably and froze momentarily. Amber was the last person to make me blush this much. I was so embarrassed of everything I was doing when we were…getting intimate. The thought of Amber brought a flood of guilt into me and I turned around. I was going to leave this all behind.

I couldn't let this happen. Sure, I had imprinted but that didn't mean I had to drop everything. Yeah, I'd looked into the most beautiful eyes in the world and my heart was already aching with the thought of never seeing then again but I couldn't stay. I was in California—miles away from my friends and my family and my girlfriend whom I loved.

I felt hundreds of pounds heavier but I took large steps towards the exit. I wasn't going to let this stupid imprint ruin everything I worked so hard for. I was almost at the exit. My hand was inches away from the handle then I was distracted.

"As the World turns, right?" Laurence guessed.

My head whipped around to look at her. I was surprised that she actually knew what soap my name came from. I stared at her wide eyed and she grinned. She was happy to have caught my attention. That grin made my knees feel weak but I couldn't help grinning too.

"Yeah," I said grinning sheepishly, "My mom was kind of obsessed." I hadn't noticed that I was actually walking towards her again. "Lucky me."

She moved the counter so that it wouldn't be between us and nodded, "You are. She could've named you Casey."

"Who's Casey?"

Laurence giggled and my heart squeezed. I'd never heard such an adorable sound. Amber was a giggler. Her giggles were loud and made me want to laugh at its hyena-like characteristics. _Laurence's _giggle was a whole different thing. Her giggling didn't make me laugh, it made me want to pull out a recorder so I could listen to it over and over, "Casey was a disgusting teenager that lied to his girlfriend and told her he was a virgin when he totally wasn't because he got Gwen pregnant. He totally denied even sleeping with Gwen but—_hello!—_we all know what you did last summer." She giggled again, "Sorry, I talk allot."

I smiled. She did talk allot. That I could tell. But unlike when Amber would talk to me about meaningless things like this, I didn't space out with Laurence. Her smooth voice made me _want _to listen so I could know the ending of her story. Even if it was a soap opera.

"I'm glad my name is Embry, then,"

"Embry. I love it. Really. Embry. Embry. Embry." She chanted, "I'll name my first child Embry. Is it unisex? It sounds like it is?"

"I'm…I'm not exactly sure."

She laughed. That was the day I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. I had forgotten how delightful and beautiful a laugh could be. "It doesn't matter. We'll just tell people it is—I mean _I, I'll _ tell people it's unisex." She laughed again but it was one of embarrassment.

"Who's Embry? On the show I mean." I asked. I didn't really care but I wanted to hear her talk some more. I wanted to hear her say my name again. I used to hate me name when people made fun of me for it, then I kind of liked it as I grew up but knowing that Laurence love it…Embry was the second best name in the world, after Laurence.

"I don't know. I started watching As the World turns about 4 years ago and Embry was in it, like, 20 years ago." She shrugged and giggled.

"Oh,"

The damage was done, my choice was made. She didn't have to say much for me to know that I couldn't live without her. I couldn't imagine not hearing her laugh again. I couldn't imagine not seeing her eyes again. The thought of being away from her scared me. I didn't even think about returning to Forks. And be miles away from Laurence? How was I going to protect her from Forks? Not that she needed protecting. She looked like she could protect herself.

Amber was so scrawny and fragile. In the beginning, I always thought that I might break her in haft like a dried up twig but Laurence…She was so gorgeous. She wasn't stick skinny like Amber was and that was a good thing. I hadn't noticed what she was wearing, but she wore a black dress that clung to all off her curves. Her skin looked so soft. Thick wasn't the right word to describe her, she was fit, but skinny wasn't the word either. I could only describe her as perfect, every man's fantasy. Especially in that dress. She had a body and she wasn't ashamed to show it. She was blessed and she wasn't afraid to let the world know. I didn't stare at her particular "blessings". I knew they were there but something more beautiful was worth my attention at the moment.

I smiled warmly at her. I hoped it looked warm at least. I didn't want to freak her out too soon with all my affection. The last thing I wanted was a Silver Masson situation. In the sense that I didn't want my imprint to run from me or reject my love. Laurence was my imprint but I had a girlfriend. I tried to keep that in mind. I had a girlfriend.

"I'm, uh, off work in a few minutes…do you want to go out for ice cream or something?" She smiled shyly. She looked away, kind of embarrassed when I didn't answer right away.

"Sure!" I said, a little too eagerly. "I'd love to get ice cream with you."

"You'll have to buy some too. I wouldn't want to eat it all by myself." She teased.

"Yeah, we'll just be…eating ice cream…" I was trying to convince myself. _Friends _went out for ice cream all the time. Sure, Laurence was beautiful—she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen—but I had a life…and a girlfriend.

_You have a girlfriend. Amber is amazing._

I tried to remind myself. I constantly forgot that though.

**A/N****: I used to watch As The World turns but I stopped when Paul was getting on my nerves so I basically made up the whole "Embry being in ATWT". I have no idea what soap Embry is from.**


	4. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Cupid's Arrow.**

**Embry's POV**

Laurence got off work and she brought me to her favourite ice cream booth. This wasn't technically a date, so Laurence paid for her own ice cream without even glancing in my direction. She ordered her soft, swirled ice cream in a cone as for I asked for a bowl. Ice cream tended to meld in my hands. The last thing I wanted was for the cone to start dripping and to mess up my clothes so I would look like a messy idiot.

_This is not a date._ I had to remind myself constantly. _Laurence is my imprint and also my friend. Nothing more._ I repeated it again and again throughout the day. I didn't want this imprint to ruin my loved ones lives like it had for Sam. Sam loved Leah so much but the second Emily came around he dumped Leah faster them you could say "bamboozle". That wasn't his fault, I knew that, but we couldn't deny that he _had_ made promises to Leah. He promised to love her, forever. He had promised to be with her, forever. He had promised to never hurt her, ever.

He did all those things and then some. We couldn't deny that he loved Emily, he was happiest with her, but had he even _tried _to stay with Leah. After all the promises he made to her, he owed her that much. Didn't he?

I couldn't imagine Amber turning into a sour, bitter, shrew like Leah had been. She wasn't as bad anymore since she'd left Sam's pack but in the beginning she was just so awful. First she was sad—after Sam had left her she locked herself in her house and hardly spoke to anyone and when she did it wasn't anything nice. Once she started talking, it was just useless comments and insults that everyone could have lived their lives without hearing. I didn't want my beautiful, bubbly Amber to be like that.

Laurence and I ended up walking down streets for hours. We hadn't even notice how much time had passed till the sun had set and it was dark.

I learned allot about Laurence. She was born in L.A, she studied cosmetology, she enjoyed intense rock music and screamo. Amber had just gotten into screamo as well. Laurence liked listening to small bands that were going to become big someday—bands that nobody knew. My chemical Romance was also a band she adored. She admitted to a small guilty pleasure of the Jonas Brothers. Amber was obsessed with the Jonas Brothers. In the back of my head I was glad I didn't have to deal with those three fags with their sheep hair and tight jeans. Of course I never said that to Amber or she'd have me castrated.

There was a buzzing sound and Laurence sighed. She reached in her black purse and pulled out her cell phone. "Shoot!" she gasped, "Oh, no! I forgot, I have this stupid dinner to go to. My dad's in the military, he's kind of a big deal…" she started to say apologetically. Her expression brightened out of nowhere and she looked flawless. Her eyes actually sparkled when she got an idea, "I have an idea! You should come with me. As my date."

I grimaced. That didn't sound very faithful. Her dinner sounded a little high class and my jeans and t-shirt wasn't really appropriate. Meeting Laurence's family didn't seem right either. Every fibre in my body wanted to give Laurence everything she wanted but I had drew myself a line and Laurence was dancing on it.

She misread my expression, "My dad doesn't go around shooting my dates if you're worried about losing a limb." She grinned.

I laughed nervously, "No, that's not it…I can't, sorry."

"Oh," she looked down a bit embarrassed and swallowed, "But I'll see you tomorrow, right? I don't have work…"

"I…" I wanted to break it off here. I'd had seen Laurence and she was amazing. I had imprinted with her and it felt great. I came, I saw and I felt what I wanted to feel. It was time for me to go and live my life with Amber. Maybe three or four years from now when Amber and I would probably not be together anymore I could come back to Laurence, tell her about our imprint, and be with her. The majority of me didn't want to be with Laurence _later_, I wanted to be with her _now_. But I was being selfish, I wasn't in this alone. "I don't really live around here so…"

"So this is it, then?" Her sad voice had a hint of disbelief.

"I guess," I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets feeling the velvet box with Amber's bracelet that I didn't care whether I gave it to her or not. I didn't even care if she took me back or not. That was just because Laurence was right here and Amber was far away. Once she was within my reach, I would want her again. Did that mean that at that moment I didn't want her?

I stood in front of a shocked Laurence for a few seconds in an awkward silence. Laurence wasn't looking at me, she was just staring into blank space in my direction.

It was best if I didn't touch her. For me, not for her. I knew that feeling her heart beat if I hugged her wouldn't make this easier for me. Feeling her coolness that would feel like warmth and her scent surrounding me would not be good at all. I was hurting, knowing that I'd never see her again but I kept telling myself it could have been worse. Way worse, this was the beginning.

"Goodbye, then," I said and turned around and started walking away. My stomach was twisting painfully, my heart was pounding, my eyes were stinging and I couldn't breathe. I was a complete wreck. I took several steps, each one taking me further away from Laurence. I wondered if my heart would even work right without hers beating near it. I doubted it would. Maybe Amber would dump me for being such an annoying, depressed emo. Now I was _hoping _Amber was dumping me? I was proving myself right. Imprints made everything so complicated. Who the hell did imprints think they were? They thought they could just sneak up on poor, un-expecting werewolves and ruin our lives with these strong beautiful feelings? A love so pure it made a baby look dirty? No. That wasn't fair. That wasn't right. If Imprint was a person I would punch them in the face. Why would someone screw somebody else over like that? Talk about a prick.

"No," Laurence whispered, "Embry, wait up!" her voice sounded like it was coming from far so I pretended not to hear her.

She ran up to be and touched my shoulder. She ran around me and stopped in front of me. She was grinning to make the situation look less serious but we both knew there was nothing funny about this situation, "Come on, dude. You can't just leave like that. I'm practically in love you."

My heart squeezed and I looked up from the ground. My eyes were probably pink and glistening from the tears I was fighting.

Laurence smiled sweetly so her grabbing the back of my head and yanking my face down so that our lips could touch caught me by surprise with her aggressiveness. My heart accelerated, it was automatic. I knew I shouldn't be doing this but it was a part of me to love Laurence. Whether I wanted to or not, my _body_ couldn't reject me. My lips burnt with the intensity of our kiss. My body had a mind of its own, one hand pulling her closer to me and the other cupping her face.

Laurence's heart was as erratic as mine. He lips were amazing. Kissing her was just amazing. I couldn't imagine kissing anyone else ever again.

The kiss seemed to last an eternity but it still wasn't long enough.

"Meet me. Tomorrow at noon. Right here. Don't be late." She murmured against my lips.

"Yes." I was dizzy and breathless. I couldn't think straight but I was definitely going to be here tomorrow.

"Great!" she chirped and backed away from me. She must have tripped on something because she fell back and I caught her outstretched hands while her ass was inches from the hard ground. She bursted into laughter, "Woops! You must be an electric socket because I'm seeing sparks." She giggled as I helped her up.

I laughed, "Wow, that's really…terrible."

She laughed and nodded, "Yeah. Normal people blush when their embarrassed. I blush _and_ make stupid jokes." She did a cheesy thumbs up.

"You're adorable." How much times had I said that sentence to what's-her-name. It was one of the things that had driven me to her—her adorable perkiness.

Laurence and I were standing so close together. It felt so right.

"Cute enough that you'll be here tomorrow?"

"Cute enough that I'll be here early."

Laurence smiled before giving a small kiss on the lips and skipping off with a subtle goodbye. I wasn't supposed to follow her so I didn't. She was a few yards away when she turned around and shouted—actually shouted though we were far from being alone:

"I usually don't kiss on the first day but you're special Embry Call. Remember that." And with that, she was gone.

"Wow." I breathed and was smiling as I practically scatted to the woods. I hadn't slept for days but I wasn't tired at all. I tried to remember the last time I slept in the woods. It seemed so long ago.

I went deep into the woods and climbed a tree. I had business to do before I slept. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket—miraculously still in good shape—and checked my messages. My phone was off which was odd because I didn't remember turning it off. I had six voice mail messages and four text messages.

I listened to the voice messages first. The first couple was from my mother:

"_Hey Embry, it's you mother, yeah." _she sounded pissed, "_I'm not pissed but it is past midnight. I know __**legally **__you're an adult but that doesn't change the fact that you have to call when you're pulling an all-nighter. So call me tomorrow before I head for work."_

I sighed. The next phone call was from the morning after, _"Did I not make myself clear?" _shebarked_, "I said call me. I'm heading off to work but I swear to god Embry if you don't call me…" _She didn't finish her threat and I chuckled. My mother was really something.

The third one was from Amber. A few hours after my mom went to work, "_Hey Embry, it's…me, Amber. Um, your mom called me."_

I frowned, that was a little extreme.

Amber laughed nervously, _"Yeah, I know, weird. She said you went __**missing **__but that Jacob says you're not dead or anything. Did you run away or something? Look, you don't have to call me but we have to talk…so, yeah."_

The other two messages were from yesterday and the day before that. I was baffled by the fact I'd been gone for more than 3 days. No wonder mom was pissed. I was kind of hurt by the fact Amber hadn't called more often. The last message was from her.

"_Okay, Embry, now I'm kind of scared. Your mom's not calling the cops, but __**I**__ might. I spoke to Jacob and he said you were okay and Quil said the same thing. Even Seth is saying that you're not dead…Am I missing out on something? Call me…Love you." _She was a little angrier in that message. Not as much as my mother was, but angry.

Thinking about Amber hurt too much. I forced myself to think of more important things, like the fact my mom was going to go into cardiac arrest if I didn't tell her that I was fine. I called mom who started yelling before I even announced it was me. Then she bursted into tears and telling me that she loved me, then she yelled again until she finally listened. She was so hormonal. I bet it was menopause or something. Gross.

I convinced her that I was fine and I would be home in a few days after thinking something over. I didn't call Amber. What I had to tell her had to wait. I was positive I wanted to do it but I was scared. I pushed it out of my mind and phased to make sleeping on the hard ground easier.

I was thinking about Laurence. I couldn't help it. I thought about her eyes and her smile and the way she laughed. She was so sweet and funny and the most amazing person in the world.

I was so distracted by the thought of Laurence's maroon eyes that I didn't notice that I wasn't alone in my head.

_You imprinted?! _Exclaimed Jacob, a little horrified.

I didn't reply. I was taken by off guard. His reaction was as if someone snuck up behind me and shouted "Boo!" while I was having a calm conversation, leaving my heart beating unevenly.

_Crap, dude! I'm happy for you and all but…but Amber. _He hesitated in saying her name. He understood that it hurt me.

I whimpered and lay my head on my front paws. _I know. _

I knew what I had to do and my heart was throbbing at the thought of it. I didn't want to hurt Amber more than I already had. She'd been so good to me all these months that we were together. She was funny and nice and slightly annoying but that was okay. We connected in ways that I couldn't explain because she'd been through nearly everything I had gone through. Her dad was a scum bag who left, she had a strong mother who loved her more than anyone else in the world. Both our mother's had us young, we knew how it was to have an understanding parent. We both could have been horrible kid. A boy needed his father and a girl raised without a dad could turn out terribly but we were both okay kids.

It was hard to believe that I could possibly have that same connection with Laurence. I felt stupid but I had to understand that Laurence was the one I couldn't survive without.

_I liked Amber. _Jacob said, sympathizing for me. Amber was friends with Jacob and Quil too. She got along with all my friends. She was one of the guys. Would it be the same with Laurence? I didn't want Laurence to replace Amber though! That wasn't what was supposed to happen.

_But you can't have them both. _Jacob reminded, _It's wrong to treat the girl you love like that._

_I know,_ that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I would never defile our relationship like that. The sex defiled it enough, the last thing I had to do was be a cheater. I had already started…that kiss with Laurence…

_So…Amber or Laurence? _Jacob asked.

_I just met Laurence! _I spat. I wasn't mad at him. I was angry at myself and the world so I was taking it out on him, _Laurence doesn't know me. She doesn't know me like Amber knows me. She wasn't there for me when I was down, Amber was. How could Laurence be more important than Amber? That would be stupid._

_Cupid didn't go to college. He just shoots people with arrows._

_That's stupid Jake. So was I shot my two arrows? _I demanded.

_One's your heart, Em, and the others the arrow._

_You're not making any sense! _I hissed.

_Love doesn't make sense._

I glared at him mentally. He was being a prick and he was doing it on purpose. Why the hell was he talking about freaking arrows and hearts and shit like that? This was love and an imprint. I loved Amber and I imprinted with Laurence. Why Laurence? Why couldn't I imprint with Amber or at least nobody at all?

I couldn't do this anymore. I ignored Jake and tried to dream about nothing. Of course that didn't happen. I had two dream sequences. One with Amber and the other with Laurence. They were both amazing but one didn't last as long as I'd hoped.


	5. Chapter 20

_**A/N: The following chapter may contain nudity, sexuality and coarse language. Viewer's discretion is advised. **_** I'm kind of joking. I just really wanted to say that :P**

**Chapter 20: Bare it all.**

**Embry's POV**

I had been sitting in the park since 10 in the morning. I had nothing better to do so I waited for Laurence for two hours. I bought a breakfast wrap at McDonald's for breakfast though. I wondered if Laurence would believe me if I told her I loved her more than anything in this world. Or would she think I was trying to sleep with her?

I thought about that for a few seconds then nodded to myself. She would think I wanted to sleep with her. No doubt. I didn't have time to beat around the bush though! I was kind of in a rush. Amber was waiting for an explanation but I couldn't just disappear for days without telling Laurence. I didn't want to disappear from her. I wanted to see her every day. I wanted to hear her laugh and make her laugh. I really wanted to be with her.

I was so happy when I saw her silhouette coming towards me from a distance. I ran towards her. She seemed delightfully surprised by my eagerness.

"Hey there, cutie." She pulled my face down and kissed me. I was taken by surprise but happy that she was this affectionate. I thought yesterday was just a spear of the moment kind of thing. Apparently it wasn't. "I missed you." She patted my chest and took my hand.

"How was your dinner party?" I asked her. I actually wanted to know if she had a good time. I wanted to know if she'd met interesting people and hear the things that had made her laugh. I was genuinely intrigued.

"It was boring. I wanted you to come."

It upset me that she hadn't had a good time. I didn't mean to ruin her day by not coming.

She took both my hands and started walking backwards. She was pouting like a lost puppy, "I missed you. I know that's weird." She let go of my hands and walked faster, clearly embarrassed. "Gosh, I'm sorry, I'm coming on super strong."

"No, it's alright."

"It's just that I recently came out of this committed relationship and it left me a little…flustered." She admitted. Laurence looked over her shoulder to give me an apologetic smile.

I jogged forward to reach her, "Do you want to talk about it?" If it was bothering her, I wanted it off her chest.

She looked at me, a bit surprised, "He was a jerk…. He treated everyone like crap except for me…little did I know that he was treating me like crap. He lied to me, we got into fights, he cheated on me..." She spat on the floor in disgust, "Left me kind of vulnerable I guess…Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I told you that." She looked away, blushing.

My words got caught in my throat. I was so screwed. She didn't like liars and that's what I was. She didn't like lying and I was doing so by being here instead of in La Push. She probably thought I was from here. She hated cheaters and, well, I had a girlfriend and I was pretty sure that making out with another girl counted as cheating, even if I was in love. I considered the fact that I was in a different area code, I heard that meant it didn't count. What was I thinking, of course it counted.

"Laurence, come with me." I said, pulling on her hand and walking faster than necessary. All of a sudden, I was in a real rush. Every second I was with her, I was tainting our relationship. Not only my relationship with Laurence, but my relationship with Amber. As good as it felt to hold Laurence's hand like this and feel her pulse race under my palm, I felt dirty about it because she had no idea that I had a girlfriend. It made me feel like scum and I didn't like it.

She didn't pull her arm away when I dragged her into the woods, "Laurence, do you believe in…magic?" I grimaced at my question, that was a stupid way to place it.

"Yes," she replied excitedly, "Yes, I do, Fairy God mother!"

I chuckled and stopped to scoop her up into my arms.

She gasped, "What the fuck, Embry?"

I started running into the woods and Laurence clutch to me like her life depended on it which, technically, it did. If I dropped her, that wouldn't be really funny.

I stopped in a very small clearing. Tall trees surrounded us. I set Laurence on the floor and she was gasping for air. She backed away from me, not in fear but because she need room to breathe.

"Don't do that. Ever." She ordered with her hand over her chest, feeling her heart pounding against her palm. I waited a few moments for her heart to settle, "If I weren't so scared. That would have been really fun." She grinned then looked around us and grimaced, "Bugs are here. I know there are bugs here."

"Laurence, do you believe in…werewolves and stuff like that?"

"No, but I read books on werewolves. Love stories, horror novels, I like the gory stuff." She grinned.

I smiled. She was so uniquely herself. Amber hated anything scary; she'd never even read a book before. How could I love someone who was the complete opposite to my dream girl?

"Why did you bring me here? Is this some kind of rape scene?" Laurence asked nonchalantly, "Because if you wanted to rape me you don't have to go through this much trouble. I'd have sex with you willingly." She looked up at the trees while she said this.

My throat swelled and I blushed, "No, um, Laurence, focus."

"Sorry, that was a joke…if you tried to rape me; I'd kick your ass."

"That's good to know."

There was a pause of silence.

"Awkward." She sang in a murmur. "I hope you don't mind me asking why the hell I'm surrounded by trees."

I took a deep breath, "Yes, um, I'm in love with you and—wait," she tried to cut me off, "And I know that we just met. I'm telling you this now because, well, I'm not exactly human and—"

"What? If you're not a human then what are you, a warlock?" she asked mockingly.

"No, I'm a werewolf."

She laughed, "Can we go out for breakfast or something? I'm kind of hungry. We can play this game later."

I sighed. I felt like a hypocrite. How much times had I called Seth stupid for phasing in front of Silver? In my defence, he didn't have a legit girlfriend when he imprinted on her. He was just dating random girls for fun. Amber wasn't just a random girl…she was _my _girl. She was perfect for me, like a female virgin of myself; she was also everything I wanted to be. She was outgoing and crazy. The more time I spent with her, the more outgoing I became. My Amber.

"Embry?"

"Huh?" my head snapped up and Laurence's face pushed Amber's away so thoroughly. All I saw was Laurence. "You want to see something scary?"

"Is it gross?"

"Kind of."

"Okay!" she nodded.

I grinned. She was my big brave dog.

I backed away from her and she didn't follow.

I didn't want to do this, but I couldn't spend the whole day with my heart belonging to two women. I couldn't do it anymore. This was for Amber and this was for Laurence as much as it was for me.

My eyes didn't leave Laurence's as I let the tremor and the heat fill my body. I kept playing Amber's face in my head over and over to have the courage to do this. That was what I was thinking about when I phased in front of Laurence, ripping through my only outfit and shoes. I was a real idiot for doing this.

Laurence didn't scream, which I took as a good sign at first. The possibility that she could have had a heart attack came to mind but her heart beat sounded normal. Her eyes bulged out of her head as she took in my giant form. Wow, she was braver than I though.

Laurence's eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body collapse to the ground.

I panicked, a whimper escaping my muzzle. I phased back immediately and ran to Laurence, falling to my knee, "Oh God, Laurence?" I shook her shoulders and put my ear to her cheat to hear if her heart was beating. It wasn't necessary since I could hear it without doing so, but I panicked. I was so panicked, I didn't even care that my face was pressed against her breasts. I hadn't notice how large they were till now. "Laurence?" I pulled her to make her sit up.

Her eyes fluttered open, "Oh…my God." She was very disoriented. Her eyes finally focused on my face, "That…was so…COOL!!!" She yelled when she was completely conscious. She sat up completely without needing any of my help."Holly Shit! You have to teach me how to do that! I—" she finally had a good look at me, "_Dude_, you're naked."

I was so happy she was okay, embarrassment was the last thing on my mind, "That tends to happen when I rip through my clothes to be a wolf."

"Oh, um, Okay." Laurence got up and looked up at the sky as I got up as well, "Well, now that I know that you're a wolf and I, um," she glanced down for a nanosecond then blushed looking away, "and I know what you penis looks like, what do we do?"

"What do _you _want to do?" I teased. I didn't really mean any of it. I wasn't going to take advantage of this situation. I was naked, it was warm out…I was just joking.

Laurence laughed nervously, "Wolfie style, I guess."

I backed away from her. We were standing very close and _I _was naked which seemed to make Laurence uncomfortable, "Sorry that I'm naked."

"It's okay…I have…I've seen naked men before so I'm used to it…That sounded slutty." She pointed out. She wasn't able to find the right words at the moment, "I've only seen a few men naked, like 3 who weren't my cousins…" she sighed, "I'm saying stupidness."

"Like I was saying, I'm in love with you."

She looked at me in surprise and smiled, "Well, since you're naked, I feel safe to say that I love you too…at least, I think I do. You're really hot, and naked, so…yeah..."

I chuckled, she was making being naked less awkward. I didn't feel awkward at all. It was a little drifty but other than that, it was all good. "So, now that you know that I'm not normal and very much in love with you…I have to tell you something. Firstly, you're my imprint which makes this inexplicable bond between us that'll last forever." I felt stupid explain this. I hated this conversation. It was so cliché. Imprint was such a stupid word, it would have been awesome if there was a cooler word for it, like Voltar. _Laurence, you're my Voltar. _It sounded cooler already! I'd have to bring this to council.

Laurence nodded attentively. She was really believing me. This was easier than I thought it would be.

"But…I feel obligated to tell you that I have a girlfriend…back in Washington…which is where I'm from…and where I live." I put big pauses between every statement, remembering them at last minutes.

Laurence eyebrows raised in surprise, "You have girlfriend." She repeated while nodding.

"Yes, but I love _you, _Laurence, I swear to you." I closed the distance between us and took both her hands.

Laurence wasn't speaking, she was deep in thought. Her eyes were down and I felt the need to cover up. She didn't look like she was looking at my package but I still felt self conscious. "Okay…you have a girlfriend…but you love me." She shrugged, "Break-up with her." She looked up at me with a dazzling smile. "If our bond is stronger than whatever you have with that other girl, then break up with her, then come back to me. We'll figure this out, Embry. If you come back to me, I'll take care of you." She promised.

"There's no _if, _Laurence. I _will _come back to you." I made my own promise.

She nodded a little less sure of herself.

I lifted her chin to bring her lips to mine.

She turned her face away, "Embry, you have a girlfriend…I can't. I wish you'd told me…"

"Oh…" I backed away from her.

"And you're naked…" she smiled apologetically.

"Oh!" I put both my hands over my groin. "I don't know how to get my hands on more clothes." I confessed sheepishly.

"Well, shit." She sighed, "Well, I should get back to civilization."

I nodded and, after a few minutes of protest from Laurence, carried her back. Laurence wasn't shy in front of my nakedness at this point. She was just terribly giddy. She giggled immensely when I lifted her off the ground.

I dropped her off close to the street, not wanting to be seen by civilians.

Laurence didn't give me a goodbye kiss. I would have hugged her, but I was suddenly very aware that I was naked. Instead, we just shook hands. Laurence gripped at me hand, not wanting to let go. With a sigh from both of us, we headed in opposite directions.

I watch Laurence walk away. I didn't like watching her walk away. It pained me to see her leave. She looked over her shoulder at me. Seeing her face made me know that she was worth everything. I would give up everything to spend all my time with Laurence.

I thought she might be thinking the same thing; a soft smile had grown on her face, till she bursted into giggles. I was still naked.


	6. Chapter 21

**A/N: I've been thinking about this chapter since before I even started writing Crush! So I hope y'all like it. Please leave feedback!!**

**Also, I **_**have **_**to say something about Haiti. I'm not Haitian but my heart is broken from this tragedy. Most of my friends are Haitian and if any of you are then I hope your families are safe and aren't harmed to badly. :(**

**Chapter 21: The break-up**

**Amber's POV**

I was sitting with Christina on my sofa. We had just come back from a long shopping trip. I wasn't going to sit home a mope over Embry's disappearance. He was such an ass hole! Who did he think he was? How dare he just disappear like that? I was sitting at home, worried sick, waiting for him to call me back for days. I finally decided that Jacob and Quil were telling the truth. Embry was fine.

In that case, I just missed him. I wanted him back so I could talk to him. Sex ruined everything! _I _ruined everything. It was my fault Embry was…God knows where.

I picked up my Blackberry and called Embry for the millionth time. It went straight to voice mail.

A growl escaped my throat, "Son of a bitch!" I muttered, "That bastard turned off his cell!"

"Why would he turn off his cell?" Christina asked curiously.

"I don't know."

"Maybe his bouncing your calls." She said, "If it rings like 5 or 6 times then he didn't hear it, if it rings once and goes to voice mail then his phone is off but if it rings twice _then _goes to vote mail, that means he saw it was you and pressed end."

I stared at her incredulously. My mouth hung open because I was considering that. Maybe Embry didn't want to talk to me…I shook that thought out of my head. I gave him sex; of course he wanted to talk to me. It might've been bad for me but at least he got his. "His phone is off." I stated, rolling my eyes.

"Where is he?" Christina asked.

"I don't know!" I answered, frustrated. I was in no mood for her stupid questions. "You should go home, it's getting late."

Christina went home without being the least bit offended and I started talking to less annoying people. My sister for instance. She was finally herself again; poor girl was dealing with so much. She didn't have to tell me for me to know. Anyone with eyes could see that her little friend, Nahuel, had a huge crush on her. Now, he hardly came to the house anymore, which seemed to upset Silver. She spent more time with Seth and her other friends, no Nahuel.

We were both surviving in this hell hole. We were both actually happy now. We both found love in this town. Even I was in love, Embry had disappeared but most of me was glad that I didn't have to face him yet. I was so embarrassed.

Of course as the days progressed and Embry still hadn't showed up, I became a little suspicious. What was he doing? I was starting to believe that he had run away from home. Quil would have told me though…

When Embry actually didn't call for 5 days, I stopped caring and pushed him to the back of my head. If he was going to be an ass than he could be an ass. Instead of moping over him, I went out with mom, out with my friends and watch late night movies on the couch by myself.

It was about day six or seven when Embry honoured me with his presence and knocked at my door. I wasn't really sure how long it had been because I wasn't much of a person to count days. I knew it was him because I saw his familiar car parked on the curve. His car wasn't parked in the driveway like he usually parked it.

Seeing his car, I felt my body fill with rage. I was so pissed. So he wasn't dying if he was able to drive all the way over here. I was fuming as I made my way to the door. In the short, 6 meter distance from the sofa to the door, I already thought up a whole fit for me to throw. I considered slapping him; that would be so dramatic!

I pulled the door open, I was ready to glare at Embry but when I saw him, all that changed.

He was standing barely a foot and a half away from me. He was tall and big, his shoulders were broad and I remembered how much of a _man _Embry was. He'd never been a boy to me. He wore a jacket so I couldn't worship his muscles but his neck was exposed giving me a good look at his neck muscles, his Adam's apple and all the smooth russet skin that covered it all. His face wasn't showing any emotion so I was able to see it in neutral. He didn't have to be all stupid and grinning for me to admire him. I hadn't noticed how much I missed him.

The anger was gone and now I was blissfully happy that he was here. My shoulder's relaxed and I smiled. I rolled my eyes at myself, was I really letting him get away with this? My body made that decision before my mind did. I was wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a huge hug.

"Oh, my God! Embry, I've missed you!" I squealed and pulled him into the house, "Where were you?" I asked in the same tone after letting him go. My question seemed to upset Embry so I let it go. He was here now, that's all that mattered, "You know what? I don't care." I was so excited to see him, I was yammering about random things, "Are you hungry? I can make you French toast or pancakes."

"Amber," It was the first time Embry had spoken. He didn't sound as psyched as I was. I looked at him and he really looked upset. I could just imagine what was on his mind. Embry was as sensitive I was—which wasn't much but even I was shaken up. Our last encounter was a real mild stone, he most likely wanted to talk about it and as much as it shamed me, I wanted to talk about it too.

"I know what you want to say, Embry…" I pulled him into the house some more. I didn't like how he was acting like a stranger to these walls. I sighed, "Look, I know that the sex…it was, well, horrible but I still love you."

That seemed to surprise him, "Even after…"

"Of course." I smiled, "Embry, we're fine." I left out the part where I never wanted to have sex for at least another year. That would kill our moment; I'd save that for later.

He was touched by what I was saying. I loved how I always knew the right things to say to make him feel better. We were at a point in our relationship that we knew each other without having to say anything. It was rad.

"Amber, I…" He usually didn't have this much trouble telling me things. It worried me that he wasn't able to communicate as well as before his departure.

"What's wrong, Emby?" he usually chuckled when I used that stupid nickname. He hadn't this time. "Embry…"

"Amber, I…I'm breaking up with you."

My eyes widened on their own but I honestly couldn't believe my ears. It simply didn't make sense. I had never been dumped before; girls like me did the dumping. The thought of a beautiful girl like me getting broken up with was absurd. That, mixed with hysterics made me laugh, "Embry, you made your joke. You look hungry. French toast?"

"No, Amber, I'm serious." He looked up from the ground, his face was so serious. I'd never seen it that way before.

I felt my heart twist in my chest. I hadn't expected that kind of physical pain. I laughed though I didn't think any of it was funny, "What?"

Embry just looked at me with an emotionless glare. He didn't look like he was planning to reply. I waited for his _Gotcha! _But it never came. My throat felt swollen shut but I found the strength to speak. To my surprise, my voice sounded normal.

"Embry, you can't just leave for a week—no goodbye, no phone call—then come back to dump me." I was being stern. I wasn't going to let him see me weak, not when I could fix this. "You look tired. You should go home and…take a nap."

"I don't need a nap." He kept his voice low.

I glared at him. He wasn't being funny. I couldn't believe this, literally. He wasn't making any sense. After glowering for a few seconds, Embry's expressionless face didn't change. It was completely motionless, he didn't budge from his statement.

He was serious.

My breathing sped up with panic. My hands trembled as I brought them to my face with a horrified expression, "No," I whispered shaking my head. "No." I groaned, more painfully. This couldn't be happening. Now that I knew he was serious—that he was really dumping me—his words echoed in my head. _I'm breaking up with you. _I didn't understand. We were just fine. We were happy. Usually, a relationship would deteriorate before it collapsed; I knew that, I dumped guys all the time. "What did I do wrong?" I looked up at his face, drinking in as much of it as I could.

His expression faltered again. This time, he was in pain too. That was good, I still had a shot if he still cared for me. "No, Amber, you didn't do anything wrong."

"It's not you it's me." I muttered to myself, "Embry, have you even thought this over? You can't want this?"

He didn't reply.

"You're not doing this to us." I made my voice hard and angry but he knew me enough to hear that I was begging.

"I'm sorry." He turned his face away. His body didn't move but I knew he was going to make his way to the door. After that, he'd be gone.

I wasn't having that. "Embry," I closed the distance between us, resting my hand on his chest, "I know the sex was bad." I confessed and Embry winced, that had to be why. Our relationship was perfect until that dreadful afternoon. I regretted it with every fibre of my being, "But that's only because it was my first time…It'll get better, I promise." I was getting a little desperate and I was so happy we were alone. I wouldn't want Silver to see me begging a man like this. She'd be so disappointed. I knew that I never wanted to have sex again but I also knew that I didn't want to lose Embry.

I wrapped my arms around his neck—Embry did not move—and whispered in hopes that he couldn't hear my voice cracking, "I can show you…My mom's at work till 6 and Silver's off with Seth." I tried persuading him with my eyes. "You and I could go down to my room and...get it right." I paused often because I was so disgusted by the thought of having him touch me like that again. I fought back a shudder as I remembered all the discomfort that lasted hours.

"Amber, no," Embry didn't stutter or show any sign that he was aroused. My proximity did nothing to him. That angered me.

If he didn't want me, then I didn't want him. I was going to use reverse psychology, that always worked, "Okay, then," I backed away from him. "Then bye. Whatever, Embry…If you don't want this then it's your loss."

He didn't respond the way I hoped. I had hoped that he'd be baffled and apologize again and again. Beg _me _to reconsider. He didn't do that. He nodded—accepted my terms—and started towards the door.

"No, no, no," I was crying now. I reached for his hand and pulled him as hard as I could. He didn't budge an inch and that killed me. Did he not want to be with me _that _much? "Embry, please, _please, _don't do this to us." I felt everything pouring out. All the walls and barriers I had built to keep the little pride I had crumbled to the floor. I didn't need my pride, I needed Embry, "Embry, you can't do this. We love each other! We were in love last week and were in love now. Nothing has changed." I paused for him to say something, anything, but he didn't so I went on, "Come on, this isn't fair. I never let myself fall like this, Embry. I've never let myself care for anyone before. I trusted _you _ because I thought you were as messed up as I was. Maybe more." I looked at him pleadingly, tears rolling down my face. I had to blink hard to see Embry's face. It hadn't changed.

"I should leave."

"No, Embry, you can't leave. Please. I love you." I whimpered and rested my forehead to his shoulder. My head was killing me. I wanted to start sobbing, but I couldn't beg and sob at the same time. "I love you so much." I really meant it. I really did love him. I would never be the same after having him. I would always think girls were so ridiculous for dying over some guy, but now I knew.

I knew how it felt to feel like you've found that one person who makes you smile just by existing. I knew how it felt to stay up for hour with someone on the phone until you fall asleep, then waking up to that person's voice. I knew how it felt to be in love and now I was finding out how it felt to be torn apart.

For the short moment that my arms were wrapped around Embry's muscular arm, I felt as though I had him back. His body relaxed and his chin was in my hair. Everything was perfect—except for my aching throat and throbbing head. I remembered so many moments like this with him; we would be close and touching and everything would be perfect. Sometimes it was hot and passionate make-out session that never lasted long enough, sometime it was waking up with my head on his chest and him waking up seconds later, neither of us would speak and it would be perfection, those were my favourites.

But then his arm stiffened and he tried to pull away. We were back to the present where I was begging for him to take me back and he had turned me down. We were back to when I had offered him sex even though I really didn't want to and he'd turned me down. This moment was far from perfection. _We_ were far from perfection.

I shoved his arm away violently. "You know what? Fuck you. I don't need nor deserve you nor this. Forget everything I just said. This is _me _breaking up with _you._" I was angrier this time. The desperation had evaporated and been replaced with humiliation. "You might want to change your Facebook status because I am." I don't know why I said that, Embry didn't have a Facebook.

Embry stared at me blankly.

This time, I didn't hope that he was going to start begging. I was humiliated and I wanted him out. "Well go!" I yelled, "I want you out! Leave! I never want again!"

He opened the door and stepped outside. Pain was the expression on his face. That was bull shit. He didn't know what pain was. He was never going to understand the amount of pain he had put me through. I hoped that life would be cruel to him from now on and that he'd have his heart broken as badly as mine was one day.

I marched to the door and glared at him. The heat was rising to my face.

We locked eyes again. Mine angry and scolding, his confused, frightened and sad. I didn't feel bad for him. I was way more confused, sad and frightened on the inside than his face was. The worst of them all was the humiliation. It made me want to scream, so I did.

"I HATE YOU!!" I shrieked before slamming the door shut.

I clutched at the door knob hoping it would dent under my tight grip. I wanted to break something so badly but nothing was in my reach. I wanted to take all the cups and plates and start breaking them one by one. That was the anger talking.

My stomach started to ached and I dropped to my knees. I remembered when Silver had come home sobbing like this. She had just come home and dropped to her knees and started to sob. Seth had done something to her, I never knew what it was but I guessed it wasn't nearly as bad as what Embry had just done to me.

I didn't know what hurt worse; the fact that Embry didn't want me or the fact that I had made him leave. I couldn't think about how I might never see him again, that hurt too much. He had left because of me. I did want him to go—he had humiliated me. I wanted him out…but I didn't want him to be gone. Not forever.

I pressed my back against the cold, front door, pulled my legs to my body and wrapped my arms around my legs and I sobbed.

**A/N: Just got 2 things to say. Firstly, I want to post Silver Bullet on here so I'm gonna get a Beta reader to edit it then post it. Silver Bullet is the story that Crush is within…**

**Secondly, I have a twitter and I often tweet about my stories so please follow me! **

**.com/KamilleBlack**


	7. Chapter 22

**A/N: Okay, so now that their broken up we can really get started! I'm gonna be going back and forth from Amber and Embry. It's gonna be awesome! I'm so excited to bring in some new characters!**

**Chapter 22: Pushing my buttons**

**Embry's POV**

I couldn't stick around to listen to Amber crying. My stomach clenched and my throat tightened. I felt so sick—physically sick to my stomach. What kind of monster was I? Amber was beautiful and funny and smart…ish. She was nice and compassionate and so generous. She was this amazing, giving person who loved her sister and mother more than anyone in this world. She was the ultimate girl next door with eyes that shimmered and a laugh that could make anyone join in. I was lucky enough to have her in love with me. And I dumped her.

I sped to my house and tried to fight back my own tears. I didn't know she'd be _this _hurt. I had no idea she cared for me _that _much. I was always sure that in our relationship, I was the one who was more in love. I never knew…

I had to fight not to turn back. Flashes of Amber's eyes and her smile, her soft skin and lips on mine, the love that always radiated between us burning hot like the sun. Amber.

The reason why I had done all this came to mind. It was another woman. More beautiful, funnier and makes me feel like I can jump over tall buildings. Laurence. She was why I was doing this. She was why I mercilessly broke Amber's heart. I felt like such a jerk for thinking that she was worth it.

I prayed that Amber was going to get better. Of course, I knew she'd get better very fast. She'd probably mope over me for a few hours, maybe a day or two. She wasn't the kind a girl to grieve over anything. She was tough. Today was just a…an exception. She panicked. She would never throw herself at someone like that.

I thought back to how she tried to seduce me, to make me reconsider by offering sex. Any other day, I would have given in, it wasn't that I wasn't tempted but having her that close, Laurence's face had popped in my head. I couldn't imagine hurting _her _too.

I was on edge, unsuccessfully holding back sobs. I patted my jeans with one hand looking for my cell phone. I got frustrated when I couldn't find it. I remembered the last time I saw it.; when I had phased for Laurence. I hadn't picked up any of my stuff.

I parked in front of my house and started to sob. I figured it was time to get it out of my system.

Amber wasn't mine anymore and she hated me now. I might never see her again. The face I had grown so fond of didn't want anything to do with me, and for good reason. I was a jerk, a tool, a waste of space. I never deserved her, not from the beginning and not even now. I never should have tried to get with her in the first place.

I wiped my eyes and nose with my sleeve and got out of my car. I looked around me like a guilty criminal, afraid to have been caught in one of the most unwholesome things a man could ever do: cry—bawl in my case. I walked to my front porch and opened my door.

"Where have you been?" My mom demanded in a calm yet authorised voice.

I had my back turned to her, trying to close the door without slamming it. I was getting more and more upset. I was really at my limit. "Out, ma." I said through clenched teeth.

"No, that is not the excuse you're giving me. I want a _real _explanation young man." She started tapping her foot on the floor.

I turn around slowly, keeping my face emotionless and hard. I didn't want to glare at my mother but all this sorrow and guilt was turning into hatred—self hatred, hate for the world and everyone in it. "I was at Amber's."

Her frown deepened, "Bull shit, Embry, where have you been for the last week?"

I clenched my fist and my jaw tightened. We were all upset here and I understood that I had gone over the limit of misbehaving but swearing wasn't appropriate nor appreciated. It wasn't the swearing itself but the person doing the cursing and in the context it was meant. My mother was swearing at me, her son, out of frustration and anger. _She _was the adult here therefore she had to calm the hell down.

"Sorry," I mumbled and started towards my room.

"No way in hell you're getting away that easy." She grabbed my wrist and I yanked away and turned to face her, "You live under my roof and I don't care if you 19, 21 or freaking 35! You do _not _leave for a week without telling me and you do _not _walk away when I ask you a question. Got it?"

"Duly noted." I rolled my eyes. I was 19, she could barely tell me what to do.

"Are you crazy?" she shouted, "We're you off doing drugs or something, because you've clearly lost your mind! I am _so _disappointed in you. I freaking slave over everything that involves you and this is how you repay me? Disappearing for days then lying and saying you're off with your pretty little girlfriend?"

"Amber and I broke up!" I barked.

My mother's eyes widened when I yelled. It wasn't from fear or shock, just disbelief, "I'm not surprised. If this is how you treat your family than Amber can do better."

"I know she could do better mom! So just _shut up!" _

My mother's jaw dropped, "No! I will not _shut_ _up_ because I am your mother and you live in _my _house therefore _you _are the one who will _shut_ _up_!"

"Then I'm moving out!" I shouted, having enough of her. I hated that she was treating me like a kid. Couldn't she just leave me alone? She could have at least waited till I calmed down, asked me about my day and _then _act like a complete pain in my ass.

She scoffed, "Ha, I'm sure you are. You don't have a job, Embry." She was yelling in my face, pushing all the right buttons to piss me off more than humanly possible.

"I'll find one." I turned around and took long strides down the hall to get to my room.

My mother didn't grab me this time; she just followed me into my room.

I threw myself on my bed and groaned into my pillow. "I got to get out of here!" I shouted into the pillow. What I really meant was _I have to get to Laurence. _Being away from her was physically exhaustion. I wanted to be far away from all of this; my screaming mother, my heartbroken ex-girlfriend and be close to Laurence, as close as possible.

"News flash Embry, you were _fired _. How long did it take you to even get that job? I swear. You are proving yourself to be irresponsible, disrespectful and good for nothing. The worst type of person."

I lifted my head out of my pillow so my mouth would be clear, "Can you make your conclusion please?"

"I can't conclude to anything because you're over eighteen. All I can say is that I am so pissed that I could scream and you've really disappointed me, Embry. You break my heart." Her voice broke at her last sentence and I heard her start leaving my room.

As mad as I was, I didn't want to make my mom cry. I sighed and rolled onto my back, "Ma,"

"What?" she sounded annoyed but I could see her eyes fill with tears.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have ran off like that. It was wrong and I'm sorry." That wasn't completely untrue. I wasn't sorry for going to California and meeting Laurence but I _was _sorry for hurting my mom by leaving. I never meant to hurt her.

"Yeah, well, don't do it again." She sniffled and turned to leave.

"Mom, please."

She sighed.

I sat up, "I feel like a jerk now."

She smiled, though it looked more like a grimace. Why was I hurting the women I loved the most in the world today? Was this some kind of punishment? I hoped Laurence wasn't too upset with me. "You're acting like a jerk." She mumbled.

"I didn't mean to upset you mom. You know I love you, right?"

My mother walked over to my bed and sat down. She smoothed my hair, "I'm so happy you're okay." She murmured.

I sighed and rested my cheek in her hand. I didn't speak right away, I was enjoying this moment of silence with my mom. I listened to her heart beat and it reminded me of the times when I would have bad dreams and sleep in my mom's bed and after she'd fallen asleep and I'd be scared again, I'd pay close attention to her heart beat and the warmth of her body, knowing that with her this close, no one could hurt me. I was safe with her.

"Did you mean that?" my mom finally asked, breaking the silence.

I looked up at her, confused, not understanding why she looked so sad. Her face was flushed and her tears were rolling down her chin, "Do you really want to move out?"

I sat up and sighed again. I looked down at my hand, not able to bear the tears I had caused her to shed. "It's not that I _want _to move out it's just…I have to get out of here." It wasn't completely false but how could I possibly explain to her that I wanted to move to another state to be with a girl I'd met a few days ago, a girl who isn't my girlfriend whom she loved. Not to mention the fact my mom had no idea about the wolf business. I was going to tell her last year but then I felt like it was a little random. _Hey mom, about a year and a half ago, I became a werewolf. _What was the point?

I guess situations like these were the point. If she knew then it would be so much easier to explain.

"What did I do wrong?" She whispered.

"Nothing, mom, I just…I can't stay here anymore. I have to be somewhere else; somewhere where the sun shines and everyday feels better then the last." _I have to be where Laurence is. _Was my conclusion.

"You don't have a job." She repeated, this time in a softer tone. She wasn't trying to bring me down or even remind me. She was saying it to herself because she knew that it wouldn't stop me.

"I'll figure that one out but I really got to go, mom…I mean the whole Amber thing…"

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. It's her loss, she missed out."

"No mom, it's not what you think, I can't…we just didn't work out."

"So you're running away?"

"No, I'm—"

"It's okay, Embry," she sighed and wiped away her tears. She smiled but her eyes remained sad, "You do whatever you feel is right and I'll support you. If you feel like you have to get out…then I want you to go. This is the hardest part of parenthood, you know? When you guys finally leave the nest and start making your own decisions." More tears streamed down her face but it didn't falter her loving gaze.

I hugged her and she held me tight, "I love you, mom."

"I love you too, Embry. And thanks for telling me that you were leaving instead of just...leaving."

I chuckled.

"My son; the idiot."

'My mom, the—", She pulled away to glare at me. I bit my tongue not wanting to get slapped. I grinned sheepishly, "Nothing."


	8. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: First day**

**Amber's POV's**

After crying until my throat burned and my stomach ached, I took a hot shower and started crying again. I wasn't going to be able to handle this! This was the worst kind of pain to ever experience. I wanted to believe that I was exaggerating but it was hard to do that when Embry didn't want me. Sure, I should have seen it coming but I didn't honestly think that he'd break up with me because we had bad sex. Embry wasn't that kind of guy. I refused to think that that was the reason but there was always the small voice in the back of my head—the one that was impossible to ignore—screaming _This your fault! All your fault! _and I believe it. Who else is there to blame?

I think that's why it hurt so much because Embry and I were so happy, so inseparable and perfect for each other until we—according to him—weren't. But why? What did I _do? _ I spent hours thinking about it; asking myself countless questions that remained unanswered, leaving me feeling like I couldn't breathe.

If that wasn't bad enough, tomorrow was the first day of school—return from the holidays. That was really the last thing I needed—for the whole world to see me at my weakest, most pathetic moment of my life.

I was the first to admit it, I was pathetic. Embry didn't love me and I still wanted him. If he were ever to come back and beg for forgiveness, I'd take him back. He didn't even have to beg—I'd make him though, so I could regain some pride.

The next morning I woke up feeling weird and groggy, like something wasn't right, like I had changed drastically but when I looked in my mirror, I looked the same. My hair was curly and still ridiculously longs, already reaching my mid back, I really needed a haircut. My limbs were still as long and thin as I remembered, my skin was still creamy and pale, almost pink and in desperate need of sun light, my eyes were still green with a hint of gray around the rim of my pupils. Physically, I hadn't changed a bit, but still, I didn't look like _me. _

I didn't look excited to live this new day, to see new things and hear new jokes and meet new people. My eyes were the same size—big and prodding—but they lacked the life and shine they always had. For a second, I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Why did I look so glum and bored this morning?

And just like that, right when I remembered, my shoulders slumped, my face crumpled and my knees felt week. I remembered the break up and how Embry was gone and wasn't coming back to me any time soon.

Tears were streaming down my face as I picked out some jeans and red shirt with a black vest with a hoodie. I didn't put on makeup like I usually did in the morning, I just went in the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Nothing more, nothing less.

I saw Silver's eyes widen at my lack of fashion this morning but she didn't say anything. She had dark bags under her eyes so it was obvious she wasn't used to waking up early yet. She didn't talk much, which was nice, I didn't want to talk. I felt like I wouldn't be able to if I had to talk even if I wanted to; like my lips were glued together or something.

I went upstairs and fought hard to try breathing again. I was so afraid to face the world like this. I didn't want people to actually _know _that I had been broken up with. I mean, I hated to say that being the girl that dated the older guy from La Push defined who I was but I was _Amber Masson, the girl that's dating that older guy from La Push. _Guys would always hit on me at school for two reasons; I was new, something different from the average but of course, I was unattainable, I had a boyfriend and people always want what they can't have.

Maybe that was why Embry always wanted me, because I wasn't interested in the least. Now he was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I took him for granted and now I lost him.

"Oh my gosh! I am so pissed." Silver's complaints warned me of her presents before I heard her footsteps coming up the stairs, "I don't want to go to school. I want to sleep like so bad."

"Sucks, I know what you mean." I mumbled and grabbed Silver's keys out of her purse to let myself in her car. I didn't want to be mean but I didn't want to talk to her either so I popped in my head phones, not really listening to the song and lyrics.

Silver tried to talk to me on the drive to school but after 5 minutes of minimal response and grunting she got the picture and stopped talking to me. She parked at school and I couldn't get away fast enough from her and Seth. I could almost see the love radiate through the both of them like visible heat waves. I hated to think that I was actually jealous of my little sister but I was. Seth and she had been together just as long as Embry and I had. Our relationship was much more stable; we never fought, we never came home crying, he were _much _happier than stupid Seth and Silver. _We _were the perfect couple. _We _were supposed to last longer.

"Amber!!!!" A voice cried, I turned around to see Gabrielle running towards me with a huge grin and her arms wide open awaiting a hug. I notice right away that her hair—originally brown but was bright red the last time I saw her—was now black with burgundy highlights.

My eyes didn't widen, I didn't gasp because I honestly didn't care. "Gaby," I wanted to sound excited and happy to see her but it just came out flat. I returned her hug, squeezing her tiny body and forcing a smile on my face, "You look great."

She went over me and seem a little surprised, of course in a bad way. She also forced a smile on her face, "You look—wow, you're not wearing make-up."

I shrugged.

"It's a good look."

"Thanks."

The bell wasn't ringing for a few minutes so we just walked around the school. Gabrielle chattered about her holidays; the iPhone she got, the fight her parents got in, the parties she'd been to. I just nodded and pretended to be interested.

"Boo!" Christina snuck up behind both of us and screamed. She smiled and pushed her dark hair out of her face, "Darn it! I'll never scare you guys." She pouted.

"You're not scary." Gaby rolled her eyes and pulled Christina into a huge hug.

I just watched from the sidelines while they squeal with equal enthusiasm and excitement. I said hi to a few passing friends.

"Wow! You're not wearing make-up." Christina stated in shock, having looked at me for the first time. "You're not ugly…you just look...dead." she giggled.

I rolled my eyes and took long deliberate steps towards the girls' washroom. I bumped into someone causing all their things to fall on the floor. At first, I was going to keep walking then I realised that just because I was in a bad mood, it didn't mean I had to ruin everybody else's day.

I turned around and helped Andy pick up his books. Andy was a good kid; he was in most of my classes. He was already crouched on the ground trying to collect all his stuff and didn't look up, not expecting help from anyone.

I bent over and helped pick up his binders and note books, "Sorry, Andy, I didn't see you there."

Andy gasped and looked up at me. I didn't pay attention to his eyes boring into the roof of head. I stood up straight and so did he. I handed him his books.

"I didn't know you knew my name." he mumbled taking them back, his cheeks flushing.

I looked up at him, he was tall and thin. He had this thick head of dark curly hair, that and his nose were both dead give-aways that he was a Jew. I frowned, "You're in most of my classes." I reminded him, rolling my eyes. Did he really think I was that self-centered? I couldn't care less what _he _thought of me but how dare he think I was so self centered…

He lifted his skinny square shoulders to shrug.

"Sorry for bumping into you." I mumbled before squirming past him.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look like yourself."

I stopped, feeling my stomach lurch in strange ways, hating that my bad mood was so obvious, especially to Andy—a guy I hardly ever spoke to—a guy who didn't know me at all. I mean, none of my friends noticed anything, either that or they just didn't care, and here was this _stranger _asking me if I was okay, "I'm fine." I muttered and headed back in the direction of the washroom when the loud, nasally bell rang. I just sighed and walked past Andy, eyes on the ground but I could feel him looking at me.

Surprisingly, I survived day one of school without anyone asking how Embry was. I worked harder at being a better sport and "laughed" with the group when it was necessary even though the whole time—during class, during conversations, during lunch—I was thinking of Embry. Where was he? Was he thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him? What had I done for him to suddenly lose interest? Could I win him back?

Silver tried talking to me again and I listened to her at first so that she wouldn't grow too suspicious but after a few minutes of her talking about Melanie or Naika or whatever she was talking about I spaced out and looked out the window.

For some weird reason, I didn't want people knowing about my break-up with Embry. I couldn't quite place the reason why though. I didn't want to admit it, to say it out loud for the world to see how weak I was. I didn't want people feeling bad for me or think of me differently. I really didn't wasn't Silver to know because I didn't want _anyone _to know. That would make it too legit. I couldn't even think about her knowing.

Her not knowing didn't last nearly as long as I hope though. The next day, Silver noticed how distant I was acting. She was telling some story about science class, dissections and someone passing out or something but I wasn't paying attention. I just didn't care. It was all very juvenile to me. I just grabbed my keys and tried to open the house door.

"What the hell's your problem?" she demanded, sounding as annoyed as I felt. She was so annoying; it was like she didn't know when it was time for her to shut the hell up.

"I don't have a problem," I said and opened the door but my attempt to slam the door in her face kind of erased my statement. That move there just bought me into a quarrel I was not interested in being a part of.

She caught the door before it could hurt her and I was glad. I didn't honestly want to _hurt_ her, "What the F, Amber?"

I felt heat rising to my face with anger and frustration. Not only the frustration from the last two days at school with my friends who didn't seem to give a crap that I was deteriorating in front of them, but the anger towards myself and Embry for doing this to me. "Shut up, Silver! I said nothing was wrong!" I screamed way louder than was necessary.

Silver just looked at me for a few quiet seconds, taking in my flushed face, my heavy breathing and my clenched fist, like I would really hit her with it. We both knew I wasn't capable of hitting her of all people.

She gasped and her eyes widened. My heart stuttered and my stomach stirred in fear that she actually guessed my deep dark secret, "Are you pregnant?" she moaned as if the idea caused her physical pain.

My face scrunched up at that ridiculous assumption. The last thing I wanted was a kid and she knew I wasn't planning on getting pregnant. Ever. Even when I would have a steady boyfriend for ten years, pregnancy's out, "No. Ew. Of course not." I rolled my eyes.

She sighed in relief, "Where's Embry?" She asked in such a casual, nonchalant voice, it felt unnatural how the wind knocked out of me like a blow to the gut.

"He's not here!" I said sounding even angrier when the truth was, I felt like I was going to burst into tears.

Silver didn't notice my instability, "Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a while."

I took a deep breath and it took all the strength in my body to just spit it out. "Well we broke up _in a while. _Maybe that's why you haven't seen him." I sneered. Hating her for making me say it out loud but also feeling the huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.

She gaped at me for so long; all my nerves seemed to settle into their places. Silver didn't move so I took it upon myself to speak. I tried to act like I didn't care; I didn't want her to see how I was really dying on the inside. I sighed in defeat, "Yeah, he dumped me. It was...pretty gruesome," I took a seat on the sofa and reached for the remote to turn on the TV, "Now that you know, I'm gonna stop pretending to be happy. Okay?" I said, though what I really meant was _You know, so now I'll be moping more openly._

"S-sure." She stuttered, as baffled as I was when I found out Embry was dumping me. She looked so shocked, as if I had announced that her parents were getting a divorce, "Do you mind me asking...when?"

I frown. She was lucky I was even telling her and she was asking for more? "Actually, yeah, I do mind." I responded, my voice harsh.

Silver didn't wince at my abruptness, she seemed to completely understand, like since Embry broke up with _me_ I had the right to be mean to her. She gazed at me with so much sadness and compassion, I felt my throat constrict, "Three days ago." I answered, "It's been three days." I whispered to myself. That number didn't seem right, like it wasn't big enough. Was this the end or the beginning? How long was I going to grieve over this?

"What happened?" She whispered back to not startle me.

I shook my head, not knowing what happened, "I don't know. We were fine and then he just...after we...6 months, Silver. It's almost been six months." I didn't understand how he could just throw away those six months we had together—six _happy _months. There was nothing but happiness when we were together. Was that happiness gone now that _he _was gone?

My bottom lip started to tremble and I bit down on it to keep from sobbing. I wiped my tears away before Silver could see them.

We didn't speak after that. I stared at the TV not really paying attention to the images or the jokes being told from character to character. When someone knocked at the door, Silver jumped at the sudden pounding that broke our silence.

She got up to answer it and it was Seth. Seth; her perfect boyfriend, the one who loved _so much, _the one who couldn't keep his hands of her, the one who didn't dump her right after taking her virginity.

Being in the same room as the two them filled me with so much jealousy and pain I had to leave before they sealed the deal with a kiss. I snuck to my room and took a shower before crawling into my bed. I grabbed my laptop and went on Facebook, reminiscing on a time where Embry and I were happy and together.

I looked at countless pictures of Embry and me on Facebook until I heard the muffled sound of Silver and Seth yelling. I froze, trying to hear what they were saying but the ceiling was too thick and they were right above my head. I felt a weird feeling in my stomach like the reason they were fighting was because of me. My eyes filled with tears again, I didn't want them to fight because of _me_. Everywhere I went, hearts were being broken.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep with a painful lurching in my stomach.


	9. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: How is she?**

**Embry's POV.**

I woke up in the most comfortable bed I had ever slept in. I was pretty sure the comforter had feathers in it, so did the pillows. My limbs were sprawled in every direction because I could. Because this bed was big enough for me to do that. Sweet.

A bright orange light shined in my face and I welcomed it. The sun. It was nice to be woken up by the actual sun that felt hot on my face. Under my lids, shone a bright orange from the light beaming through them.

Laying in this huge bed, I actually felt right and good. I almost forgot about Forks and Amber, my mom and Amber, having to apply for college next month and Amber. _Almost _forgot about Amber. Not quite. Not yet. It was hard _not _to think about it when I was alone in a hotel room with her ruby bracelet glistening on the coffee table in the corner of my eye.

I had went searching for it in the woods a few days ago and I found it, half buried under mud, right next to my wallet, ripped up jeans and my broken cell phone.

There was a knock at the door and I sprung out of the bed, hoping it was who I thought it was. When I opened the door to find Laurence with her bright eyes, a cute grin and two cups of coffee in her hands, my whole body felt warmer, my heart started racing in my chest and I had to fight not to reach for her and pull her into my arms.

"Hey, dude," she smiled, looked me up and down then rolled her eyes, "Pyjama's would be nice. You don't have to sleep in your underwear."

I shrugged, "I've always slept in my underwear." I moved aside so Laurence could step into my room and set our coffees on a small, round table.

"I'll buy you some pyjama's, okay?" she offered with a smile that made my stomach go all floppy and weird.

"Thanks but you've already done so much." I shut the door and gestured around the hotel room that I could _never _afford with my pay check. A pay check I wasn't getting anymore since I had been fired for being absent for several work days. "Laue, this is way too much and I—"

"Shh, don't even worry," she closed the distance between us and pressed her finger on my lips, "My pleasure, baby, really, this"—she gestured around the room like I had—"was easy. My mom owns the place and she had two options; my new boyfriend could stay with us and we could have sex under their room or he could stay here for a few days or weeks a few miles away from me and my lady parts."

I frowned, still thinking this was too much. Even if Laurence's mom technically owned this Hilton hotel it didn't mean that this wasn't alloud or even _legal. _What would Paris Hilton think? The hotel must have been losing money with me ordering food and using this room without paying a dime.

Laurence ran her finger through my short and down my neck, "I love you." She said, her smile growing wider, showing off perfectly straight teeth.

"I love you, Laue."

"I love when you call me Laue. It makes me feel like we've known each other since forever. All my friends call me Laue and—I like when you call me Laue."

"Then I'll keep call you Laue." I brushed my lips against her ear then pressed my lips against her forehead.

"Do you have a nickname? Em? Emmy? Embro? Emby?"

The name slashed me like a whip to the back, "Don't call me Emby." I said, sounding harsher then I'd meant to but the thought of having Laurence call me that ridiculous nickname Amber gave me as I gave her an equally ridiculous nickname in return made my stomach turn with guilt and pain I couldn't handle.

Laurence pulled away to eye me suspiciously. She opened to her mouth then shook her head, "No Emby then…" She unwrapped herself from me and jumped on my bed. She crawled to my night table and spotted the ruby bracelet.

My stomach tightened when she touched it but I wanted to act as if her touching it didn't bother me so I stayed put even though I wanted to take the bracelet and put it where she couldn't find it.

"Ooh, pretty. I remember this; you bought this when we first met. Who was this for? Your mom?" She looked at me, expecting an answer.

Lying hadn't even crossed my mind before the truthful answer came out of my mouth, "No, I got it for my girlfriend—ex-girlfriend."

Laurence's brows rose in surprise, "What are you going to do with them now?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, having not thought of what to do with the bracelet since I had found it. Its rightful place was with Amber and I knew that I'd never get the chance to give it to her and giving it to Laurence was out of the question. That would not only be tacky but disrespectful to both women.

"Well we have a no-return policy at Kay's so…"

"I never thought of returning it." I admitted a bit sheepishly. I didn't want her to think that I was stick hopelessly in love with Amber, because I wasn't. I just felt really bad and I missed her. I wanted to be her friend again, like in the beginning.

"So you're keeping it?"

"I don't know."

"Give it to your ex. If you got it for her, give it to her. I'm more of an emerald kind of girl." She dangled the bracelet in front of her, watching the sunlight beam through it. She rested it on her wrist as if to see if it looked good on her but grimaced. Guess she was more of an emerald-girl. Whatever that meant.

"She wouldn't take it." I shook my head and walked towards Laurence to take the bracelet away from her and look at it for myself. "You don't know Amber. She'd flush this thing down the toilet after what…never mind." I shook my head, not wanting to talk about this.

Laurence got off the bed and skipped towards me. "Hey, are you okay?" she looked so worried; I reached for her face to smooth out the line between her furrowed eyebrows. She closed her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered, but I wanted to be _great. _I wanted to be guilt free and happy with Laurence. It wasn't that I wasn't happy though, I was ecstatic to have Laurence with me and all but the guilt was hard to handle. It wasn't necessary though. Amber was tough and several days had passed. She probably had a new boyfriend or two by now.

But I had to be sure.

I kissed Laurence's forehead real fast and walked to the hotel's phone and dialled Seth's cell phone number.

"Hello?" Seth answered after a few rings.

"Hey Seth? It's Embry…"

"Oh! Hi Embry, how are you? How's your imprint going? I saw a picture of her on Facebook—her name's Laurence, right?—she's beautiful dude." Seth rambled.

I rolled my eyes, he talked way to much than what was necessary, "Yeah, thanks. I know. That's not why I called though."

"Sup man? How can I help?"

"I wanted to know how…" I glanced over at Laurence who was blowing on her coffee and taking small sips to not burn her tongue, "How _she _was going?"

"_Who?_" Seth asked, sounding completely confused. I was about to hang up and call Silver or text Christina when he got it, "Oh! Amber? She's…she's not great." His bright and happy voice lowered in hype and volume. "She told Silver about you guys and, well, I've had better days. Women."

"She's still bummed?"

"Yeah, but I can handle her."

"Amber?" I questioned.

"No, Silver."

"I don't care about her, you—" I barked but inhaled deeply before I could say something to hurt his overly sensitive feelings, "How's Am? Is _she _bummed?"

"Yeah, Silver's pretty worried but I know Amber'll get over it. If it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be."

I nodded. I was so confused by all he was saying. How could Amber _still _be bummed? I was sure that I would be old news by now. She dated her ex-boyfriend for 4 months before breaking up with him and moving to Forks. She didn't even shed a tear for what's-his-name.

"Hey, dude, my mom's getting married. She wants to know if you're coming to the engagement party."

My eyes widened. I knew Sue was dating the chief of police—or Bella Cullen's dad—but I didn't know they were so serious to be getting married. Seth's dad had died about 3 years ago and Sue's known Charlie for years since he was best pals with Harry as a child and Sue and Harry were practically married from the first day they met. Sue was getting married. Weird.

Not that I wasn't happy for her, I was _really _happy for her, "When's the party?"

"After tomorrow. Are you bringing Laurence?"

I glanced over at Laurence who had plopped on the sofa and turned on the TV to watch the cooking channel. My dear sweet Laurence who absolutely adored chai lattes and roasting in the hot California sun. She would never want to go to cloudy, rainy old La Push. "I…don't really know."

"Well, I got to meet her, man. We're all dying to. You have to come. Quil's getting lonely. He spends _all _his time with Claire and he's turning into a big baby."

I chuckled, "I'll try."

"Awesome because I need help cleaning up the crap you left me in." she said in a joking tone, "Seriously man, Silver is _pissed._"

"How pissed?" I raised an eyebrow remembering the little blond that I consider my little sister, wondering what kind of trouble she could cause with her 5 feet and 5 inches of pure fury. I've seen kittens who were more menacing then that Silver Masson.

"She's a little fire cracker." Seth laughed then became a little serious, "You have no idea how strong she is. She's hurting me and I just…"

"Seth, if she's hitting you, you have to _get out._" I snickered.

"It's not that. It's Nahuel and her…it's not—" he sighed, "Never mind."

"Seth, do you think something's going on between Silver and Nahuel?" I asked, the words not making sense to me when I say them out loud.

Silver and Seth were the perfect couple, just like all imprinted couples were. But even without that minor detail, Silver and Seth were made for each other. I believed they were soul mates, with or without the imprint. They just had so much in common. They were both annoying and immature and the youngest of large groups. They were both kind of gay. I thought that even without the imprint, they would have found each other. They were each other's destiny.

Just like how Laurence was my destiny. What were the odds that I ran all the way over here—to California—and just so happened to walk into the one jewellery store that she worked in?

"No, she's not _doing _anything with Nahuel but I feel like…subconsciously, she _wants _to do things with him. And I don't mean…sexual things, no, it's like she'd be with _me _and be thinking about…" he sighed again, clearly frustrated with the whole thing, "It's nothing. Nahuel's a good guy. I don't know why I'm acting like this."

"Imprints." I explained in one simple word his weird behaviour. This love—this love so strong and magical—made us say and do crazy things. I dumped my dream girl for my imprint.

"Yeah," he sighed, "Going back to Amber, she's alright. Allot of guys are coming on to her ever since she came out about being single. It's downright sick."

My eyes narrowed, though I wasn't angry. I _wanted _her to start dating again but if she wasn't ready, I didn't want these guys forcing themselves on her. I shook my head, knowing there was nothing I could do about it, "Seth, I'm going to go now."

"Alright, cool. Hope to see you."

We hung up and rubbed my temple. I couldn't help but feel like I left a bigger mess than I thought.


	10. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: The Outsider**

**Amber's POV.**

"And I swear, that was the biggest dear I'd ever seen. 300 pounds maybe." Jordan made big hand gestures to show how large the deer really was, "So basically what I'm saying is, I almost died."

I stared at him through my bangs. I felt extremely bored and tired. It was either because it was the morning or because I really wasn't interested in Jordan's story about his near death experience when he hit a dear with his car. I didn't see how this was supposed to impress me.

I yawned and leaned my head back on the locker, letting my eyes close. Nothing much caught my interest these days and Jordan was far from being interesting. Ever since I told my friends about my break up with Embry, I didn't feel the need to pretend anymore.

"So Amber,"

When he said my name, I tried to focus on Jordon. It was hard to do so. I _really _looked at him. Jordon had dark hair, it was practically black. His skin was incredibly pale and his cheeks were always stained with a permanent pink blush. Or maybe he was just blushing now, I hadn't noticed him that much before and I didn't care right now. His eyes were the brightest shade of blue I had ever seen and my heart squeezed painfully in my chest.

It wasn't because of the beauty in his eyes; it was because I felt nothing. Jordan was more than just average looking, he might have been hot. But I didn't care because he wasn't Embry. I hated that I didn't like Jordan for the simple reason that he wasn't Embry. I hated that I didn't find any guy attractive because Embry.

He broke me. He broke me in the worst kind of way and I hated him for it. I hated him so much for what he had turned me into. I missed the old me that loved to laugh and dance. I missed her and Silver missed her and my friends missed her.

"I like you allot and I think it would be awesome if we got to know each other better."

I intended to say something nice but I didn't care enough to second guess my words, "Not interested Jason—"

"Jordon."

The bell rang and I took that as my queue to go, "Yeah, sorry." I turned around and went towards my class, not thinking back at Jordon or what I might have done to his feelings or more dramatically, his heart.

After school, I rode home with Silver. The whole day had passed in a blur.

I couldn't begin to say how much I appreciated her. She was taking such good care of me. She cooked for me because I was too tired to even try to eat. She scheduled all her days around my mood and asked my permission before going out. She was too sweet. I didn't deserve her.

I didn't realise it was the weekend until Silver mentioned herself.

My phone vibrated on the coffee table causing both me and Silver to gasp. Bernadette Peters was really loud when she vibrated.

I picked up my lime green Blackberry and looked at the colour ID. The number was familiar causing me to sigh. "Hello?" I answered. I got up so I wouldn't bother Silver who was watching TV.

"Hey, Amber?" The male voice was unfamiliar.

"It's me. Who's this?"

There was a long silence, "Andy," he uttered.

"Who?"

He cleared his throat, "You know? Andy, from History, English, Gym—"

"Oh, that Andy." I grumbled and rolled my eyes. I gripped tightly at my phone. I was so angry that this guy was calling me for God knows what. How insensitive were these boys to hit on a girl who was so, obviously, heartbroken? "How did you get my number?"

"You gave it to me." He replied very quickly.

"I did?" I tried to remember giving him my number but came out blank. I also couldn't remember any of my classes of today so I figured that I might have given him my number.

"Well, actually, Steve gave it to me."

"Steve." I cursed him and the land he walked on. He was such a jerk sometimes. How could he?

"Don't be mad at Steve." Andy begged, "He was just trying to help."

"Ugh." I sighed. There was nothing Steve could help Andy with to make me date him. Even if I wasn't completely heartbroken, I would never date Andy. He was too skinny, too nerdy, and too shy around pretty much everybody, I wanted no part of that. I didn't want to sound mean but I was _way_ out of his league and I could do much better.

"It's about the project."

"What project?" I demanded. I was getting really annoyed.

"You agreed to coming over my house for our project—the one in English class. We're supposed to re-enact a scene from The Outsiders—the book we read. You read it right."

I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. He was giving me a headache. I couldn't recall agreeing to working in teams with him but I regretted it. "What do you want?"

It sounded like someone was coaching Andy on what to say and the multiple voices in the background was giving me an even bigger headache.

"I need you to come over…to my house so we can watch The Outsiders. The book is practically identical to the movie."

"Is it for the project?"

"Yeah,"

"And is it going in the bulletin?"

"The what? Oh, you mean the report card. Yeah, it should count for something."

I sighed, "What's your address?"

Andy stuttered and stammered while giving me his address and I really wanted to hang up on him. I didn't want my grades to drop because I was so sad though. I didn't want Embry to win. I wondered if he was as miserable as I was without him. I told myself he was. I told myself he ran away to get away from the pain it was causing him to be away from me. I wished I knew why he didn't want to be near me, though. Maybe it would hurt less if I had a valid explanation.

I looked up Andy's house on Google maps and I saw that it was only a few blocks away. I decided to walk, it was raining but it was just a nice drizzle that didn't bother me. I told Silver I was going out, grabbed a jacket with a hood and the good umbrella and left the house.

I started walking and let my mind drift off. I pulled Bernadette Peters out of my purse and decided to look at my pictures. I don't know why I chose to torture myself like that but I just scrolled through hundreds of pictures of a happier me, Embry and of a happy me with Embry. I looked at our faces and we looked so happy, our kisses looked passionate, we didn't look pre-breakup at all and I missed that.

Warm tears rolled down my face and I put away my BlackBerry, having had enough for one day. I looked up and realised I had been walking in the wrong direction this whole time. I didn't understand how I had made this mistake but I shook it off and turned around to walk towards Andy's house.

Andy lived about ten minutes from my house. I arrived late since I was walking in the wrong direction for the first tem minutes but Andy didn't seem to mind when he let me into two story, green, wooden house.

He was all smiles when he let me into his home, "Hi Amber, are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing. I hated how observant he was.

I nodded, "I'm fine, let's just watch the movie."

He looked like he was going to say something but then he just nodded. I had nothing to worry about with Andy. He was way too shy to ever try anything with me. I was sure of that and that made me a tad more comfortable.

He led me to his living room and I sat on his forest green sofa. I crossed my hands in front of my chest for the simple reason that I didn't want to be there.

"Am I aloud to put my feet on the sofa?" I asked Andy.

This kid was so weird. There was a long and silent awkward moment before he nodded and turned on the movie.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I pulled out Bernadette Peters and texted Christina. Complained about how I was so out of it today that I accepted to work in teams with Andy. Christina texted back, saying that it wasn't so bad because he was cute in an Andy Samberg from SNL kind of way. I snickered because Andy did kind of look like Andy Samberg except Andy wasn't funny, he wasn't rich and he was nothing like Andy Samberg.

"Do you want chips or popcorn? Something to drink maybe? Soda, juice, beer?" Andy offered.

I glared at him, insulted that he'd think I would actually drink beer with him. This was a school project; not a party and definitely not a date, "Soda's fine, thanks."

Andy gave me my drink and made us some popcorn. Thankfully, he sat on the other side of the sofa—and far away from me. I wasn't sure what he was planning—inviting me over on the one day he had the house to himself—but he wasn't coming on to me at all, which was nice.

When the movie was over, Andy and I agreed on a scene to re-enact. We chose one of the last scenes with Ponyboy and Cherry. We scanned through our books to have a better idea on what to say. Working with Andy wasn't exactly fun, it was just business. Once we were done with said business, I decided it was time for me to go.

"You want me to drive you?" he offered.

I shook my head, "It's okay, I don't mind walking."

He walked me to the front door and left me there for a moment so he could get my jacket. And umbrella.

I noticed a small table pushed against the wall that had several knick-knacks on it. There were doilies, vases and a box that seemed to be made out of dark grey marble. I touched the cool, smooth surface and tried to lift a lid off some sort but it remained stuck. The box itself was also kind of heavy.

I stopped prying at it when I heard Andy returning with my belongings in hand.

"What's this?" I asked, pointing at the marble box.

Andy looked at the box, "Oh, that's my brother's urn." He shrugged.

I narrowed my brows. I wasn't sure what that meant and Andy seemed to get that.

"My big brother's ashes, Amber, he died when I was twelve."

My eyes widened and I felt a surge of sympathy for him. I couldn't imagine how that must have been. That sounded like the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. For that moment, I didn't feel my own sadness or pain because that was just minor compared to what Andy must have been through.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured, a little embarrassed from my attitude of before when I tried to pry the stone box open. What if I had succeeded? That would have been a disaster. I opened the door and it was raining a little heavier than when I first came.

"Can I drive you home?" Andy offered a second time.

I didn't turn to look at him as I watched the rain fall. "Sure,"

Andy's car was parked in the driveway. It was a old car—old in the sense that it was made in the nineties or something—it was bright red and had two doors.

I sat in the passenger seat and Andy started the car.

"How did you brother die?" I asked, I was dying to know what had happened. Maybe it was curiosity, maybe I wanted to feel somebody else's pain but I really wanted to know.

Andy looked at me, "It was cancer. I'm not sure what kind, my parents didn't want me too involved and then when he died…I didn't want to know after that. I didn't see how it would help me feel better."

"I-I'm so sorry, Andy."

"Don't be. These things happen." Andy shrugged and started his car. On the short drive to my house he made a quick summary of his brother's—Jonathan—death. He started having headaches and his parents thought he might need glasses but the optometrist saw something wrong and sent him to another doctor. Some kind of cancer developed in his eye, Andy wasn't sure, so they had to have his left eye removed so the cancer wouldn't spread to his brain and the rest of his body. But it had, and it killed him. Jonathan was 17.

I felt like my heart was in my stomach when I left Andy's car. The story was just so sad and unbearable. I couldn't have gotten away faster.

I usually went out on weekends but ever since the break up with Embry, I just couldn't. It was my first weekend as a single, heartbroken shrew. I missed Embry so much, it wasn't even funny. I wanted to see him so badly but I knew if I saw him I would kill him for what he'd done to me. It was weird how love and hate mixed together like that.

On Sunday—or maybe it was Saturday, I slept so much I couldn't tell how many days passed—Silver had an engagement party to go to.

She was so pretty in her strapless dress. The top half was black and the bottom half was magenta and all rippled up. She looked stunning in the dress and I couldn't help smiling just a little. I remembered the old days when Silver would have me do her hair so she could go on a dates with Seth. Since I wasn't like before, Silver went natural by making sure her hair was perfectly straight.

Did I really consider 4 months ago as _the old days_?

"Is Seth picking you up?" I asked.

"No, the family rides in a limo."

"They're really going all out with this party." I mumbled.

"There won't be a wedding." Silver defended them. I wasn't making judgement, I was just pointing out the obvious. She looked down at her beautiful dress. She put on some gold Chanel earrings and slipped her feet into pink, leopard skin shoes that I had never seen before. She really looked fancy tonight.

"Do you want me to get the chinchilla jacket?" I joked in a flat voice. I cursed myself for not being more enthusiastic. I was being mellow dramatic about Embry. So what if he dumped me? That didn't mean the world had stopped spinning. Why was I being so unreasonable?

Silver's head whipped in my direction and she stared at me with wide eyes. Her shocked expression made me feel even worse. How long had it been since I made a joke or made my little sister laugh?

Before Silver left, she invited me to come with her and I considered it. It wouldn't have been that bad to go out and possibly have fun with my sister and Seth and maybe Jacob and Quil like when Embry and I were dating.

Then I realised that hanging out with Embry's friends would be a step backwards in this breakup progress so I let my little sister go out in the cold January weather all by herself. I cursed Embry for ruining my social life.


	11. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: The Bitch.**

**Laurence's POV.**

I was going to a party in Forks, Washington—a cold, wet and sunless town. Was I supposed to be excited? I kind of appreciated going on vacation. I just wished it was somewhere nice like Jamaica or Mexico.

The mom of Embry's friend, Seth, was getting married and they wanted him to go to the engagement party. Embry wanted me to come and once he asked me, saying no wasn't even an option. I could never say no to him, not when he asked me so nicely.

I checked my make-up one last time and made sure my purple dress wasn't wrinkled then opened the door. My heart skipped several beats when I gazed at Embry. He was so handsome in a classy get-up of black pants and a blue buttoned down shirt with a tie. I'd never seen him in anything other than jeans and a tee-shirt. I couldn't help smiling.

"What?" Embry seemed a little self conscious.

"Nothing. I just love you allot. That's all."

Embry smiled, "That's awesome." He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I know, right."

Someone cleared their throat, causing Embry and I to disperse.

"Mom!" Embry complained.

Embry's mom's arms were crossed over her chest as she shook her head at the both of us, "Don't run late." She said before leaving the house and heading to the party.

I had a budge—a tiny budge—that Embry's mom didn't like me. I wasn't sure why , since we had only been here for a few hours—but she'd been avoiding me and didn't seem interested in learning who I was.

I tried not to let it bother me. How could she not like me? She didn't even know me. Once we'd sit down and talk, she'd love me like everyone else.

Embry sighed, "She doesn't like when beautiful woman corrupt me." He said with a grin and pulled me into his chest again.

"I'm corrupting you, now? We'll that's great." I smiled as if that didn't bother me at all. I mean, why would I care about what Embry's mom thought of me? Oh yeah! Because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him! If any mother mattered, it was his. I sighed.

"Are you okay?" Embry worried, his eyebrows knitting together.

I didn't like when he worried about me when it wasn't necessary. I stretched onto my tip toes and kissed his forehead, "I'm fine, we should go. I don't want us to be late." I pulled on his arm.

"We won't be late." Embry said and I followed him to the kitchen, "I'm going to eat a little before we go. I get self-conscious when I eat in public." He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes, "We better not be late."

"We won't be late."

We arrived to the party late and I was so embarrassed. The room was dead silence before we came in. I whispered "I'm sorry" to about anyone that glanced in our direction and Embry led us to a round table that was seated with several other man who all smiled at our arrival.

I sat next to a handsome boy with bronze skin and light eyes. His gaze was focused on my exposed cleavage for several seconds before he looked up at my face with a nervous grin.

I smiled back at him, having been used to this kind of attention. When you've had a size D cup size since the tenth grade, guys tend to notice. Embry was the first guy to not stare at my chest and I loved him for it.

I looked at the stage where the bride, Sue, stood with a glass of champagne in her hand. Everyone at the long rectangular table on the stage was beautiful. It was easy to believe that they were all from the same family. Three of them had pale white skin and I could see their gold eyes from where I sat in the large room.

I recognized them as the vampires right away. Embry had told me about them and he said I had no reason to fear them. I so wasn't scared.

I presumed that the only humans up there were Sue, the other russet skinned, elderly woman, Charlie—the groom—and the petite blond who was sandwiched between—it was just a wild guess of mine—two werewolves. Seth—the son of the bride—and Leah—the girl werewolf and daughter of the bride. I didn't know who the petite blond was but by the way she looked at Seth, I could only guess she was his girlfriend—and possibly imprint.

The bride made a speech that I paid attention to because I felt so bad for arriving late. Once the speeches were over, the incredibly attractive waiters came in—all male, all super sexy. None of them were nearly as sexy as my Embry. I didn't have to look twice to know that.

"So, you're the famous Laurence." Said the large man with long hair and a grin on his face, "It's really nice to meet you. I'm Jacob." He offered me his hand.

My jaw dropped. The famous Jacob Black! The one I had heard so much about. Embry's best friend and Alpha, "Dude! I know who you are! Don't act like we're strangers. Come here!" I got up and gave Jacob a huge hug.

Jacob laughed.

The guy who was staring at my chest earlier laughed nervously, "Hey, I'm Embry's best friend too." He grinned.

"Oh, you're Quil?"

"Sure," he shrugged and got up with open arms.

I was about to give him a hug when Embry interrupted, with a frown directed to Quil, "He's not Quil. He's Hunter." He hit the boy in the back of the head. "That's Quil."

He pointed at a bigger, paler man with a nice smile, "Hey, Laurence." He got up to hug me.

"Come on! I'm Seth's best friend!" Hunter pointed at the stage where the son of the bride sat, "Don't I get a hug?"

I was going to hug him when Embry stopped me, "Hunter, you disgust me. Sit down." Embry pushed Hunter back in his seat.

I glance at the dark skinned man. He was amazing looking. He had dark skin and light brown eyes, his head was shaven and his facial features were practically perfect. He had a manly jaw, a straight nose…he was perfect…

"Who's you best friend?" I smiled at him.

He seemed a little shy and surprised to see me talking to him but answered, "That girl, the beautiful blonde on stage." He turned around and pointed at the girl next to Seth. "Oh, and Laurence, my name is Nahuel." He nodded. He had the slightest accent that I had never heard before but it fascinated me with its exoticness.

The food came in and it was delicious. We all talked like old friends which made me feel less self-conscious of people disliking me. I knew that Embry's mom would come around eventually.

We were all laughing when I got up, "Can you guys excuse me? I have to go…you know?" I left to go to the washroom. It wasn't too hard to find. The Clearwater's had rented a room at a hotel, or something, to do this party. It was a tad extravagant—with a huge guest list—but I loved it! And I loved all of Embry's friends and I loved the food. I couldn't wait to see my next day in Forks.

When I reached the door of the washroom, I saw _her _doing her make-up. The petite blonde that was on the stage was in a room that I was about to enter! I remembered her name was Silver since I had heard it in the speech—Sue had called her _my future-daughter-in-law_. She had to be Seth's imprint! I was sure of it! But was her name really Silver? That sounded more like a nickname than an actual name.

OMG! I was in the room with another girl that had been imprinted on! I had so many questions to ask her. We were practically sister. I was extremely excited to get acquainted with this stranger.

"Hi!" I said, using my most friendly and welcoming voice. My smile came naturally; I was psyched to meet this girl.

She didn't hear me. She put her purse on the counter next to the sink and rummaged through it.

"My name is Laurence." I presented myself but my throat must have been dried because she didn't seem aware of my presence. Maybe she was deaf. That would have been so sad! I got settled at the sink next to her and put my purse on the counter like she had.

She pulled her lip gloss out of her bra which caused me to giggle. We already had so much in common, "I do that too! All the time. What's your name?" I cocked my head to the side and focused my gaze on her so she could notice my presence. I was getting a little nervous with her ignoring me like this.

My staring seemed to affect her because after applying her pink lip gloss, she laughed and turned to face me with a smile, "Okay, I don't like you, so, please stop talking to me." She didn't say her words harshly but they were really mean. She then rubbed her lips together as if she hadn't just insulted me and turned to look at herself in the mirror again.

"How could you not like me? You don't even know me." I asked incredulously. I thought this boat had sailed. The _I-don't-know-Laurence-but-I'm-gonna-hate-her _boat and it seemed to be getting even more popular.

"I know enough," she muttered.

"What did you say?"

She sighed and turned to face me. For a fraction of a second she seemed intimidated—I was much bigger than she was. It didn't matter though. I wasn't getting in a fight today. Or any day.

"Here's the thing, _Laurence_," She kept a sweet smile on her face. She said my name like it was a curse word. It made her seem meaner though. More smug and intimidating. "You might not know who I am, but I know who you are. I don't like you. Deal with it."

I wrinkled my nose. How nasty was this girl. She looked like a real bitch from where I was standing. She really seemed like she had a personal problem with me. Personally. But I didn't know her. "What's _your _problem?"

"To be honest; you are."

My jaw dropped. I was sick and tired of being judged like this, "Why? I've never done anything to you or your family."

She scoffed, "Funny you should say that. Do you know Amber?"

"No," I answered without even thinking about the name. It didn't seem familiar to me when asked so abruptly.

She laughed, "Amber is Embry's ex-girlfriend. The girl he was in love with before he met you. You know? The girl he was with when you two _started_ dating."

I was so surprised and confused. Had I misinterpreted everything? Had I imagined the whole thing? She wasn't the imprint but Seth's friend? She was Embry's ex-girlfriend? I shook away all guilt because none of this was my fault and she had no right to be this mean to me."You're Amber."

She laughed once, "Worse, I'm her sister." And now she was threatening me. I couldn't believe my ears!

My heart was beating fast and I was fully aware that things would be getting very ugly, very quickly. Even though on the inside I was kind of freaking out, on the outside, I was being brave and focussing on the fact that this bitch was crazy, "Should I be afraid?" I looked at her up and down—her frame was tiny and I was at least 15 pounds heavier than she was, "I don't think so." I snorted.

"I _think_ you should get out of my face."She retorted. Threatening me, _again._ She really thought she was scary. I looked at her shinny blond hair, her round face and bright eyes and wondered on what planet was this girl—not woman but literally a _girl_—a threat.

"Thinking isn't you high point, isn't it?" I pouted, teasing the baby in front of me.

"Blonde joke; very creative." She rolled her eyes.

I don't know why I said what I said next. I guess I wanted her to feel as bad as she made me feel when she ignored me just a few minutes ago, "If Amber is anything like you, I see why Embry would dump her for me." I grinned when I saw her eyes widen and she backed up a little. I hit her right where it hurt.

"Do you really think the world takes you seriously?" she asked me, "With those giant things attached to your chest you call breast?"

I held my head up high. That was a blow I had received on many occasions, "Jealous?" I smirked. It was clear that her breasts were smaller than mine and why would she make fun of mine if she wasn't self-conscious about her own? That's a little psychoanalysis for you.

She scoffed, "Oh yes! I'm so jealous! I wish that every time I entered a room everyone gawked at my breasts. That's all you are; a pair of boobs. Even Seth thinks so," She makes her voice deeper as if she was imitating her boyfriend, "If you saw the size of this girl's boobs, you'd see why Embry can't just be her friend."

I didn't let her see how that hurt me. I knew in my heart of hearts that Embry loved me. He never even noticed my breast and he hasn't tried anything funny or inappropriate since we got together, "First of all; at least I have breast. Second of all; I can guarantee you that Embry doesn't notice other women's breast."

She gasped and I knew I had seriously offended her. She was protective off her man. I used her weakness against her.

"Which clearly isn't the case with your Seth."

Her cheeks flushed and she glared at me. Her nostrils flared and she clenched her fist.

"You want to hit me right now." I noticed, my grin widening. I was having a lot of fun with this pip squeak, "You want to hit me because your sister can't hold on to a man."

"You. Are. A slut!" She hissed. It was like watching a fire cracker explode. I would have laughed if I didn't hate her so much.

"And you're a bitch!"

Her face got all red and, with all the strength in her tiny body, she pushed me.

I couldn't believe it! Not to mention she was strong for a little thing. I stumbled back into the wall of the bathroom stall. Her strength had sent me flying and totally ruined my hair. I was caressing the wall to get myself back on my feet.

I turned to glared at her, "You did not just do that."I stood up straight and starting taking off my hoop earring.

This bitch was going down.


	12. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: Bruises**

**Embry's POV.**

All the guys approved of my imprint. I wasn't seeking their approval but to know I had it was really awesome. Quil was pretty smug about the whole thing. He always told me imprinting was a good thing and I never believed him. Seth's friend Hunter just kept making inappropriate comments on how hot Laurence was. I was fully aware of it and I didn't need him reminding me.

Laurence was gone at the bathroom for just a few minutes when I saw Emily at the other side of the room with a very panicked expression on her face. She hurried towards the stage where Seth and Leah were still seated.

Emily hit the table in front of Seth and signalled for him to lean forward.

Leah frowned, noticing the anxious look on her cousin's face.

"Silver got in a fight in the bathroom!" She hissed in a low voice.

No one at my table heard what Emily said because no one else was paying attention. We were pretty far from the stage but I was able to hear everything.

"What?" Seth said in disbelief.

Emily jolted, frustrated to have to repeat herself, "There's a fight in the bathroom."

Sue was walking past Emily to go on the stage and take her seat so she heard, "What?" she cried, "A fight? Who?"

"Silver."

Seth and Leah had already gotten up and we're on their way to the washroom.

"And who?" Sue pushed.

"I can't remember her name! That girl that came with Embry."

When Emily uttered those words, I clearly heard the sound of a woman crying out in pain. I wasn't the only one to have heard it. That was a loud scream.

I got out of my seat and strode to the washroom. Following behind Seth and Leah and several people followed behind us. The closer we got to the washroom, the more audible the sound of girls squealing became.

Seth and I picked up the pace.

When we got to the washroom room we had before us; Silver and Laurence pulling at each other's hair and squealing like school girls. We were both frozen for a second. I couldn't believe what I was looking at.

Seth snapped out of it first and marched towards his imprint and grabbed her around her waist from behind with unbelievable strength. Silver continues to kick and struggle to attack Laurence.

Laurence's fixed her dress before punching Silver in the stomach.

Silver coughed and reaches for Laurence's dress and ripped her strap causing Laurence to burst into a fit of cursing. I got to Laurence and wrap my arms around her from behind much more gently than Seth and try to soothe her but Laurence didn't see any reasoning once her dress was ripped.

Silver laughed at Laurence's displeasure and Seth tightened his grip on Silver, knocking the wind out of her.

"Enough." He said through clenched teeth. Seth's dark cheek were flushed and his expression was so hard. I had never seen Seth so angry before. He dragged Silver out of the room and she clawed at him arm so he'd set her free.

I glared at her on her way out. I couldn't believe Silver. I couldn't believe she would do this to me. I was shocked by her actions. I never knew she was capable of being so heartless.

"Ow…" Laurence moaned in pain.

I turned her to see her face, twisted in agony, "I'm sorry." She whimpered, too embarrassed to look up at me.

"Are you okay, baby?" I lifted her chin and examined her face. "Oh, no, these are going to turn into bruises." I gently grazed her cheek red cheek with my fingers and she winced slightly causing me to sigh. I wasn't a really violent guy and I could never hurt a girl but at that moment, I could've strangled Silver for what she did to Laurence.

"It's not that bad." She mumbled.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here."

"Why does that girl hate me?"

I looked at her beautiful face that was probably going to be bruised if we didn't get some ice on it and didn't understand how anyone could hate her. She was amazing and so nice and Silver….Silver had no right.

I gave her a hug and she asked me not to let go for a few seconds. So I held her and told I loved her and that tomorrow I'd take her back home.

The sound of Seth's loud footsteps and mumbling warned us of his presence. He entered the bathroom with trembling fist and grabbed Silver's purse off the counter. His fists were tightly clenched as he stopped in front of us and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "Silver is just so…I told her not to…I just…" he stammered clenching and unclenching his fist and taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"Are you okay, dude?" I asked. I kept one arm around Laurence's waist and reached for Seth shoulder with the other.

"No, I'm not fine. I'm so sorry, Laurence. I'm sorry that my girlfriend is so, freaking…" he couldn't even finish his sentences. His face was twisted in such rage and frustration, I couldn't help feeling a little bad for the kid.

"Can I help in any way?"

Seth nodded, "Take these to her, please?" he handed me her purse and jacket, "I can't even look at her right now." He shook his head.

"Yeah, no problem." I agreed right away and gave Seth a pat on the shoulder. People were still gossiping outside of the washroom when I got out with Laurence by my side. I fetched our jackets and murmured for her to go to the car and not look back so I could speak to Silver.

She did not argue and kissed my cheek.

It was pretty cold outside—well, Laurence thought it was cold—so I was surprised to see Silver in the January weather trembling in the cold without a coat on. I didn't pity her at all. I wanted her to freeze at that moment. But Seth had sent me here to give her the jacket, so I did.

I looked at her face. I had grown so found of it in these last few months. To me, her face meant sweet and childish innocence, that was how her sister saw her and I saw her that way too. I always thought she was sweet kid who wouldn't hurt a fly.

I was wrong, because she was the type of girl who beat up her closest friend's soul mate. That was the kind of girl she was. Her face wasn't cute at all to me, even though she did look vulnerable and her face turned pink out of the freezing temperature, I saw no bruises. Laurence would have a bruise.

I shoved her purse and jacket in her chest because I was sick of seeing her shiver and shake.

She didn't put it on. She just clutched at her things as I glared at her.

"You were like a sister to me." I said, feeling nothing but rage toward her. I knew Seth probably made her feel terrible for the awful thing she'd done but _I _wanted to make her feel worse. She deserved every bad thing that would happen to her, "Yet you refuse to accept the one thing that makes me happy."

"You were happy before."

"What do you want?"

"You know what I want." She seemed dead and emotionless. She was giving up this hopeless fight so I reconsidered yelling and screaming and possibly murdering her. I wouldn't do that to Seth. And I knew what she wanted. She wanted things to go back to the way things were. She wanted me to get back together with Amber and forget all about Laurence. I couldn't believe she was actually asking me to sacrifice that much.

I sighed, "Not gonna happen. Do you want me to say I'm sorry? Because I can't. I did love Amber and I don't regret our relationship. It has made me a better man. I _am_ sorry she got hurt and I wish she would get over me because she could do way better." I thought about what I said and shrugged when I realised that was all I could do. I knew Amber was over me. We'd been over for less than a week but still, "That's all." I started walking away, "Oh, yeah, and I really don't like you anymore, so we're no longer friends. The only reason I'm considering to tolerate you is for Seth. And he's not worth endangering my Laue. So long Masson." I walked away from Silver and genuinely hoped it would be the last time I saw her.

I stepped into Laurence's black BMW and looked at her.

She was just looking in front of her and shaking her head, "I'm such an idiot." She muttered so low she thought I wouldn't hear.

"It's all her fault." I said, "She's obviously psychotic." I kissed Laurence's forehead and started the car. When I drove away from the building, I saw Nahuel comforting Silver in the cold as she tremble and sneezed. I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Nahuel was a great guy and he shouldn't have to deal with Silver garbage like the rest of us had to. had

I drove us to my house and Laurence didn't speak on the whole drive. Once in the house I gave her a bag of frozen peas to put on whatever spot was bothering her.

She immediately held it to her ribs, "Fuck her! I'm so fucking pissed." Laurence loved to swear, especially when she was mad.

"What happened anyway?" I asked out of curiosity. Part of me wished she wouldn't tell me because she would just give me more reasons to despise Silver Masson.

She answered and told me everything. How she'd just wanted to talk to her and be her friend because she was an imprint too, but Silver started yelling at her and they started to call each other names until Silver erupted and pushed her. Laurence didn't fight often but if someone pushed her, she couldn't help pushing back—even though she didn't exactly push her but kneed her in the face.

My clenched fists started to tremble.

Laurence was surprised to see me react this way, "Dude! Calm down! It's okay. I'm okay." She reached over the table and placed her hand on my clenched fist, "I hate her too. I hope she gets hit by a car." Laurence sighed, "This is _not _how I wanted tonight to end up."

I sighed.

"What do we do now? I thought we would be partying all night. We didn't even get to hit the dance floor." Her lips turned downwards and she rested her head on the table, "Ow. I am _so _disappointed."

"I'm sorry, Laurence." I whispered. "I feel terrible. I could die from how awful I feel. Because of me, you're in all this pain and you're going to have bruises and—" I broke off into a muffled sob. I hid half my face, feeling embarrassed and hating Silver for making all this happen.

"Don't cry, baby, please." Laurence got up and stood in front of me. She pulled my hand away and started kissing my face, "This is my fault. My entire fault. You didn't do anything. Please don't cry! I can't handle it." She started to whimper so I stopped crying so she wouldn't start.

I looked at her, "I'm sorry."

"_I'm_ sorry. Let's not talk about this ever again. Tomorrow, we'll go on a road trip back home to sunny California and it'll be like that bitch never existed."

I chuckled at the likeliness of that possibility. I wanted that to be true but the chances were that Silver would always have a tiny part in our lives.

"There you go. A laugh and a smile." She kissed me lips and I held her there for a while. My heart raced and her lips moved on mine. Kissing Laurence was always like something from another planet. The sensation was out of this world.

"Want to take me to your room?" Laurence asked, gazing into my eyes.

My thoughts that were all jumbled up a few seconds ago were now completely focused. I wanted to be normal like the other wolves that had imprinted but I couldn't just forget about Amber. It was hard to forget when it was all so tragic. Her face and eyes would forever be engraved in my head. I would never forget how she cried and begged for me not to leave. Amber was always strong but that day, she made herself so vulnerable.

Laurence waited for me to reply.

"I don't know."

"Oh." Laurence looked away with an embarrassed expression.

"Laurence, it's just that…sex pretty much _destroyed _my last relationship and—"

"And you're afraid if we have sex we'll break up?"

"No—"

"You're afraid that you'll be disappointed and we won't be the same?"

"No!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I…don't know."

I didn't really know why I was saying no. I loved Laurence. Of course I _wanted _to take her my room but every time I thought of being intimate with Laurence, I thought about my last sexual encounter with Amber. It was such a nightmare. It was even more awkward than my first time and every time I thought about it, I wanted to punch myself in the face. The way her body tensed up and held me to her, I knew she wanted me to stop. She _told_ me to keep going but her body was telling me to stop. But I didn't listen to her body, I listened to her voice. I had screwed everything up with Amber when I took her to my room.


	13. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28: Kidnapped.**

**Embry's POV.**

I was surprised to see how fast Laurence let everything go. She pried for a while, but let things go. She didn't want to seem like she was _begging_ me to sleep with her. To her, that was the guy's job.

We did end up in my room, but only so Laurence could clean up her things and put them in her bag to be ready to leave tomorrow. Part of Laurence wanted to stay and part of her wanted to go. She wanted to see the beach I had grown up in and go dirt biking.

"We don't _have _to go." I said to Laurence, while making my bed. I figured she would want to sit on it later.

"I know but I'm so embarrassed." She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists, "You know when you do something or say something stupid but you don't realize it was stupid till, like, five years later? And then you're like, _Why the fuck did I say that?_"

I knew exactly what she was talking about. "I thought we were going to act like none of this happened?" I grinned, to lighten the mood.

She sighed, "Yeah, I did say that." She lay down on my bed, "My dress is ripped." She pouted.

I had completely forgotten about the beautiful, long, lilac coloured dress she was wearing tonight. So much had gone on tonight that how flattering the dress was to every inch of her body was the last thing on my mind.

I chuckled.

"What?" Laurence sat up with a frown.

"I love how after all that's gone on tonight, you still remember the slight detail of your dress being ripped."

Laurence rolled her eyes and smiled, "Have I ever mentioned how my I loved you?"

"Yes. You have."

"Good. Because it's important." Laurence got off my bed and picked up her night bag, "Do you mind if I take a quick shower?"

"Of course not, try not to get in any fights."

Laurence's eyes widened and she glared at me. She didn't think my joke was funny and I kicked myself for saying it. Laurence took a quick shower and was back in my room wearing a big t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants to sleep in. Her black hair was soaking wet and a tad curly. I had never known that Laurence's hair was naturally wavy. She was beautiful.

She had a towel in her hand and was trying to dry her hair. "What?" she bit her lip, sheepishly.

"You're gorgeous." I said.

"Are you kidding, Embry? I'm not even wearing makeup."

I walked up to her and took the towel out of her hands. I threw the towel on the floor and grabbed Laurence's face.

She gasped and her breathing became uneven.

I just wanted to look at her. I had never seen Laurence without makeup before. Come to think of it, I had never seen any of my girlfriends without makeup. Amber always had a bag of makeup up nearby and she refused to leave the house without it.

Without makeup, Laurence almost looked like a completely different person; her skin looked paler without the blush, her eyes looked lighter without the eyeliner and mascara. She took my breath away.

I knew I had never felt this was about anyone before. Not even Amber. I couldn't limit my relationship with Laurence because of what I went through with Amber. I had only known Laurence for a few days but I knew she was going to be the most important thing in my life from now on and I was done being afraid of ruining things with her like I had with Amber. Laurence wasn't Amber because with Amber, I always knew something was going to tear us apart.

I just meant to touch my lips to hers, I didn't mean for things to get out of hand. But the second our lips touched, Laurence clung to me and my heart started racing. The blood burned in my lips and Laurence's hand left my skin tingling.

My body acted by itself and my arms were around Laurence's waist. We stepped on each others' toes and fell on my bed causing Laurence to giggle. She started removing my tie and my hands traced the incredibly soft skin on her back.

Her breathing became erratic and she got my tie off. She started unbuttoning my shirt with clumsy fingers. I pulled her t-shirt over her head and it was hard to remember how to breathe once her breast were exposed in front of me. I'd never seen such large breasts; I was overwhelmed with so many feelings of desire and lust.

I started kissing down her throat and shoulder, my hand was trembling. I was too nervous to really touch her. It wasn't hard to remember the last time I had felt this much desire. And the flashbacks to that moment in my life made it hard for me to not push Laurence away.

She moaned and continued unbuttoning my shirt. She peeled my shirt off me and threw it on the floor.

We lay on my bed, our lips lingering on each other and my hand skimming up and down her waist. I was barely touching her skin, afraid I'd screw up.

Laurence pulled away to look at me, "What wrong? You're distant."

I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her, completely speechless. She was so close and almost naked. I was so in love that I was too afraid to try anything.

Laurence understood that, "I love you. I love you so much and I'm sad that I make you uncomfortable. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You can't screw up with me. It's impossible. You and I are going to be together from now on. Whether you screw up or not." She appeared to be so sincere. I knew she meant every word of what she was saying.

I didn't want her to feel bad, I _did _want this. I wanted to be with Laurence for now and the rest of my life. I was ready to start the rest of my life now.

"I love you." I whispered and kissed her lips.

I let everything go and we made love for the first time. I didn't think about Amber, or Silver, or the embarrassing situation at Sue's party. Laurence was the center of my universe. She was my everything and I never forgot it because being with her was the most amazing experience of my life.

When we were done, Laurence held me tight. She lay her head on my chest and intertwined her fingers with me.

"I love you." She said, "I told you, you had nothing to worry about." She kissed our hands and sighed.

I was speechless. I just stared at the beautiful woman at my side—the woman that I loved so deeply—and was struck with so much happiness. My heart swelled with the love I felt for my imprint and the desire to keep her happy forever.

"I feel so special." She snuggled closer to me.

"You _are _special." I hugged her and kissed her dark hair.

"Let's sleep." She whispered relaxed into my side.

I was just drinking it all in. I was still in shock of how absolutely happy I was. Of course every amazing moment always had to come to an abrupt end.

My phone rang.

I wasn't going to pick it up at first. Then I looked at the time and saw that it was barely past six. I frowned. I wasn't used to being up or even receiving phone calls at this early. I reached for my pants on the floor without bothering Laurence who was glaring at me and picked up.

"What 's up?"

"Bad. Bad. This is _very _bad." Jacob panicked.

"What's going on? Is somebody hurt?" I held Laurence tighter to my side.

"Seth is freaking out. Silver's missing and we're pretty sure Nahuel kidnapped her. She's in danger, Embry."

I was frozen at first. I didn't understand what this had to do with me. I hated how I felt a sudden pang in my gut at the thought of Silver being in danger. The thought of her being kidnapped sounded impossible. Especially her being kidnapped by Nahuel, a harmless and all around good guy.

"She's with Nahuel. Where's the danger in that?" I asked.

"He's in love with her, man. He'll change her. _He's _venomous, remember? Not like Nessie. He could change her and she'd be…dead to the world."

The word dead made me snap up into a sitting position with Laurence still in my arms. She eyed me with the most confused expression.

Silver couldn't die. It wasn't for me but for Seth, and Amber. When we were dating, Amber always spoke about her undying love for her sister. I had never seen anything more deep and true than Amber's love for Silver.

And _I _loved Silver. She _was _like my sister, for so many reasons. Not only was she the sister of my ex-girlfriend, but she was the imprint of my brother. She was also the girl I loved to tease, annoy and get on her nerves.

"I'll be with you in a sec." I hung up and jumped out of bed. I put on some sweats and started looking around for things that I didn't need; cell phone, keys, a t-shirt.

"Um, should I know about something?" Laurence was sitting up in my bed with her hair puffed up and my sheets wrapped around her.

I didn't have time to feel bad but I did anyways. I didn't want to break any bad news to her. "Silver…was kidnapped by a half-vampire who may or may not change her. Most likely against her will and if I know Silver…she's scared and wants to be home with her mom and sister." My throat swelled up at the thought of Silver and Amber's combined pain.

I thought Laurence would be pissed that I was leaving her to save the "bitch" who kicked her ass at the party.

Laurence completely surprised me with her horrified expression, "Ohmigod! Silver was kidnapped by that dude? What are you doing sitting here talking to me? Seth needs you and Silver…find her! Oh my god!" she clamped her hands on her mouth after realising how loud she was being in the morning with my mom only a few doors away.

"You sure you don't mind me leaving like this?"

She bit her lips, "I mean, I don't _want _you to leave but Silver's in trouble and if it were me, I'd hope she'd let Seth go."

"I'll hurry, okay? My mom usually makes breakfast in the morning and if you need friends to hang out with you can call Emily, she's Sam's wife and she's about your age." I was rushing through my sentences, and throwing my shirt on the floor since I would be phasing anyways. "You can call Kim, she's my age and she's Jared's imprint. You can also call Jacob's sister Rachael. They might be lonely since we're all out today. The numbers are on the fridge." I kissed her forehead and sped out of the room.

Half way to the door, my heart pierced at the premonition of a long departure. I went back to my room and grabbed Laurence's face—who's expression hadn't changed since the quickness of my leave—and kissed her as hard and passionately as I could in 3 seconds.

I was still uneasy while walking away from her but I knew I had some business to take care of. My pack needed me. Seth needed me. And Silver needed me. Silver was always, directly connected to Amber in my head, so I moved faster and phased in the woods.


	14. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29: Life without my sister**

**Amber's POV**

My mother was the person to tell me about the end of my life. She was sitting at the dining table with a blank expression on her face and the phone in front of her like she was expecting an important phone call. Her hands that were only a few inches from the telephone were trembling. Her cheeks were flushed and her eye lashes were wet. She barely looked at me when I came upstairs.

I was always very close to my mom. She had me when she was so young; I had always been like her best friend. I noticed right away that something was terribly wrong and I wondered how long it had been going on. Ever since the break up, I was kind of dead to the world. In other words, I hadn't really spoken to my mom since the break-up.

My mother asked me to sit down.

My heart was thudding in my chest and I could barely breathe past the lump in my throat. I sat on the chair closest to her and put my hands on hers. "Mommy?" I whispered.

She looked at me. She seemed so lost and apologetic. _Oh my God, what did she do? _Was all I could ask myself, because _she _seemed sorry, like _she _had done something wrong. Once she told me what was on her mind, I didn't believe it at first and thought she was kidding.

Silver hadn't come home the night before, which was out of character for her. She never stayed out passed curfew and always called if she would. She was the perfect daughter and the fact that she wasn't home the day after the party wasn't normal.

I wished I could tell myself that she was coming back soon, that she was probably just out doing something bad like robbing a bank or doing drugs or something. But I knew Silver wasn't anything like that, even if she _had _robbed a bank or gotten high, she would've came home before midnight so we wouldn't worry about her.

It's funny how my perspective changed at that very instant. Only a few hours earlier, my biggest issue was that I would have to live without the man I truly loved and now, my sister was gone. I forgot all about Embry and all my thoughts revolved around my sister. I couldn't even wrap my head around the fact that she was in terrible danger. It didn't make sense. That was the type of thing that happened on TV or to other people's family on the news. But it wasn't supposed to happen to me.

I didn't hide my tears. I wasn't embarrassed to cry over the person I loved the most in the world. I sobbed for my sister, the one person I would actually endure torture and die for. I couldn't help remembering Sophie Fenton and Elisabeth Greenwood, the two girl that went missing a few months ago and they're bodies were found dead a few days after.

They were both friends of Silver's.

I cried that whole day and called all of Silver's friends. Even though my mom had called them all, I had to try. Maybe they were lying to my mom, maybe Silver didn't want my mom knowing where she was, maybe…

But she wasn't at any of their houses. We went to Melanie's, Naika's, Anne and Mellissa's, Seth's, Jacob's....

I caught a glimpse of the Cullen's. They weren't surprised to see me at all, but they were all in a rush and my presence seemed to frustrate them. I just asked if they had seen Silver or Seth and they replied that they hadn't seen her since the night before. I only spoke to them one by one. I would be speaking to Carlisle and he would be needed in the other room so they would send Alice and she would be needed so they'd leave me with Rosalie...

When I was left with Bella, I asked if Nahuel was there. Silver and he were best friends so I figured he would either know where she was or be very worried. Bella shook her head and apologized, then walked me to my mom's car.

I sobbed while driving home.

The cops found Silver's car, abandoned in a far away neighbourhood.

I became frantic and didn't go to school the next day. I recommenced crying myself to sleep with horrible cramps of my sister's well being. Again, I couldn't imagine what was worse than not knowing. With everyday that passed, I wondered when would be the day that I would hear of her death.

I had mostly nightmares.

Silver started passing on the news. At first, it was just local, but afterwards, people all around America and the world knew of Silver, and the Cullen's—bless their souls—offered a reward to whomever found our Silver.

One day, my phone rang. I always rushed for it in hopes that it was Silver telling us she was okay and coming home and was terribly sorry for making us worry. But it wasn't Silver. It was a girl frantically talking French and it took me a few second to realise that it was my best friend from Montreal, Cynthia.

She started crying when she found out that it was all true. She had seen Silver on the News and couldn't believe her eyes. Cynthia was in Forks the very next day, crying with me and put up flyers for a missing girl.

I missed allot of school but school didn't miss me. People came over nearly every day for updates. There was nothing I could tell them. The Cullen's had disappeared and so had Seth and Nahuel.

I was surprised to see Andy come over with so much sympathy in his eyes.

"Hey," I said. Cynthia was in the shower and my mom was talking to the cops on the phone in her bedroom.

"I heard about your sister and Amber, I'm _so _sorry."

Every time someone new mentioned Silver, it hurt more than the last. I bursted into tears at the door way and Andy shyly hugged me with his bony body.

"There's nothing worse than _not _knowing." I sobbed.

"I know, I know." He agreed flatting my hair and hugging me tighter.

Andy sat with me and Cynthia for a few hours. I asked him to talk about his brother so I wouldn't have to think about the aching in my heart. I thought I knew what a broken heart was, but I didn't. I kept asking myself what was the pain I was feeling. I thought I had endured a broken heart with Embry, and maybe I had. When things break, they could be fixed and work like before, and the broken part, it'll be nothing but a dark memory in your past.

If Embry had broken my heart, what was happening to me now? The pain had multiplied. Living without Embry was hard but living without my sister, it was unbearable. I wanted to die. I wanted to be killed any gruesome way just so I could stop hurting like this.

Maybe my heart was gone. Perhaps Silver was my heart and now it was gone and that way, I couldn't survive. But why did it hurt if it was gone? I could still feel it beating and that was wrong. I didn't want my heart to beat. I wanted my sister back. I wanted to know whether she was dead or alive. I wanted to know if she was kidnapped or ran away. I wanted to know if she was being mistreated and tortured. I just wanted to know.

Andy was the only person who truly understood what I was going through. He had lost his brother to an illness he knew pretty much nothing about. He didn't know if his brother was suffering or not. He just knew that he was losing him.

As much as I enjoyed Andy's company, Cynthia and I both knew that we weren't that fun to be around. Cynthia and I were like a tricycle missing its front wheel. We walked him to the front door and he gave us both a hug.

"Silver's going to be back. She's fine." He looked directly into my eyes when he said this.

I stared back, he sounded so genuine and I wanted to believe him so badly but before I could decipher if he really meant it, he blushed and looked away.

Every day was just as hard as the last. I watched as my mom slowly deteriorated into a zombie who did nothing but cry all day and there was nothing I could do because I was dying on the inside too. Every time I looked up there was a family portrait of the three of us and I kept wishing Silver would come back.

I didn't think back at Andy's words. He didn't know anymore than I did. It was excruciating. The clock kept ticking, the phone never rang and with every second that passed, I asked myself _Is she dead now? _

When things like this happen, the loved ones never come back. But I couldn't admit it completely to myself. Maybe Silver being dead wouldn't be such a bad thing, at least that way she wouldn't be hurt, but the thought made me want to kill myself.

Cynthia only stayed with us for a week. It was her departure that made me realize that I hadn't been to school and my mom hadn't really eaten. So we both decided to leave the house. I endured school and she found a way to go to work.

Going to school was harder than I thought because I had to get out of bed by myself, I had the bathroom to myself and it took less time to get ready since I didn't have to fight Silver for the mirror. The hardest part was driving Silver's car to school. It wasn't because of my fear of getting in a car accident—a car accident wouldn't have been that bad—it was the thought of it being the last place Silver had been, it was the fact that _I _was driving it without her.

I blamed myself for this.

Maybe if I had gone to the party with Silver, she would still be here. Or perhaps, I would have been taken with her, but at least that way, I would have known how she was. Mom would have been home alone though…

There was no winning this.

It didn't get easier as everyday passed. There wasn't a night where I didn't have a nightmare. There wasn't a day that I forgot Silver wasn't here. There wasn't a morning I woke up and thought _Okay, so my sister is missing. Sucks. _Every day was as gut wrenching as the last.

After two weeks, I was convinced she was dead, and it killed me. When Silver had died, _I _had died, my mom had died. My life was dead. I didn't talk to anyone other than my mother and Andy because no one else understood. People would apologize and say they couldn't imagine what it felt like to be me. I didn't want their sympathy, I wanted my sister, and if they didn't have that to offer, they shouldn't talk to me.

When we received a phone call from Edward Cullen, I was sceptical when he said he'd found my sister and she was fine. He hadn't let my mom talk to her, he just told my mother and I to go to the airport at Port Angeles the next morning.

My mom immediately called the chief of police who rounded up his team, fiancé and met us at the airport.

My mom and I were waiting at the airport with no hope in our heart. We watched as people met up with friends and family and I couldn't help crying. I don't know what we were waiting for in this crowd of strangers.

Sue was tearing up as well, anxiously waiting. She seemed allot more sure that we wouldn't be disappointed.

"Do you think she'll be here?" I whispered to my mom.

"I don't know. I keep praying that she'll come and I hope God's been listening." She replied.

I sighed. That didn't help me any. I didn't believe her prayers would do us much good.

"Mommy!" shrieked a voice that, even after all these days of its absence, I recognized automatically.

My hopes were officially up and my heart was pumping with adrenaline.

We searched through the crowd and my heart thudded and raced at full speed when I saw her. I didn't care about making a scene. "Silver!" we cried and started running at full speed. From afar, she hadn't changed much, her hair was still shinny and blond, her lips were still pink, her skin seemed darker though but I didn't care. It was Silver.

I felt no pain when I ran into her and wrapped my arms around her, squeezing Silver with all my might. Mother was shortly behind me, hugging us both and sobbing in choir.

I couldn't see anything or anybody else. I didn't notice Seth right beside us or Edward or Charlie hovering behind us with a mind full questions. Curiosity was the last thing on my mind. Just yesterday, I thought Silver was dead and now, I was holding her in my arm and she hadn't changed a bit.

I could've died from the relief. I couldn't believe it. I needed someone to pinch me because _this _felt like a dream.

My mom looked her up and down, "You're well fed." My mom commented but couldn't help her sniffling.

Silver looked our mom up and down and frowned, "You're not."

"You know I can't eat when I'm stressed."

She sighed, "I'm sorry that you were stressed."

I couldn't believe she was actually standing here. She was talking to us. She was here! "Where the hell were you?" I tried to yell but my voice came out as a loud whimper, "I was so scared, I thought you were..." I didn't want to think back at my dark thoughts. I had been so negative, "I love you so much, Silver." I hugged her again.

"Love you, Amber."

"Where were you, Silli?" mom repeated.

"I was...kidnapped mom." She answered hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"Kidnapped?! By who?" My mom bursted.

Silver fidgeted under her gaze and lightened up when she saw the officer.

Charlie smiled sheepishly, "Hey, kid,"

"Hey Charlie, hey Sue,"

Silver was eager to change the subject. She asked them about the wedding that did not happen and other stuff. I could tell she really didn't want to talk about it and Seth recognized that too by telling them she was tired and wanted to get home.

Silver came back with luggage—actual suitcases—and a white shirt that she clutched tightly in her fist as if it was her security blanket. It was the morning and Silver seemed completely exhausted.

My mom and I followed her to her bedroom and she asked for a minute alone with Seth which we gave. I wouldn't be able to deny her what she wanted for a long time. I had to nurse my heart back to health.

My mom and I were both surprised to hear Silver yelling at Seth so briefly after her return. I popped my head in to intervene. Silver smiled at me and told me she was arguing with Seth. I nodded and gave them their privacy. When Seth left, Silver needed me. She sobbed in my arms. I had so much building up that I cried too. Mom came and cried with us.

That night, we watch Silver sleep. She passed out so quickly, even with us staring at her. "She looks a little tan…" I muttered.

"She looks perfect." Was my mother's reply.

"She seems so tired, what do you think it is?"

"I don't know." My mom shrugged. Neither of us took our eyes off our sleeping angel.

"Jet lag?"

"I hope not."

I sighed.

Silver's little friends came over and waited for her to wake up. When she came up at 6 in the afternoon, I was almost sure that it was jet lag. She spoke to her friends who filled our house. At first it was only four of them, then eventually our house was full of teenagers—my and Silver's friends.

The "party" didn't last long, though. The cops had to crash our get together and bombard Silver with questions. Silver couldn't dodge the interrogation for very long. All our friends had left and Charlie paid close attention to Silver.

When he asked who kidnapped her, she reluctantly answered Nahuel.

I was taken aback and had to muffle a gasp. I trusted Nahuel with Silver. Had I been blind or just stupid? I always knew Nahuel had a small—well, huge—crush on my sister but I thought it was a 'I'd give my all for you' kind of crush not a 'I want to wear a jacket out of your skin and smell your hair' kind of crush.

He showered her with several questions and Silver tensed up. When asked where she was taken she had a lot of difficulty keeping her eyes on him.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I was drugged then taken to another place. Somewhere far."

He asked her more questions and Silver answered them all. When his lady partner put in her two cents and asked the question we were all thinking; had Nahuel abused her physically or sexually?

Silver seemed extremely insulted and shouted her denial. Officer Sharron asked if she wanted to speak privately and Silver refused. "Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Nahuel kidnapped me and Seth found me. The end. There's nothing else to the story. I'm of no use to you anymore."

They left it at that and were about to leave our house. The female cop told Silver she had a doctor's appointment and that angered Silver.

I tried soothing my sister by telling her I'd go with her but it didn't work. I didn't let her bail though, because I had a feeling there was something Silver wasn't telling us. Talking about it clearly upset her so I wasn't going to ask. The past didn't matter. Silver was here now.


	15. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30: What happened in Argentina. **

**Embry's POV.**

I was exhausted. The second my ass found my seat in the airplane, I was dead. Neither Quil nor I were up for conversation. Silver getting kidnapped was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

Right after leaving my imprint high and dry after our first night of consummating our love, I headed to the Cullen's place where they had confirmed that Silver had been kidnapped by Nahuel, or, who I'd like to call dick head.

Apparently, the a-hole was totally in love with Silver. So in love with her that he roofied her drink. Sick bastard. He then dragged her across the freaking continent and promised to change her into a blood sucker. I had no idea how Silver managed to stay human for so long but she was very brave.

Everything I knew, I learned from Jacob. Quil and I were off in Asia, searching far and wide for Silver. The Cullen's were scattered around the atlas; some in Europe, some in Africa. Jeez, were we off. Our Silver was way down south in hot Argentina.

Leah was off in the Caribbean's and the youngest werewolves were searching the States. Seth and Edward found Silver in Argentina and luckily, Jacob and Sam were close by and caught up with them a few hours later.

I wish I could say it all went well, but it didn't.

I was also in my wolf form when Seth picked up Silver's scent. Seth was alone because Edward and he had split up to save more time. We were all nervous as to what we'd find. It had been 2 weeks, we were certain that Silver would be a vampire by now.

As Seth sped through the woods, we were able to hear Nahuel speaking and we all—me, Quil, Leah, Jacob—growled in harmony. Seth just listened closely. It sounded like Nahuel was trying to scare Silver to death. He kept asking her; _Are you sure? Are you positive? _And Silver would reply with wordless refusals. And then she screamed.

We all panicked and Seth rushed past the bushes. He found a small house. Silver's scent was extremely strong so he did not hesitate to break the door down.

The scene he had walked in was horrifying. Nahuel held Silver in some kind of embrace and his mouth was going for her throat, so we told Seth to the most logical thing; kill him.

Silver completely freaked out and held Nahuel's bloody, tattered body until he took his last breath and died. She hadn't even glanced in Seth's direction. She had shooed him away like an unwanted dog. It was all very confusing. Silver listened carefully to her kidnapper's final words and told him she loved him countless amount of times before he couldn't hear her anymore. She even kissed him—her lips were trickled with his blood. She promised him she would fix him and they'd be okay. The scene was shocking and heartbreaking.

The white dress she wore was absorbing the large puddle of blood around them but she didn't seem to notice as she wept.

Seth had phased back, so whatever happened after that was kind of a mystery.

Jacob told me that when he got to the house in Argentina, Silver was passed out and Edward was cleaning up the blood and had already disposed of the body. They injected Silver with some morphine so she wouldn't wake up to the bloody apartment.

Seth gave her a bath while she was still out of it. Blood had been splattered on her face and body during the fight. None of the blood was hers. We were all surprised to see how much blood there was in a half vampire. The second Seth had sunk his teeth in Nahuel, he started to bleed like crazy.

Silver was passed out for a really long time and Seth was very worried. Silver had her own room with a huge closet full of clothes and a giant bed with white sheets. He put her down in that bed and watched her sleep for several hours.

Sam and Jacob were both worried as well but were forced out of the room when Silver woke up. They hadn't seen each other in weeks and their hormones were too strong to keep their hands off each other.

Silver must have thought she was dreaming because she flipped out when she realised Seth was real. She immediately started asking where Nahuel was and all the guys were speechless. Silver cried when they told him he was dead. She didn't believe them at first but later, she did.

She was in love with him apparently. She was actually happy with him in the middle of the forest. Edward said that Nahuel and she were supposed to have an actual future together. They were planning on having a baby and changing Silver. Originally, it was just a plot to give Seth more time to find her.

When we were searching for her, Seth kept worrying; _as a vampire, would she still love me? Would she remember me?_ Little did he know was that Silver was thinking the complete opposite; _As a vampire, would Seth still love me? Would he still want me if I was made of stone? _Of course he would have.

Anyway, Silver then remembered the whole murder scene and asked who had killed her "mate".

Seth stammered and stuttered. Jacob felt so bad for the situation Seth had put himself in and we all—me included—kind of killed Nahuel. We didn't exactly tell Seth to stop. I told him to break his legs. We were all kind of responsible. So Jacob took the fall for Seth.

Silver was pissed with Jacob now.

I was just glad this whole thing was over. Now I got to go home and take a twenty hour nap then see my girlfriend whom I had missed immensely. I couldn't wait to see her and talk to her and hold her in my arms.

The flight seemed to last forever but 24 hours and three planes later; I was back home. Jet lag was going to be a bitch. I hoped it wouldn't be that bad since I hadn't really slept.

It was really early when I got home. I was half asleep when I set foot in my house. I went in the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

"I'm getting too old for this." said someone else.

My mom had startled me and half my water was now on the front of my shirt. I sighed, "Hey mom, shouldn't you be asleep?"

She was in a robe and leaning against the wall. She was half asleep as well, "I thought you might be a burglar."

"Shouldn't you have taken a weapon or something?"

She shrugged, "I figured there was a fifty-fifty chance that it might be you. I was right."

I continued drinking water and actually started fantasising about sleeping. I imagined myself stripping and falling into my bed. I hadn't slept in an actual bed since I had left. It would feel like heaven.

"So, are you going to tell me where you were or is it a secret like when you were in your half-naked stage?" My mother asked.

I rolled my eyes. She always called the stage of my life when I just became a werewolf my _half-naked _stage since I was always wearing pants, shoes and nothing else. "Well, Seth's girlfriend was sort of kidnapped so the guys and I went looking for her."

"I know she was kidnapped." My mom rolled her eyes, "I don't live under a rock. So what? Did you guys just wander the country half-naked looking under every stone?" she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

I shrugged, "Sort of." I finished my water and walked to my bedroom. Everything was the way I had left it…except the bed was made and it was actually kind of clean in here. I sighed. I knew Laurence wouldn't be here when I came back but part of me hoped she would be.

My disappointment didn't stop me from enjoying my rest. I probably slept for a whole day. Once I woke up, I felt amazing. The first things I did was got dressed, ate a gigantic breakfast then headed off to California.

It was always faster to go in wolf form and I wanted to see her very badly. So I put a nice out fit in a backpack and headed for California as a wolf. I got dressed in the woods and strode out into the afternoon daylight.

I figured Laurence was working today so I just went to Kay's jewellery.

I was right. She was behind the counter, organizing some bracelets. When I came in and the door made a ding sound to warn her of my presence, she looked up. Her eyes widened and she was relieved to see me after all these days of separation.

Laurence frowned and continued organizing the jewellery.

"Hey, Laue." I grinned and approached her counter.

She scoffed.

"What wrong, sweetheart?"

She glared at me, "Are you really asking me what's wrong? Like you don't know." She waited for me to reply but I had nothing to say. I thought she'd be happier to see me, like she was five seconds ago. "You think you could just disappear for a month and come back then everything will be handy dandy?" she demanded.

"I've been gone two weeks." I muttered.

"I can't believe you, Embry Call! I thought you'd be gone a few hours and then I don't see you for _15 days! _You fucking ass hole."

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

She looked away shaking her head and taking deep breaths.

I reached over the counter and caressed her face. My heart swelled with adoration. "I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to call, but I couldn't. I'm sorry. Please forgive me and I promise to never hurt you again."

"Are you over your ex?" she randomly asked, taking me completely off guard.

I pulled my hand away and stared at her in shock. Was she really asking me this? "Where'd this come from?"

"I've never asked you that before and while you were gone, I got to thinking and some of my friends…"

I rolled my eyes, "And you're listening to them?"

"I don't know."

I sighed, "Laurence, you know you could trust me."

She watched me suspiciously, "I didn't say that I didn't trust you. I asked if you were over your ex. Amber, was it?"

My mouth went all dry. I never considered discussing Amber with Laurence. I was actually planning on suffering in silence until it all faded away and it had. I missed her sometimes but I didn't want to _be _with her, at least, not like before. I hated that Laurence was interrogating me about something so ancient. Amber was part of my past. It seemed like it had been an eternity since we were Amber and Embry.

Laurence sighed, "You're not answering me and you're staring at me with that dumb look on your face. Not helping. You're still in love with her—imprint or no imprint."

"I'm not in _love _with my—Amber. I'm in love with you! Why are we fighting over this?"

"We're not fighting. We're _discussing. _I just want you to be happy and we should talk about this." She chewed on her lip, "Janet!" she called.

"_What?" _shouted Janet from the other room.

"I'm taking my break."

"Whatever!"

Laurence took her break and dragged me to the empty park and we sat on the grass. She looked at the sunset for a while and continued, "Why did you guys break up, anyways?"

I looked at her. I couldn't believe she was asking me this. "You told me to."

She gasped, "Oh. I remember." She nodded, "You were in love with her, right?"

"I was."

"That ruby bracelet that you bought the day we met, what are you going to do with it?"

I was frustrated with the conversation and I begged her to stop with my eyes but she just stared back apologetically.

"You still look at it sometimes, I see you. You're still thinking about it." She paused so I would say something but I didn't know how to reply to that. I hadn't looked at the bracelet _that _much. I just glanced at it every now and then to see if it was still there. "You should just give it to her. It's hers."

"Do you forgive me for leaving or not?" I asked a bit harsher than I wanted but, for the first time, Laurence was annoying me.

"Oh, Embry," she caressed my face, sending my heart on a rampage, "I was never mad…per say. I was worried and kind of pissed…On second thought; I was mad. But the second I saw you, I wasn't mad anymore. I just wanted to make you feel as bad as me, I guess. I'm sorry."

"God, I love you." I kissed her.

"Oh! And could I just say that your apology was so cute, I almost died and I'm crazy in love with you right now."

"Let's never not see each other ever again."

"Agreed." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. I was officially complete. The last two weeks of hell were gone and over and I would never think back at them. As far as I was concerned, I'd never been to Asia.

**A/N: Anyone else bored of Embry? We're going to spend more with Amber before I end it.**


	16. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31: Back to normal.**

**Amber's POV.**

Having Silver back was amazing. I couldn't imagine ever taking her for granted again. She and Seth were fighting so mom and I had her all to ourselves. I could never understand how Seth could pick a fight with Silver so soon after her return.

Silver was beaming a ray of light on my otherwise crappy life. Now, I felt like the happiest person in the world.

We brought Silver to her doctor's appointment and she came out looking very upset. Then she saw Seth, and he upset her even more. I was on the verge of murdering this kid for upsetting my sister. I never understood them. They were so in love but when they fought, it was terrible. Silver would cry for hours, Seth would call every ten seconds. It was aging me.

Mom and I were seated in the car and Silver sat in the back seat slamming the door before Seth could finish him "I Love you."

My mom started driving, "What's going on between you two?" My mom looked at Silver through the rear-view mirror, "This is a happy time. You were missing and now your back. Why are you two fighting? You never fight."

Silver and I scoffed at my mom obliviousness.

"We fight plenty." Silver laughed ironically.

"Is it serious?"My mom pressed. I glowered at her for hovering over Silver and Seth's relationship. This didn't concern her any more than it concerned me.

"It'll pass." Silver assured my mom with a wry smile.

I changed the subject by mentioning school, something we were missing more and more of every day. Silver insisted on going even when my mom said she didn't have to. We rented movies and just had a girls'-day-in. Seth interrupted us in the middle of the movie but Silver didn't speak to him for very long. It looked like he was giving her something but I didn't see.

Silver didn't wake up on time for school the next day. She woke up several hours after school was supposed to start so neither of us bothered. There was no way I was leaving Silver alone. Mom was off at work and Silver wanted to go out. She wanted to make a trip to La Push to see some friends and tell them she was okay.

The night before she had made several batches of muffins from which I was only aloud to eat two because the rest were for her friends.

We paraded up and down La Push for a few hours with Seth's sister by our side. I had never met her before but I wasn't surprised that she looked like an Amazonian queen. Seth was huge so I figured it was genetic or something. She was tall and beautiful and next to her, I felt tiny and insignificant.

All the guys in La Push were huge though. It was kind of creepy. Silver knocked at the door of a cute farm like, bright red house. A freakishly tall and scary guy answered the door. He grinned when he saw her, "Silver! Nice to see your alive." He ruffled her hair causing Silver to curse and smooth her blond hair that was darker from the drizzly rain.

"I was kind of expecting Jacob but you'll do. Paul, this is my sister." I waved shyly at the intimidating man, "I just wanted to say thanks for…everything." She smiled and offered him a muffin that he gobbled up in one bite. He hugged her and we were on our way.

"What'd you thank him for?" I whispered so Leah wouldn't hear.

"He…" Silver looked at me for a long time, "He helped find me." She mumbled and quickened her pace leaving me frozen in the rain for a few seconds. I looked back that the red house then at Silver who scurried to her car.

I didn't know what to say to that.

We dropped Leah off at her house and headed to the Cullen's mansion. I remembered my last visit here and shied away from it. I was kind of pissed when Silver ditched me in the living room to talk to Jacob. I was left alone with Emmett. He was tall and muscular and extremely pale.

I tried making myself as small as possible because he kind of scared me and for some reason, his amused grin didn't help.

Silver left their house upset because Seth had presented himself. I drove us home, Silver wasn't stable enough to drive.

Things were probably not going perfectly in Silver's life but mine felt perfect for the simple reason that she was a part of it again. I wanted her to be happy but she wasn't, so I settled with wanting her to be alive and with us. Which she was!

I was about to get myself something to nibble on when someone knocked on our door. I opened it cautiously in fear that it might be a kidnapper but it was just Seth.

Silver was downstairs.

I sighed and opened the door, "What do _you_ want?" I glared at this stupid, immature little boy. Well, he wasn't _little _but he was childish and clearly out of his mind if he thought he could mess with us.

"Oh! Hi Amber! It's so nice to see you. Can I speak to Silver please?" He was grinning from, ear to ear and I was sure that he could make any girl swoon but I remained remote. I wanted to smack him for even trying that one.

"You think that sweet boy attitude works on me, Seth? God, your naïve!"

He rolled his eyes, "Okay, Amber, I get it, your big, bad and protective. Can I see Silver, please?"

"And why the hell should I do that?" I leaned on the doorway. I had all day to interrogate this petty hormone raved teenager boy. I could protect Silver till I started growing gray hairs. "What? So you guys can fight again? So you could make her cry, _again_?"

"I don't mean to make her cry." He muttered.

"Yeah? Well, you do."

He sighed, "Amber, _please_, let me see her. I know we fight allot, but I love her and the last two weeks have been just as hard for me as they were for you."

I glared at him for several seconds. I couldn't believe he dared to speak to me that way. How dare he bring up the last two weeks? It was _not _as hard on _anybody _as hard as it was on _me. _And for him to compare his stupid, teenage love—no matter how real it looked—to the bonds of sisterhood Silver and I shared was downright insulting.

I wanted to slam the door but I knew it would be wrong to deny Silver of the option of seeing her 'boyfriend'. I chewed the inside of my cheek and sighed, "Wait here."

I headed downstairs and knocked at the bathroom door.

"Yes?" Silver called.

I cracked the door open and stuck my head in. "Seth is upstairs. Do you want me to get rid of him?"

I noticed the immediate relief in Silver's face when she knew Seth was near and she didn't have to answer for me to know. "No, get him down here."

I nodded and turn around.

Seth was already behind me and I almost bumped into him. My heart accelerated from the startle, "I said to wait upstairs!" I hissed in a whisper so Silver wouldn't hear. I hit his arms and ran up the stairs. I sat on the couch and bounced my knee while chewing my lips. I didn't want Seth upsetting Silver.

I never understood how Silver and Seth could fight so much and still be together. I would have dumped him after the third fight. Silver was obviously more patient than I was because about fifteen minutes later, Silver and Seth came up in a fairly good mood. They held hands to the door and Silver started putting on layers and layers of clothes.

I turned off the TV and got up, "Where are we going?" I asked squeezing past them and kicking on some sneakers.

"Uh, Hunter's house…" Silver answered. Her face was twisted in confusion as she watched me put on a jacket.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight for a while, Silver. You're going to have to endure me." I grinned at her and she grinned back. We were both excited by the idea of spending more time together. She had Seth and I used to have Embry so we didn't go out together as much. But now, we would be joined to the hip again.

Hunter was Seth's childhood friend. I was aware of Silver's irritation towards the boy. To her, he was a perverted pig who made useless sexual comments more often than what was funny or necessary. I'd heard of the infamous Hunter but none of Silver's stories worked up to Hunter himself.

Silver had forgotten to mention how hot he was. He was tall and had bulging muscles, he wasn't gigantic like Seth was but in a way, they had the exact body time, just one was more normal size. He had thick black hair that danced around his face when he turned his head to fast. His skin was dark like the average Quileute boy but his eyes were light brown. He had these perfect, model-like features, the kind of body I could have just sexually molested.

Seth and Hunter seemed to have some unfinished business—I noted while watching them attempt to punch each other—and he hugged the crap out of Silver. He'd actually referred to Silver as _sis _after having call Seth a _son of a bitch. _He then worried about her skin colour and almost started to cry. Hunter wasn't anything like Silver had said. He looked really nice and kind of sensitive.

Silver walked into his house and I followed after Seth.

"Well, hello, gorgeous." He said to me while nodding.

I stifled a giggle. "Hey," I smiled then looked at the floor as I walked in. I didn't like how I was thinking. I was so used to not noticing men these days that Hunter made me nervous. I ignored those feelings though and tried to enjoy being normal.

Hunter led us to the living room and asked us to sit on the large, orange sofa. He offered me and Silver something to drink but he was clearly mad at Seth for his sudden disappearance. I hoped Seth would answer his friend so I would also know where he'd been for the past two weeks but he only replied by saying "I'm here now, aren't I?"

But Hunter was still angry at him and changed the subject, "Is this your twin, sis?" he asked, doing it again. He didn't ask if I was Silver's twin sister—which was a question neither of us had heard since elementary school—he was referring to Silver as his sister, again.

Silver shook her head, "Older," she corrected.

"Amber, right?"

Silver made a fit of happiness when she realized that Hunter actually took an interest in the things she said but then she was too weirded out by his politeness. Under her orders, Hunter asked a rude question.

"You were both missing for two weeks. Were you screwing each other the whole time?" A grin grew on his face as he eyed between the both of them

I couldn't help laughing even though his joke wasn't that funny. I was just so euphoric. The high of Silver being back hadn't really worn off yet and I was actually attracted to another man. I actually thought that part of me was broken, that I would never look at another man ever again. I was quite relieved.


	17. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32: My weird new friend**

**Amber's POV**

I had to admit to myself that flirting with Hunter was allot of fun. It was the most fun I'd ever had. I felt like it wasn't Hunter though, Hunter wasn't special to me. It was me. _I_had changed. Now that I had experienced the worst kind of pain and had it taken away by my sister's return, I _couldn't_be unhappy. I couldn't _not_be giddy when a cute boy flirted with me.

I didn't want Hunter's number because I really wasn't looking for a long term relationship—I wasn't even looking for a date. But he insisted on taking my number and I wasn't able to wrestle my cell phone away so he wouldn't call me and have my number on his phone.

I failed.

He had my number.

I he was probably going to call me. Sigh.

The next morning, I woke up early for school and got dressed. I could hear Silver's alarm clock ringing from the bathroom and she turned it off a few seconds later. She was up.

I didn't straighten my hair and I didn't put on makeup. I just tied my hair in a ponytail and headed up stairs. I just didn't feel like putting on makeup. It wasn't because I was depressed or something. I just didn't have time to put on makeup since I wanted to make Silver breakfast.

My phone was having seizures with hundreds of texts messages I was receiving texts from schoolmates. They all wanted to know if Silver and I were coming to school.

I was stressed with all the phone calls and texts messages that I thought I would throw something when there was a knock at the door. It was way too early for anyone to be visiting anyone, even on a school day.

I wasn't surprised to find Seth at our door with his bright grin. It was too early for me to be smiling, "Are you serious?" I demanded, "Are you seriously here?"

His grin turned sheepish and he shrugged.

"You are _way_too clingy." I said turning my back on him. I didn't slam the door in his face. Even if he _really_wasn't my type and I couldn't really see what Silver saw in him, he did make her excessively happy.

He invited himself into our house and sat at the dining table. We casually spoke as I made our breakfast. I didn't have to focus much. Seth kind of talked allot for a guy. I made enough eggs for four and started toasting some bagels.

I wasn't aware of Silver's presents till I found her crying at the staircase.

"What's wrong, Silver?" I cried, "I made you breakfast."

Silver shook her head, "Nothing." she mumbled, "It's just that...Nahuel used to make me eggs." she forced the words out of her mouth. I wanted to hold her and apologize a million times for bringing back memories she didn't want to think about but I was frozen at the sound of his name that did not escape her lips as a hiss but as an embrace.

Silver ate her eggs without complaining and we went to school.

I think we were all kind of excited for this part. Today, we were bombarded with questions of where had Silver been and all the jazz. Rumours had spread all around school because Silver disappearance was at the same time as Nahuel's and Seth's. All the rumours were crazy made up story but it was ridiculous how close they were to what actually happened. What actually happened wasn't something that happened every day but still.

I reluctantly let Silver out of my sight so she could go to class and as I fidgeted in the rain and watched her walk away with her knight in shining armour I couldn't help but let a few tears shed. There was no particular reason for me to cry this time. They weren't tears of happiness but I wasn't sad either. I kind of felt like I was watching my five year old go to her first day of school.

"Are you okay, Amber?" A hand rested on my shoulder.

I gasped and jumped forward. I spun around to glare at the person who startled me.

Andy stood behind me just as startled.

"Damn it, Andy. Don't sneak up on me like that."

Andy inhaled from his asthma inhaler. I didn't even know he had asthma.

I bit my lips and stifled a giggle, "You're such a dork." I rolled my eyes.

He was just too commercial. He was really one of those dorky nerds that were nervous around girls and had asthma attacks when taken by surprise. It wasn't his asthma that I found funny, it was the fact that he really needed his inhaler in case he was too shocked.

"Sorry," he apologized breathlessly.

I smiled, "It's cool. Let's go to class. English, right?" I looked at him, waiting for an answer. I wasn't really sure what classes I had at all. I was pretty much guessing that we had English at first hour. I had only glanced at my schedule once this morning.

It took Andy a few seconds to reply. It was probably an aftershock from his asthma attack or whatever that was. I put my hand on his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't collapse or something.

"Yeah, English." He nodded, a grin spreading on his face.

We were both quiet for a few seconds, "Want to go to my locker so we can go to class together?"

"Sure!" he beamed.

I rolled my eyes at my weird new friend. I had to admit that I had a soft spot for this dweeb, I wasn't the only one. He was a part of Steve's gang and he was nothing like the other senior boys that he hung out with but there was something about Andy that made him stand out from the other losers. He was sort of special.

He'd been there for me in my hour of need especially. While Silver was gone, I hadn't spoken to much people but when I did speak, it was to Andy and when he did visit, he made me feel a little bit of hope.

"You never told me how we did in our book report project thingy."

"Oh! The Outsiders." He corrected me and I rolled my eyes, "We passed, don't worry."

"Thanks for doing all the work."

"I'm used to it." He nodded.

"Don't worry, next time, I'll help with the project. I promise." I patted his arm and we headed for class.

Today was having a great start. My English teacher didn't show up to class so we were in need of a substitute. Since his absence was uncalled for, we didn't have work to do.

I surprised to see that Andy was welcome in my group of friends. When he came to sit with us it was as if he belonged there. No one had the _why is _he _sitting with us _look. It made me wonder what had I missed out on. I hadn't missed _that _much school…

Apparently I had, because I'd missed out on _allot. _Andy being a part of my English class group was the smallest of my adjustments. People had broken up and gotten together, virginities had been rued and lost, parents had fought and kids blamed themselves.

My friends took it upon themselves to make me aware of the other students business—not minding the interruptions by some curious students who wanted to know about Silver. It wasn't hard to pay attention or listen to my friends. Even though I really didn't care that Tanya practically dry humped some guy at Caroline's gathering and she almost got in huge trouble so now Vanessa and Pam aren't talking to Tanya.

I listened though, and I laughed at the bizarre things Christina a Gaby and my other friends had to say. Life was officially back to normal. _I _was officially back to normal. At least, I felt normal. Maybe there was a part of me that was still scarred. I felt good now though, I felt better than good, I was almost happy.

My first day of school was pretty good. Silver didn't have the same thing to say about her own. People bombarded her with all types of questions and she felt as though the next day was going to be the same.

The next day, Andy's car showed up in the full parking lot at the same time as Silver and I arrived.

"Hey, look, your little friend is talking to Seth." Silver said pointing at her boyfriend who was doing the prop high-five handshake thing with Andy.

Silver was smiling. Her eyes were still full of that gross, lovey dovey stuff she always had when she looked at Seth. Seth spotted her staring and waved at her eagerly like a complete dork.

I snorted.

"Hi!" she squeaked and waved at him with the same eagerness.

I rolled my eyes and jumped out of the car.

Andy was walking towards our car with Seth by his side and I grinned at him.

"Hey, guys." I greeted both of them, "Come on, Andy, were too cool for those dorks." I held on to one of his arms and dragged him along, "How are you?"

"I'm…okay. Bad actually. I have gym at first hour." He pretended his hand was a gun and shot himself in the mouth, "Freaking nightmare."

"Why aren't I surprised that you're not good in sports?" I raised an eyebrow feeling more and more like myself again. I felt chipper. I actually felt like skipping and jumping and being my giddy self again but I decided to listen to Andy.

"It's not that I'm bad at sports," he told me, "It's just that I don't—wait. Why wouldn't I be good in sport?" his eyebrows narrowed in reaction to my earlier diss.

I grinned wider, "No reason." I quickened my pace and muffled my laughter with my hand that wasn't carrying my books. Andy wasn't following me so I stopped to look at him.

He seemed to walked so slow. I speculated whether he was even aware that I was walking with him. His pace did not quicken.

"Are you coming?" I asked, waving him over to me.

The shocked expression on his face was priceless. He took big steps with his long skinny legs and reached me in seconds.

"Oh you!" I ruffle his dark curly hair. "I love having you as a friend now. I can't believe it took us so long to get acquainted."

Andy blushed causing me to laugh.


	18. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33: Boys.**

**Amber's POV**

The days passed with ease for me. Friday was back to being the day I looked forward to. After a long day of school work and making Andy blush, I was finally home. I didn't necessarily _want _the week to end but, like any teenager, I was excited for Fridays.

Silver and I were going to spend the afternoon with Seth. We weren't going to do anything in particular since it was pouring rain outside but anything was better than staying cramped up on a Friday night.

I was on my computer making some resume's so I could hopefully have a summer job but I doubted that would happen. In a town this small, it would surprise me that they were just giving away random jobs.

There was a knock at the door.

I sighed. I figured that at this point, Seth would stop knocking and just walk in. We were only women in our house but the front door was usually unlocked when Silver and I just step into the door. I got off the sofa and dragged my feet to let Seth in.

"Damn it, Seth, why can't you just—" My words got caught in my throat when I caught sight of the tall man in front of me. His coarse hair was clinging to his damp face. His mouth was stretched out into a huge grin revealing perfect teeth.

"Hey, Amber." He beamed, looking satisfied with himself for rendering me speechless.

"Hey!" I smiled and acted happy to see him. I was surprised to see him again. When he hadn't called a few days, I was quite relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with another boy. I had obviously been wrong since he was here and looked quite interested in _getting to know me better. _"W-what are you doing here?" I tried not to sound as outraged as I really was. I couldn't stop my voice from going up a few octaves with panic.

"I came for you, Sugar. Who else?"

"Uh, Silver?" I squeaked again—calling Silver. To Hunter, it sounded like I was suggesting that he came here _for_ Silver. My smile became freakishly wide with my jittery nerves.

I didn't like the situation I was in and I wanted my little sister to save me from this big, beautiful man.

Sure, I thought he was hot, that didn't mean I was interested in him though. I just enjoyed looking at him. The thought being close to a man again almost gave me an anxiety attack. I suddenly felt like Hunter was standing too close.

"Did you call me?" Silver stomped up the stairs, "I think I heard a knock at the door. Was I right? If I was right, is it Seth? I bet it's—Oh! Hi Hunter." Silver quit blabbering and was as stunned as I was to see Hunter at our door, "How…how do you know where I live?" Silver eyed him suspiciously and opened the door wider. She gestured for Hunter to step out of the rain.

"I've got my methods." He smirked at Silver.

"I'm sure you do." Silver muttered, "Where's Seth? Is he with you?" She stuck her head in the rain and looked around for a sign of Seth and looked disappointed before shutting the doors, her blond curls already wet.

"He doesn't know I'm here. I was hoping you'd be gone and with him."

Silver frowned. She grabbed Hunter's shirt and pulled him down till his face was to her and she whispered in his ear. When she said what she had to say, she shoved him away roughly.

"Got it." He rolled his eyes, "Don't you have some place to be? I don't know, like, far from here?" he teased but there was a playful edge to his words. I couldn't tell if he was deliberately being rude to Silver or if this was usually how they spoke to each other.

"Amber and I were going out. With Seth." Silver's face was puckered in an angry glare, "We're waiting for _you _to leave." Silver slipped her hand in mine and discreetly pulled me so I was behind her. There was protectiveness in her stance that made me feel uneasy. I didn't want Silver defending me when there was no immediate danger. From where I was standing, a fight was brewing because of Silver's presence.

"Hey, um, if Hunter wants to talk to me, there's no harm in him talking to me, right?" I interrupted.

Silver whirled around to stare at me, Her gray eyes peered at me with panic and disapproval. She shook her head slightly.

"It's cool, Silver. I want to talk to Hunter. Can you give us a minute alone?" I smiled at my little sister, ignoring the twisting nerves in my stomach.

She bit her lip and huffed. She stomped her way down stairs and we both waited till we heard her door slam.

"So, I was thinking," Hunter was grinning again, "Ditch the dweebs today and you and I could do something—something fun like Go-Karting or laser tag."

His two options were intriguing but I didn't want to lead him on more than I already had. It was alluring to say yes. I would have loved to go play laser tag or go Go-Karting but that would make Hunter believe I wanted to spend time with him when, really, I wanted to go Go-Karting.

I wondered where he was planning on taking me to do such activities. We couldn't have that here, it had to be in a nearby city.

I pushed that curiosity away. There was no way I was going anywhere with Hunter. And I was definitely not leaving Silver. "Wow, Hunter, that sweet but I can't."

"You shouldn't feel bad for Sil and Seth. They like spending time together alone."

"No, it's not about that." I sighed and looked up at him. I didn't care to think about what I would say. I didn't care much about his feelings to watch my words. Hunter was really cute but I just couldn't imagine anything other than friendship with him—I couldn't even see friendship. "Hunter, I don't date anymore. At all. Whether you're asking me to just hang as friends or an actual date, my answer is no. It's nothing personal against _you_, it's really all men." I smiled to lighten the blow.

Hunter's face was serious but not angry. He watched my face and I watched his, waiting for his epiphany or whatever he was trying to do. "Bad break-up, huh?" his lips turned up in a crooked, sympathetic, half grin. There was no humour in his smirk; it seemed widely out of place right now.

My heart leaped and I inhaled deeply. I hated hearing the break-up being mentioned by someone else. I hadn't spoken about it in so long. I thought the whole world would forget my break-up since so much more important events had taken place. Was it really pasted on my face that I had been dumped?

Seeing Hunter watch my face careful—he was probably reading _heartbroken _off my forehead—the blood rushed to my cheek and I looked away hoping he wouldn't notice the colour.

"I'm sorry, Amber." He apologized and he sounded sincere, "I get it. I'm sorry for putting you through this."

My head whipped back up to look at him. I had dreamt of that very sentence so many times. Though, in my dreams it wasn't some random hottie saying it; it was Embry. Embry coming back to me and apologizing for leaving and putting me through _this._

I hadn't had that dream in weeks though. I could barely remember how they went, but that sentence was unforgettable because I wanted that part to be real.

My smile felt more like a grimace, "Thanks for understanding."

He smiled back, it was sweet this time. There was none of his cockiness, "No need for thanking me. Get better and you can call me anytime." He gave me a much needed hug and went out into the rain.

Hunter really was a good guy despite all the horror stories Silver had told me. He was sweet and nice and definitely my type. Sadly, I wasn't ready to be with him how any girl would want to be with him. I hadn't healed enough for that.

"What did he want?" Silver demanded, coming up the stairs, her frown still in place. I hadn't realised she was _this _protective of me. She was taking this way out of hand. I understood that she was worried but _she_ was the little sister.

"He just wanted to know if I'd go Go-Karting. I said I was spending the day with you."

She smiled and looked ashamed for her accusation, "Oh, that's good. Are you…going to hang with him another day?"

I shook my head, "No."

She sighed in relief. "Good, because Hunter is _way _too annoying for me to endure. You know who you should date?" Silver grinned walking towards the front door and leaning on it. Her smile was so huge it looked like it caused her pain.

It was amazing how much Forks had changed us so drastically. _I _used to be the happy sister that smiled and giggled all the time and Silver was the grumpy child. Now the rolls were slightly reversed. I wasn't _grumpy _but I wasn't as cheerful as I used to be. I was kind of still pissed that I was living here and I wished something would happen so that we could all move back to Montreal.

"Nobody Silver. I shouldn't date anyone." I rolled my eyes. She was so silly. I was so sure that it was written on my forehead that I was damaged goods and here was my sister, suggesting guys, "I'm flattered that you think I'm datable but I'm not ready."

Silver agreed so rapidly I wondered whether she even meant what she'd said before, "Oh, I know. I don't even know why I suggested that."

I flinched but she didn't seem to notice. She gasped and turned to open the door, "Hey, you!" she crowed, throwing her arms around Seth's neck.

Seth had a confused frown on his face, "Was that Hunter I just…" he jerked his thumb behind himself.

"Yeah," Silver and I mumbled.

"What did he…You know what, I'll ask him later." He looked down at Silver and pulled her into his chest, "How's my favourite girl in the world?" he grinned than looked up at me, "I'm sorry, _one _of my favourite girls." He corrected.

I couldn't help smiling when Seth was trying to be charming.

We hadn't planned anything in particular and the rain bummed Silver out.

I was fine with staying in as well. The snow and rain made the thought of Silver or Seth driving sound horrible and dangerous. We ended up watching TV and playing cards and board games.

This took me back. I remembered when there was a snow day when I was 12 and Cynthia came over. We stayed home, played board games and watched Much Music all day long.

The thought of Seth replacing Cynthia didn't make me shutter. Seth was cool and I liked him and Silver adored him. It was weird to see them together. There wasn't a moment Seth wasn't touching Silver. He was always caressing her arm or playing with her hair. He looked at her like she was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen.

It didn't make me sad to look at them like it used to. I was in a better place so that I didn't feel jealous. I was also less anxious about their relationship. As time progressed and they seemed to fall more in love with each other every day, I got more used to them being in love for the rest of their lives.

I knew that high school relationships never lasted but sometimes people _did _marry their high school sweethearts. If such a thing were possible, out of all the high school couples, Silver and Seth have got to have been the most liable.

And even though something like 70% of married couples get a divorce, if any two people should be in that rare 30%, it was my sister and her Seth. He was hers, that was for sure.

I spent the entire weekend with Silver and Seth then Monday came, followed by school and boys.

And my boy was there. He stepped out of his green car and joined me at Silver's bright red Chrysler. He was all smiles for me. It was a bit shy but his lips curled up in the corners. His flushed when he caught my eye. I was just as happy to see him as he was to see me.

"Hey, Andy!" I skipped towards him, "How was your weekend?" We both turned and started towards the building. Students scattered around us, but I tried to focus on Andy. He didn't talk much, he was more of a listener. That was probably why I was so drawn to him. I could talk for hours and hours and he'd just listen. He didn't give advice or disagree or give me his opinion like my other friends did. He just listened.

"Sucked pretty bad." He admitted, "I had to work all weekend."

"I didn't know you had a job." I tilted my head to the side. I wanted him to elaborate. Where did he work and why didn't he like it? If I didn't push he usually stopped with one statement. I shoved his shoulder and gestured for him to continue.

"I'm a cashier at the local grocery store." He answered quickly, "My boss forgot to give me my break yesterday so I was on my feet for 6 hours."

"Do you think you could get me a job application? I need a job."

He shrugged and held the door open for me.

"Thanks An—" My words got stuck in my throat when I looked around my school.

On the walls were bright red cut outs of hearts and little baby cupids. Ribbons and garlands discreetly hung from the ceilings. The decorations were tastefully done. Enough to be noticed but not too much to make the single people feel awkward.

It didn't make me feel awkward, it just made me feel like I was chocking for a split second. Chocking wasn't the way to describe it, I just felt like I had walked into a plate glass door that I thought was open but it was just really clean.

"What day is it?" I demanded, clutching Andy's arm and forcing him to look at me.

"Monday."

"The date!" I hissed.

"I don't know. The twelve."

"Oh." I breathed and released his arm. Now that I had gotten used to the idea of Valentine's day, I felt better. I was just angry that it had taken me by surprise and that none of my friends were nice enough to mention it.

We proceeded walking.

"So, you don't have a Valentine?" Andy asked nonchalantly.

I chuckled bitterly, "I love how my ex chose to dump me a few weeks before V-day. How convenient for me, huh?" I said sarcastically and nudged him with my elbow.

"So, your one of those girls that don't like Valentine's day." He muttered.

I shook my head, "No," I smiled sweetly, hoping the bitterness was still there, "I _love _Valentine's day. When I _have_ a Valentine." I mumbled the second sentence in a lower voice.

**A/N: The next chapter should be in narrative form as in 3****rd**** person singular. I'm thinking about it. Or maybe I'll just split it in two…**


	19. Chapter 34

**A/N: So I decided to make this chapter narrative. **

**Chapter 34: Valentine's Day. **

**Part 1. **

The sun shone hot and blazing despite the fact that it was February. The sun light peered through the curtains of the window in the Hilton hotel.

Embry tossed in the bed as he often did when he was about to wake up. His ruffling automatically woke up Laurence. She turned to watch him groan and toss.

She didn't glare at him like she usually did when people interrupted her rest. She loved being the first awake so she could enjoy watching him sleep for a few minutes. His bare back wasn't covered at all. He got too hot at night so he would usually through the comforters off him. She marvelled over his smooth russet skin and watched the muscles in his back flex and loosen as he fidgeted in his sleep.

He was amazing in her eyes.

She reached for his face so she could just touch it without waking him but she was wrapped so tightly in sheets, this seemed impossible. She slithered her bare limbs out of the tangles of sheets then tried reaching for him again.

Her fingers were barely inches from touching his cheek. His face was turned away from her but he appeared to still be sleeping. Her finger barely brushed against the smooth plane of his jaw when she found herself on her back, her hand pinned over her head.

Embry held her down, a sly grin growing on his face.

Her breathing came in short gasp and her heart was pounding at full speed. He had moved her too quickly and she still wasn't used to how fast he could move.

Laurence was startled. She stared at Embry with wide eyes waiting for him to do something or let go, but he didn't, "Let go." She said and struggled against his hold.

Embry positioned himself over her and she was suddenly very aware that they were both naked. "Happy Valentine's Day." He murmured and placed soft kisses on her throat. He loosened his grip on her and let his hand run down her waist.

Laurence sighed in delight, "Oh, so that's what this is." She giggled, running her fingers through his silky hair. He started out gentle then gradually simmered into something more intense—almost beastly.

The beeping of the alarm clock intervened in their tender embrace.

They both groaned in frustration.

"No." Embry moaned and it sounded almost pained.

"Fuck. What's the worst that can happen if I'm a few minutes late?" Laurence pulled Embry's lips to hers and kissed him. Her body instantly wrapped around him. She clutched to his arms and pulled him towards her, trying to close all the distance between them. She could feel Embry's heart beat next to hers.

"You shouldn't miss class." He pulled his lips away from hers.

Laurence trailed kisses up his jaw and sucked his earlobe. She paid no mind to his words. Embry was trying to be _responsible_. That was all he appeared to do lately. Laurence was also that kind of girl—the one to make all the good choices. But was it so wrong to be bad for once. So what if she missed a class?…or two?

"Laurence…" he groaned again. Their body rolled over so Laurence was straddling. His hands caressed her body but his guilt was evident.

She knew he felt bad for all the things she was giving him and how little he was giving back: the hotel room, helping him find a job, helping him get into school. Laurence didn't see these as favours that needed to be repaid. Embry's presence was all she needed from him. She really didn't mind helping him out. She'd rather spend every penny on him than have him live all the way in Washington.

Laurence sighed in frustration and sat up, "What?" His hesitance was beyond annoying.

"School is important. How else are you going to get a good job and take care of me?" He grinned jokingly, running his hands from her shoulder and down her arm, leaving it burning.

"Oh, so you're going to stay home and raise all the babies I'm supposed to squeeze out?" Laurence raised an eyebrow.

"That's the plan."

Laurence stared at him for a long moment. His grin didn't faze at all, he just stared back. His gaze was a little more focussed and Laurence noticed that this was a childish challenge he had started. They were having a staring contest. Laurence knew she was good at this. Her focus was totally on. The beeping of the alarm clock was getting more irritating with every passing second.

Embry cheated and started tickling her.

She shrieked and tried to restrain him. She often forgot that he wasn't human and she did not have the slightest chance to pin him down. She idly wondered how long it would take for Embry to have normal human strength. She had the rest of their lives to find out.

She gave up on pinning him down and jumped out of the bed, giggling like a little girl. She kept the sheets wrapped around her as she stood by the balcony window watching Embry nervously. She despised tickle fights. She hated being tickled and she watched as Embry stalked towards her—hunter stalking his pray.

When there was only a yard left between them she screamed, "Okay! Okay! I'll go to school." She laughed and clutched at his arms with dear life, "I'll go, I'll learn, I swear."

He grinned, "Good." He kissed her lips, "What's my schedule for the day?" Embry asked. He watched Laurence dig in her night bag and pick out clothes for the day. He turned off the buzzing alarm clock, "Do I go job hunting?

"No." Laurence shook her head, "A job comes second. Now you really have to apply for colleges. You need a job if you're going to support the babies I'm going to have."

"College then. Fun." He said sarcastically and pulled on some boxer shorts.

"College is fun." Laurence agreed, ignoring his sarcasm, "Well…that's what my friends tell me." She said, shrugging. Cosmetic school didn't exactly count as college but she liked it. She knew that was what she wanted to do.

She finished getting dressed and reluctantly walked towards the door. She wanted to spend her Valentine's Day with her Valentine.

He was right behind her. It was hard to sulk when he was standing so close, "Have a good day." He murmured, "I'll see you tonight." He promised.

Laurence's heart fluttered and she nodded, "Happy Valentine's Day." They shared a long passionate kiss before Laurence left a little disoriented.

The Masson sister's got ready for school on the blasted day of Valentine's Day. Silver wore pink to show her enthusiasm for the day but Amber was planning to act as if she wasn't even aware that it was Valentine's Day. She wore dark jeans and a purple shirt. That was enough to make the public think she was cool with today. Purple was red and blue mixed together so it was _kind of _Valentines-y.

Amber never hated Valentine's Day. She never really cared. Whether she had a boyfriend or not, it was just another day…more or less.

She just didn't want to watch everyone be all lovey dovey. She already had to watch her sister drool over her boyfriend and now she had to deal with the entire school mating like zoo animals. No thank you.

Silver always hated Valentine's day. She never had a Valentine and watching her friends get gifts and flowers from their boyfriends always made her feel bitter and a little jealous. But not this year. This year she had a boyfriend. And the best boyfriend in the world on top of that.

It was easy for Silver to forget all the fights Seth and her had gotten into ever since they first imprinted. Their love had never faded and in the end, that was what counted. She was trying to let everything else go.

Silver and Amber were back to waking up too late to even eat in the morning.

It was not a beautiful day today. It had snowed the day before and now the entire Forks was wetter and colder than usual. The snow was sticky and wet. Even after Silver warning her twice, Amber still managed to almost break her neck by tripping on the third step down the stairs.

They made it to school a few minutes later than usual. They knew because instead of just coming out of their cars, Andy and Seth were already waiting for them near the school engaging in conversation.

Amber wondered what they were talking about but shook it off, she didn't really care. She hurried out of the car, not liking to leave Andy waiting. He was the realest person she knew. It was as if everyone was always pretending and Andy was bluntly honest and true. He never pretended to be something he wasn't.

She moved too quickly through the slushy snow. She felt the moister sink threw her shoes and socks. She was less than a yard from Andy and Seth when the ice was apparently too slippery and she tripped.

Andy caught her before her knees could fall in the wet snow.

Amber's heart was racing from the shock.

"Stop spazzing, Amber." Seth laughed and jogged with ease to Silver. He lifted her and spun her around kissing her softly and wishing her a happy Valentine's Day, "Want to be my Valentine?" he asked with his boyish grin.

Silver smiled in response, "Of course, you big dumby." She squealed.

Amber wasn't paying attention to her sister, "I'm so sorry," she laughed. She clutched to Andy's forest green jacket and tried to balance herself on her feet.

Andy's cheeks engorged with blood at the proximity of Amber. She was so close he wondered if she could hear his heart racing. She would need super hearing to hear that, though. That comforted Andy. He didn't want her to know all the things that happened to him when she was near. She would never go for it. Why would Amber fall for him?

Andy wasn't stupid, he was actually really smart. He knew that Amber was out of his league. It was Steve that insisted on him talking to her even though he _knew _she had a boyfriend. _That _had been embarrassing. She had looked at him like he was the biggest freak in the world when he offered her his umbrella. She couldn't have ran faster into the arms of that giant of an ex boyfriend she had.

When Amber was settled on her feet she laughed, "God, I'm a cluts, today."

Andy couldn't disagree with her. His throat was swollen shut. He knew if he spoke his voice would come out high and cracked like a pre-pubescent teenager.

She hooked her arm in his and led them to the building, "How are you?" she asked, looking up at him with those greenigh-gray eyes that always sent his heart on a rampage.

He cleared his throat, "I'm good, you?"

She shrugged, "The day has just started. I'll have to wait and see." She squeezed his arm, "Do you have a Valentine?"

Her question caught him off guard and he tripped over his own feet. He was _spazzing out _as Seth had put it. "Uh, no. You?"

Amber was giggling from when he'd almost fallen and didn't bother answering his question.

_Of course she has one, _thought Andy. Her Valentine was probably twice as huge and a million times more handsome than her last boyfriend. He was probably worthy of her.

They entered the school and the bell rang, "Oh! The horror!" Amber gasped.

"What?" Andy looked at her than around the school. He'd expected to see the school overly decorated with frilly V-day décor but it hadn't changed since yesterday. It was still nice and subtle.

"I'm going in science. One of the few classes we don't have together." She jutted out her lower lip.

Andy watched her pink lip and wondered at the back of his head how they felt. He knew that only in his dreams could he feel them against his. Only in his dreams…

He blushed again.

Amber hugged him before going to her science class and he numbly head to his.

He dragged his feet toward his own class. He looked over his shoulder at Amber who was socializing with her other friends. Her cool friends. He couldn't help smiling just a little as he watched her laugh and enjoy herself. He had to admit that she looked better than she had a few weeks ago when her ass hole of a boyfriend broke up with her. He would never be able to understand that dude. Embry, was it?

That guy must have thought he was all that, and then some, to dump a girl like Amber.

As much as he hated seeing Amber in the pain she had been in, he had to admit that, like allot of the boys in the junior and senior classes, he was happy when the word came out that she was single. All the guys pounced on her like she was a piece of meat.

Andy's approach had been more subtle though. He didn't bombard her, he just approached her. That was a step forward. He used to just stare at her from afar and ask his friend about how she was. Even to himself he was kind of creepy.

At lunch time, Andy sat at his table of friends. He sat with the 'jocks' of the school minus the sports. They were just loud, good looking and obnoxious guys that were pretty nice when you got to know them. They all grew up together. Andy knew Steve since he was four. Andy's cousin was best friends with Steve's little sister.

"Hey Jew!" Called Aaron. He was a buff, red headed boy. Despite his red hair, he was very handsome. To Andy, he was just terribly obnoxious. Out of all his friends, Aaron was the one he liked the least.

Andy looked down as if he wasn't addressing him and sat down next to Steve at their round and crowded table. Usually it was just the guys but today, some of his friends' girlfriends were parched on the guys' lap.

"So, Steve, did you buy Amber a rose like a told you to?" Steve asked in a voice entirely too loud to keep it private. He smiled his cocky grin, his blue eyes were shinning with the sign of a challenge. Sometimes Andy thought Steve wanted Amber to be with Amber more than he wanted to be with her, himself. He kept thinking of 'plans' to get them alone.

They had the attention of everyone on their table. It seemed like everyone knew Andy loved Amber except for Amber. That upset Andy. He thought he'd been pretty good at hiding his feelings for her.

"Yeah, I don't see the point ,though." Andy rolled his eyes and started taking down one out of my two sandwiches.

"The point is that you like her." Jason said, laughing at his shocked expression. It was insane how loud they were talking. Over the babble of the other students in the cafeteria, it was as if their table was the loudest. There was a big chance that no one was paying attention to them but Andy was still paranoid. He didn't want Amber to hear. Anyone but her.

"Maybe even _love _her." Aaron added, laughing arrogantly and biting into a green apple. His skin reddened with his loud laughter and Jason shook his head at him.

"I don't like her!" Andy hissed in a whisper glaring at Jason. "And I most definitely don't love her." He glared at all the sniggering faces at his table. "We're just friends." He added ruefully, wishing it wasn't so. He desperately wished that they _weren't _just friends. He didn't want to send Amber a rose but Steve had forced him to and now it was too late to take I back. Would she guess his feelings for her? Would that be so bad?

"If you're just friends, then you don't mind me saying how _hot _she looks today." Aaron said, his grin spreading on his face. Aaron didn't have a girl on his lap so he was free to say what he pleased.

Andy didn't pay attention to him. He knew he was just saying things to bother him. He wasn't so hard headed to be agitated by him.

"It's a good change. I missed it." He continued, "She was so hot in the beginning of the year and then it went down when her Quileute dumped her but now she's back and _damn! _Can she come back." He and the other guys chuckled like morons—some of them got smacked by their girlfriends for laughing, "Her body is slamming!"

"I heard she was a dancer back in Montreal." Jason said. "She could do the splits and everything."

Jason girlfriend was sitting in the chair next to him and she glared at him.

"Bet you'd like that, Andy. I'm sure you'd love to watch that sexy redhead do all sorts of flexible shit."

Andy blushed at the image Aaron had put in his head but tried to ignore his furry. He hated hearing them speak of her like that. It didn't matter that she was beautiful. She had so much to her than just that.

"Watch how he blushes!" Aaron crowed in victory,

"Blusher! Blusher! Blusher!" The guys started to chant and slam at the table in harmony.

The cafeteria went quiet and everyone was looking at them.

Andy smirked a tiny bit when Steve joined in the chant and shook him out of his bad mood.

"Hey!" A voice shouted. They all stopped and looked at Amber who was standing on her chair with a playfully angry look on her face, "You idiots calm down or else!" she giggled and sat down.

Steve leaned towards Andy, not taking his eyes off Amber and whispered. "That's your future girlfriend."

**A/N: The next chapter is also V-Day. I don't like the Holiday but I did like the movie :D **


	20. Valentine's Day: Part 2

**Valentine's Day: Part 2.**

Amber sat in her class paying close attention to the teacher. It was the before last term and she knew that there was no time for funny business when it came to school. She had to focus. She wasn't going to make a silly thing like Valentine's Day bother her.

There was a knock at the classroom door and the teacher let in two students. But these weren't regular students, they were the worst part of Valentine's day.

The roses.

A girl and a boy came in the class. The girl was wearing a shiny red dress that clung to her shape and broke several dress code violations and the guy was wearing a black suit with a pink tie. He carried a guitar and played softly while the girl called out names and danced to the students who had received a rose.

Amber focused on her work and ignored the squealing of the eager girls who got roses from their crushes and boyfriends.

She jumped when the Rose giver called her name.

"Huh? What?" She looked up from her sheet of paper. Her heart was racing from the unwanted attention she was getting.

"One, two…_three _roses for you!" she skipped over to Amber and dropped the three red roses on her desk. Each of them had an envelope tied to them with a thin, yellow ribbon.

Amber sighed. She hoped this wouldn't happen. She was sure that these roses were from the jerks who'd pounced o a broken hearted girl. None of these guys cared about her. She didn't even want to look at them.

Her curiosity got the best of her eventually. When the Roses left and the other kids were still psyched over the roses, Amber couldn't help glancing down at her three roses. She never liked flowers. To her, they were overly cliché and smelly.

One of the roses was from Jason. She rolled her eyes. He was the worst of them all. He tried _way _too hard. She didn't even bother glancing at his letter. She would thank him for the rose out of courtesy and nothing else.

The second one was from Christina. Amber stifled a giggle and read the witty sentence Christina had written for her.

_Happy Valentine's Day. Boys are stupid anyways._

She stifled another giggle.

"Who sent you Roses?" Julie asked. Her black hair fell over her shoulder as she tried to stick her pointy nose in Amber business.

"I'm _looking._" Amber tried not to hiss but she didn't really like Julie. She ignored her peering over her shoulder as she took the third rose.

Her first reaction was shock when she saw who it was from. The flood of warmth came afterwards and she couldn't help but smile. Finally. A boy who cared. A boy who didn't want to date her. This boy just wanted to be genuinely nice.

_Andy._

His letter had made her entire day. He didn't say much. He just wrote that he thought she was cool and felt lucky to have her as a friend. He also added the traditional 'Happy Valentine's Day' and 'Love, Andy'.

He was such a sweet kid. She suddenly couldn't wait for the bell to ring so she could thank him for his kind gesture. He didn't have to. She hadn't gotten him a rose. Maybe she should have. It would have made sense. They spent so much time together lately it would only be the decent thing to do to spend 3 bucks on a rose for him. Andy was worth that much. That she was sure of.

She pushed the two other roses to the end of her desk and played with the rose Andy had sent her. She held it to her nose and inhaled the scent. It wasn't that bad. Maybe she hated flowers because no one had ever given her flowers. She twirled the flower between her index and thumb and thought of how nice Andy was and how lost she'd be without him.

When the bell rang, she picked up all her books and tossed the roses on top of them. She treated the third flower with care and hurried out of her class.

She had to see Andy, fast, and thank him for the rose.

"Hey Andy!" she shouted when she saw him packing his book in his locker.

He glanced up at her and smiled. He waved and waited for her to make her way through the crowd, "Hi Amber," he said in his normal, calm voice. "How was your class?"

"It was great. Thanks to you." She added a bit shyly. She didn't understand why she was all of a sudden nervous to speak to Andy. He was Andy. She was acting crazy. She cleared her throat and smiled him. "Thanks for the flower, Andy, it was my favourite."

"Your…favourite?" he cocked his head to the side. He seemed confused.

Amber nodded, "Yeah, Jordan got me one and I don't care about him. Christina got me one, too, but we were just kidding. But yours. Yours was special. So here." Amber took one of the roses—the one that wasn't her favourite—and offered it to Andy. She had ripped off the letters and ribbons from both flowers.

Andy blushed, "You don't have to give me that." He laughed nervously and turned to find something in his locker. If she didn't know better she'd think he was avoiding her gaze. That was so unlike him. He was always shy but not…distant.

"Well, I figured it would be appropriate since I was going to ask you to be my Valentine." Amber flushed.

Andy spun around, "Really?" he was suddenly enthusiastic and excited.

"Would I toy with you like that?" she grinned.

He shook his head, "Guess not."

"So I'll meet you at your car after school?" Amber guessed. It would be the first time she'd be without Silver but she was sure her sister wanted to be with her boyfriend on Valentine's Day of all days. She tried not to think of _what _they'd be doing alone though. That was just too gross for her to stomach.

"Okay." His voice cracked and he blushed deeper.

Amber laughed and rolled her eyes. Someone bumped her and she slammed into Andy. She turned to glared at her sister laughing and walking away with her Seth.

Silver held on to Seth's arm and buried her face in his arm. She gasped for air as she laughed herself pink.

"You shouldn't do that." Seth said, holding back his own booming laughter, "It's hard enough on him as it is."

Silver giggled, "He's going to have to grow a little more balls than that if he wants to get with a Masson." She looked over her shoulder and watched her sister with the boy she pitied. He was going to have to try a little harder than that. She wanted him to succeed and date her sister but Amber wasn't going to know he liked her if he was going to be so shy about it.

Amber must have been stupid because that boy was obviously in love with her. She wondered if Amber just pretended not to see it and hoped it would go away. Silver knew Andy wasn't the typical guy Amber used to date but he was cute and nice and sweeter than most of the guys at this school. Besides Seth of course

"Promise you won't be mad?" Seth asked, smiling sheepishly.

Silver automatically assumed the worst and her heart sank in her stomach. She couldn't even think straight. What kind of stupid thing had he done this time? She couldn't speak so she just nodded.

"I didn't really plan something for today." He admitted, "I'm not good at romance, you know that."

She sighed in relief, "Your super romantic." She disagreed.

"You think?" he beamed, "Because I think you _deserve _romance. You're the best girl ever, Sil. You deserve everything."

She rolled her eyes and hit him with the big teddy bear he'd gotten her. Apparently, the Roses made special deliveries. She'd named the big stuffed animal Seth. So she could think of her teddy bear when she wasn't with her teddy bear. "I don't deserve you, Seth, and you're plenty romantic. How about I just go to your place after school?"

He turned around and cupped her face to kiss her lips, "Sweet…and you coming over would be nice too."

She giggled and took his hand with her free one.

After school, Silver followed Seth in her car. Amber was going to get milkshakes with Andy but it wasn't a date. Hadn't she said that about her fist date with Embry? It wasn't technically a date back then either.

She tried not to think about him. Embry was old news. His name was rarely spoken at their house. When it was, there was no awkwardness. Silver couldn't hate him anymore. He'd tried to find her when Nahuel…

That she couldn't think of. She couldn't think of Nahuel and drive at the same time. She would drive into a tree if her mind went there. It might not have been by accident. Silver would never purposely hurt her car though.

She parked in front of Seth's house and followed him inside.

"You say I'm romantic but we're spending Valentine's Day at my house." He grumbled. Obviously wishing he'd thought of something more creative like snorkelling or sky diving.

"We're here. Alone. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine's Day." Silver wrapped her arms around his neck and stretched onto her tip toes to reach his lips. Seth had to meet her halfway. She loved how he was so much taller than she was. She always wanted to date a really tall guy.

Seth locked her face to his and kissed her passionately. His hot lips felt amazing against hers. She gripped at his thick hair and pulled him closer. But there was no getting closer than they already were. Seth let his hands run down her body and Silver gasped when he lifted her and pulled her legs so she'd wrap them around him.

She felt her heart rate quicken and she clung tighter to him as he walked down the steps to his bedroom. She couldn't focus when he was this close. Seth set her on his bed and she didn't stop him when he took off his shirt. Most of her wanted this. He was so amazing and gorgeous and _hers._ She could do whatever she wanted with him. He didn't only have a gorgeous body, his face was the best thing in the world and his personality was out of this world. He was hardly real.

He lay next to her and pulled her face to his. When they kissed it was like she was exploding. He was burning her, but in a good way. Every touch was intense, she was ultra sensitive to his skin. He helped her out of her winter jacket and vest then pulled her to him.

"I want to have sex, Sil." He said

His words didn't exactly turn her off—nothing could do that—it just brought her closer to reality and she managed to think straight.

"Is that question?" she asked, pulling her face away. Silver was breathless but her gaze was focused.

Seth's face was suddenly dumb struck. His brain had shut off thinking mode and had gone to sex mode. It took him a while to use his head. "That…depends whether you want to or not." his tone was sceptical. He wasn't exactly sure what sentences would or would not get him in trouble.

"I can't." Silver pushed him off her a little harder and turned away to hide her tears. Her heart throbbed inside her chest. She crossed her arms and looked down. She abruptly felt the urge to cry her eyes out. She was very sad now.

She started to sob quietly.

Seth was baffled by her immediate change of mood. He rushed to her side of the bed and sat next to her, "Sil…I'm sorry. I—"

"It's only been a few weeks, Seth." She didn't look at him. She knew she looked crazy but it was true, it _had _only been a few weeks.

"I know, I—"

"You can't go without it for a few weeks? Not even for me?" she looked at him. She didn't want to fight with him but her anger was searing through her. They had promised they'd never fight. She tried to keep that in mind. But how _dare _he? She'd said she didn't want to be intimate for a while.

"I can, Silver. I love you." Seth panicked at her assumptions.

"I know you do. And you love sex."

"Well, yeah, you're kind of good at it." He nudged her with his elbow. He tried to make a joke but Silver glared at him and he shrunk away.

"Do you know why I can't do it?" She asked him, "Do you _understand_?" she ignored how hot her face felt. She wasn't anticipating the conversation but she knew it had to be done. She wasn't a virgin, that boat had sailed months ago, but she considered herself a widow in some ways. Sure, she'd never been married but still.

"Well, I know _why _. It doesn't matter whether I know why or not." He shrugged, embarrassed.

Silver didn't want to make him feel bad but she had that right. He'd put her through way worse than just embarrassment. He'd put her through heart wrenching agony. She didn't hold him against it but it was the truth, "I loved him." She said, trying to make her voice sound stronger than she felt, "Nahuel was…I loved him. And when I was over there, we were a couple, Seth. He was more than just my _boyfriend._" She closed her eyes, the pain had returned when she remembered her heaven in Argentina.

"I was your boyfriend first." He mumbled.

"I know. But you're not dead. He didn't kill you. He would _never _have_—_" She cut herself short. She didn't want to guilt trip Seth. She wanted him to understand, "Look at it this way. If you died"—she shuttered at the unbearable thought—"and I started dating someone else a few _weeks _later, how would that make me look? I'd look like a…a slut."

"You were my girlfriend first." Seth kept his eyes on his lap. "No one even knows about you guys. No one would think that."

"I'll think it." She whispered so low that less sensitive ears wouldn't have heard her. Silver didn't look at Seth who was suddenly studying her, "I _do _want to make love to you, Seth, but I'm afraid of what I'll think of myself afterwards. I can't let go of him yet. I just…" she shook her head frantically.

"I'm such a jerk. I should have known. I'm sorry, Silver. No more sex. I won't even touch you if that's what you want. Just don't feel bad."He begged, hesitating to touch her. His hand hovered over her shoulder than he laid it down on the bed.

Silver sighed, "Thanks."

They both sat very still, blushing and not speaking.

Silver took Seth's hand and the corner of his lips turned up.

Much to Amber's disappointment; they didn't sell milkshakes till spring time. Andy didn't mind buying them a meal at a small deli. Amber wasn't the type to turn down food. Ever.

It was only normal to go out for dinner with her Valentine. The fact that it might be a date never crossed her mind. She knew Andy wouldn't think of it as a date. Andy was the only guy who would _know _this wasn't a date.

She couldn't even imagine having the I'm-not-ready-to-date talk with Andy. She couldn't even think about it. It wasn't going to happen. Andy would never put her in that situation, and Andy didn't look at her that way.

They sat at a booth and ordered their food.

"I'm very glad that you're my Valentine." Amber said with a smile.

"Me too." Andy smile back at her.

It wasn't hard for them to be alone in a date-like environment. Amber was utterly comfortable and the more she spoke to Andy, the less shy he became. He asked her questions. Questions he'd always wanted to ask her but never got the chance. How was it in Canada? How was her childhood? Her parents? Everything.

Amber was flattered that he cared so much.

"How did it end with you and that other guy?" he asked.

Amber's eyes widened but his question didn't hurt her. She was just surprised that shy old Andy was brave enough to ask a question that had absolutely nothing to do with him, "Um…" she hesitated.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"No, I don't mind." She replied quickly, "We, um, we'd been dating for a long time—6 months actually—and the whole break ordeal was my fault." she nodded.

"How come? He pressed and tilted his head to the side.

Amber chewed on her lip. She wanted to talk to Andy like she would to any of her friends. "I…I…" she blushed and looked away from Andy's curious gaze. His brown eyes saw too much. She felt like he already knew what she'd done. She flushed, "I slept with him and I wasn't ready. I was a…virgin before him."

"He dated you for six months for…sex?" he looked disgusting.

"No!" she was appalled by the idea too. She'd never even thought of that. She didn't know why Embry left but she was positive that—once upon a time—he loved her. "It wasn't like that with Embry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have suggested…I was so stupid." Thinking about it gave her a head ache. Her eyes startied to sting at the thought of how she'd ruined everything.

Everything.

"Are you still…in love with him?"

Amber looked up with wide eyes again. Andy ceased to surprise her, "No! Of course not." She shook her head.

Andy was hesitant.

"I'm not. I'm over _him, _I'm just not over…it."

Andy didn't say anything.

"But, before Silver was kidnapped and everything, I used to go for walks to clear my mind. I would be walking in random directions and then I'd figure out that I was walking in direction of La Push." She looked down at the table, her throat constricting. She'd never told anyone that before and she felt vulnerable. "I guess I was subconsciously trying to go to him…but I'd always notice what I was doing and turn around.

Andy didn't speak.

That was probably best. Amber didn't know _what _he could say to make her feel less weak and pathetic. When she looked up at him, he didn't look like he was judging her at all. He looked worried, but who wouldn't be? She didn't feel frightened that he might be thinking how crazy and desperate she was.

Andy was speechless. He hadn't expected _that _much from her. He was surprise that she would confide into him like that. It upset him how scarred she was from this whole break-up thing. He knew none of this was as hard on him as it was on her. He didn't even care about the slight stinging her words had caused him.

She wasn't a virgin.

That didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. It was that she'd slept with _him. _He didn't deserve that from her. Did Embry—he hated to think his name—have any idea how lucky he was? And Amber thought he loved her. Did he even? Why wasn't he here then? Andy didn't want to undermine Amber but Embry was clearly a prick.

"Thanks." Amber murmured.

"Pardon?" he looked up at her face. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were curved into a small smile. It was kind of pained but she worked hard to keep it there.

"Thanks. For everything. Your awesome, Andy. I'm sorry I don't tell you how much I appreciate you more often." She reached her hand over the table as if to take his hand. He couldn't be sure what she meant so he didn't move his from under the booth, "You mean allot to me. You're the coolest guys in the whole school. I mean, I have guy friends, guys who want to be my 'friend"—she did air quotes—"and then there's you. You actually _care. _At least, you make me feel that way. You're a really good friend to me, Andy, and I love you. You listen to me and you never judge and you might not talk allot but…if you ever have a problem—with anything—I'll try to be like you. Just listen. And I'll give advice when you ask. You're a really good friend."

Andy smiled. It was nice to know that he meant so much to her. Maybe she cared for him as much as he cared for her.

She'd said she loved him.

Andy's heart fluttered and he knew his face was bright pink. He loved her too. He loved her so much. She was his reason to going to school every day. She was the coolest and funniest in town. She was always so bright and happy all the time. She was the most amazing person he'd ever know.

He felt a spark of hope for them. She _could _get over Embry and be happy with someone else. Amber had that potential. She was able to be happy. Maybe with him.

Then he remembered she had called him a good friend. She cherished their friendship. She loved his presence, as a friend. After what she'd been through, would she be able to endanger a friendship for something a bit stronger? He doubted she could do that.

_Aw, Crap._


	21. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35: I won't say it**

**Amber's POV.**

"Um, I don't really get this one, could you explain?" I looked up at Andy who was focused on his own notes for the trigonometry exam, my favourite math subject—I'm actually serious, trigonometry is really easy and I totally get. Well, except for this one number. It wasn't that it was like in Chinese, it was more like I had to look at the problem for 10 minutes before I knew what to do after figuring out the area. That was ten minutes that I couldn't afford to lose.

Andy was a wiz in practically everything that had to do with school. Except for gym class, even though he'd never admit it, but, come on, like there was a sport Andy's flimsy body could be good at.

"Yup?" Andy said.

"Look, I'm just not completely sure what to do after getting the area through Sine. I just block right after because it's not a right triangle so…" I looked up at him, smiling sheepishly. I hoped he didn't hate me too much for wasting his time with silly questions.

"Okay, well it's simple, you have so many options, you could cut it here and make a 90 degree angle or you could add a 90 degree angle here..." He marked on my paper with his pencil. Our heads were close together as we both stared at the same piece of paper. "Then you could just do Pythagoras—"

"Okay, okay, yeah."

"Do you understand?"

"Mh hm." I nodded.

"Amber, you sure?"

I looked up at him, "Yes, I get it." I laughed at his suspicions. Sometime I felt like he was surprised that I actually wasn't really stupid. I guess I had one of those faces—the dumb blond face without the dumb blond hair.

He smiled, "Good." He went back to focussing on his notes.

I smiled and did the same. We tried to concentrate on our math but Andy and I could never focus on one thing. We were supposed to be quiet and only talk when we needed help from each other—that was the plan—but we just ended up talking. Which was how things always ended up with Andy.

"You have great hair." I said, randomly, after Andy was done talking about how _Hair Spray_ was playing on TV yesterday, but not the 2007 version, but the 1988 version. He'd found it funny and cool that Jerry Stiller was in both movies but he'd had two completely different roles. I'd seen _Hair Spray _a thousand times because Silver thought Elijah Kelley was hot.

"Yeah, the world adores Jew fros." Andy rolled him eyes and scribbled on his paper with his ball point pen.

"You don't have a Jew fro." I protested and reached towards him so I could run my fingers through his curly locks. They were softer than I thought they'd be. They weren't oily or greaser at all, the sheen his hair had was natural! Well, I was kind of jealous.

His curly hair seems to grip at my fingers and running them through his hair was something I could do all day, "You're hair is _amazing_. Really. It's not a Jew fro at all. You know who you hair reminds me of?" I pulled my gaze away from his dark brown hair to look into his dark brown eyes.

"Who?" He appeared entertained.

"A younger Nick Jonas. Like when they recorded the _It's about time_ CD."

"Am I supposed to be flattered?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." I replied, "You are. Those Jonas's have amazing hair and I would totally have sex with any of them so my kids could have that hair…Oh! To marry a Jonas Brother…" My mind skidded off to its happy place where I was Miss Kevin Jonas—or any Jonas for that matter.

The loud nasally sound of the bell made me jump. "Crap! That scared me." I leaned back into my chair and picked up my aath binder and note books.

Andy didn't move for a few seconds. When I looked up to ask him what was up, he was back to normal—or as normal as Andy was able to be.

I waited for him to get his things together and we walked out of class.

Christina came towards me with Gaby and Tessy.

"Okay, so, Andy, I'll call you, kay? We could probably to something tonight." I suggested.

"I have work till six, so I'll drop by after work?"

"I don't know. Text me and we'll see." I waved him goodbye and skipped towards my friends. The reason I hadn't said yes to Andy's offer was because it looked like Cristina and the girls might want to do something and I'd been spending most of my time with Andy. I didn't want to ditch all my friends for one guy—even if that guy was Andy.

"Bye Andy!" the girls chimed together.

Andy looked over his shoulder, a little bit traumatized.

I giggled at his reaction.

"I've never noticed it before," Christina said, "But Andy is kind of gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore how Cristina's comment had irritated me. I loved her but, jeez. Before, she never even noticed Andy—she even thought he was strange and random. And now that I was friends with him, he was suddenly good looking—not even just good looking but _gorgeous._

"Ooh! You _like _him." Gabby sang, skipping around me and shaking my shoulders. She was smiling, as if me _liking _someone would be a stupendous and amazing thing.

"Uh, of course I like him, he's awesome." I started walking towards the exit of the school. It wasn't normal for us to stay in the halls and talk when school was finished and it was time to go home.

"No, we mean you _really _like him." Tessy nodded eagerly, making her look like a chocolate brown leprechaun.

It took me a few seconds to understand what they meant then another couple of seconds to react to it. "What?" I squeaked, "No! No! Oh _God, _no." I shook my head and tried to get as far away from my friends and their insane thoughts as possible. They were crazy.

Sure, Andy was nice, and sweet and funny. He had an amazing personality and I was fine with spending all of my free time with him and no one else. He might have been the one person I truly trusted in a long time and maybe I did notice that he was kind of cute. But none of that meant I _liked _him.

"She's being defensive, that means it's true." Christina murmured.

I backed away from them and found that my back was pressed against a locker. I had literally nowhere to run or hide.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jenny entered the half circle that was trapping me.

"We're discussing Amber's crush on Andy." Gabby said.

"_Finally. _I wanted to say something about it last month."Jenny grumbled.

"_What?" _I shouted, "You're all crazy, there is nothing going on between me and Andy." I tried not to pay attention to the flipping my stomach did at the thought of _something_ going on between me and Andy. I couldn't want that.

"Oh! Who do you think you're kidding?" Tessy laughed, "We can all see that this guy means the world to you."

"He means the world to me because he understands me." I said nothing but the truth. Andy was the only person who understood me. He got me more than any of my friends. I cared and trusted him way more than I had ever trusted any guy. Even Embry.

My realisation for my own emotion smashed into me like a punch to the face.

What was wrong with me? Hadn't I learned my lesson yet? Couldn't I see that the guys you cared for and loved were the ones that could hurt you the most? Was I mentally disable or just stupid?

Embry was nice too. He was funny and amazing and everything I could have ever asked for in a man. At least, that's how I felt before I'd met Andy. I guess I didn't know what to ask for. Andy was indescribable.

They were moving in closer to me. Well, that's how I felt, "I have to go!" I yelled and shoved them out of my way. I practically ran to Silver car—she was waiting in the driver's seat—and threw my books in the back seat.

I sat next to Silver in the passenger seat and bounced my knee. It was a nervous habit of mine.

I didn't like Andy.

It was my choice, and that was the choice I was making.

I didn't like Andy.

"What's up with you?" Silver asked.

"I don't like Andy!" I hissed.

She jumped and glared at me, "What the hell? I didn't even ask that? Why are you such a jerk to me? I hate you." She started car, still frowning.

I sighed. I didn't want to fight with Silver but I had more important things on my mind like, well, Andy. What was I going to do about Andy? Was I going to say that we couldn't hang out today? I really wanted to see him though. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him for the right reasons, though. It had to be because he was my friend and I liked spending time with him.

When we got home, Silver took a shower then went to Melanie's house. My mom was going to be home at around 5, so that left me one huge hour of nothing to do but think of my mistakes.

I looked out the window and noticed that most of the snow had melted. We were just a few days away from spring time and it wasn't super cold out outside. The pavement wasn't that wet either…

I wanted to go biking.

I wanted to be able to go somewhere far.

My decision was already made. I put on a grey hoodie and went into our backyard. I couldn't remember the last time I'd stepped foot back here. The back yard was really only here for decoration. There was too much free space back here for nothing. If it was hot here, at least we could have a pool—maybe even a Jacuzzi—but it was too cold for either of those things.

With a sigh, I headed for the old shed and forced the rusty door open. My mom always talked about replacing this thing but since none of us had been in the backyard in a while we hadn't gotten to it.

I stepped into the dark and scary shed. I glanced over my shoulder every once in a while, afraid of spiders or any other critter that could been hiding in here. I shuddered at the thought of a rat or a racoon.

I felt for one of our bikes and yanked it out. It wheeled out with ease and I was on it and biking off in a time of half a second.

I loved biking. Even though it was kind of cold, the wind felt nice against my face. The best part though, was the feeling of being sportingly active. I wasn't a couch potato. I was going out and being healthy and active.

I headed towards La Push on purpose. I wanted to go to the beach. I hadn't been in months. I liked how I was going to the beach for myself. I wasn't going to La Push to catch a glimpse of Embry or what we once had at La Push. My trip to La Push had absolutely nothing to do with him. I loved the beach here, it was beautiful and it didn't sting to think back at my first trip to First Beach with Embry, it was way before I was even interested in him.

I sighed and kept biking.

When I reached the beach I felt a sense of accomplishment. First Beach wasn't very close to home so biking there was kind of a big deal.

I got off my bike and walked onto the sand. Thankfully, the sand was wet, so rolling my bike on it was easy.

As if this day couldn't get any better, the clouds moved causing the sun to shine gloriously. I felt warmer, already. All the drama was automatically forgotten. Andy was nowhere near the surface of my mind. I should just focus on the things I could control for the time being, like my grades and finding a dress from prom that was a few months away.

"Amber!" Someone yelled. The voice was unfamiliar and high pitched.

I turned around, not knowing who I was expecting to see and smiled when I saw the shortest person I knew running towards me. Her short black hair bounced against her shoulders. She smiled widely for me, showing off adorable dimples and her missing front teeth.

"Hi Claire!" I said, bending down to hug the little girl. I had only met her a handful of times but we'd gotten along right away. I'd always gotten along very well with children. I never knew why. That was why I definitely wanted to raise children in my future…just not carry them for nine months and bring them into this world through my vagina. "How are you big girl? You came all the way to the beach all by yourself?"

She giggled, "No! I came wiss Quil." Her pronunciation was all off without her front teeth but she got an A plus in being really cute.

"Hey Amber." Quil announced his presence in his usual, deep husky voice.

I straightened up right away so I'd be eye to eye with him. I'd be lying if Quil didn't make me a tad nervous right now. He was my ex's best friend, of course I was a little baffled by his presence. I tried not to make any of that show though. I smiled at him.

He looked a little embarrassed and I sensed an awkward moment brewing, "I didn't expect to see you here." He said.

"I don't usually chill here. So…yeah…" And then there was the awkward silence. Claire had ran off and started making castles out of piles of sand. "So, how've you been?" I finally asked.

"I've been good. You know, just…chilling."

I laughed, "You best friend is a 5 year old, are you aware of this?"

He laughed too and it seemed to make this situation a little less excruciating, "Yeah. Whatever. How have _you _been? I haven't heard of you in a while."

"That tends to happen after break-ups…but I've been good! Really, awesome." I nodded, "How's…Embry?" I asked hesitantly, my throat tightening up around his name. My face immediately flushed under Quil's gaze and I looked towards the water at Claire.

"He actually moved away. To California."

"Oh!" I was surprised by that fact but slightly relieved that I would never accidently bump into him, "So, he's going to school in L.A or something like that?"

"Something like that." He fidgeted.

"What? What could—" I cut myself off, studying Quil's nervous expression. As quickly as my face had heated up, it had blanched just as rapidly and I wasn't so warm anymore. I didn't let that show though. It didn't hurt that bad, "He's with a girl isn't he?" that was okay. That was really fine. So he was probably dating someone. I was glad that it didn't kill me to know this but it did kind of sting.

Quil grimaced. He obviously wasn't enjoying this conversation with his friends ex-girlfriend, "Amber, it's really none of my business to be talk—"

"Oh! No. Quil I don't want you to _gossip _about him or anything. Forget I even asked." I tried to shake the thought out of my head. As much as I was over Embry, I didn't want to imagine him with some other girl. Or worse, some other girl who was prettier than me.

"Are you sure you're alright, Am? Seth told me some stuff…"

I scoffed, "Wow! Seth and his big mouth." I laughed, hoping that I didn't look entirely insane. I definitely didn't want to talk about my first couple of days after the break-up. Of course it wasn't so nightmarish after the whole Silver ordeal but it was still pretty humiliating. I ignored Quil's focused glare and kept laughing to the point that I looked ridiculous. I finally gave up pretending like I had brushed of Embry's rejection like dust on my shoulder and sighed, "I'm really fine now. It was hard before but now I'm alright…thanks."

Quil smiled warmly, "That really good because Jake and I have been worrying about you." He admitted.

"Why didn't you call then?"

He shrugged, "We didn't know what we'd say." We were silent again. Neither of us had much to say. Quil was right not to call I guess. I mean, without Embry there, things between us would be awkward. He wasn't _my _friend. He was Embry's.

"Quil! Help me dig!" Claire yelled.

"Coming Claire-bear!" he replied to her. "That's kind of my cue to go." He hugged me really quick then jogged toward the little girl who was seated in the wet sand.

My phone vibrating in my pocket made me jump. I took my phone and noticed the text from Andy. A smile toyed at the corner of mouth but I bit down on my lip.

Just because I liked Andy, it didn't mean I was saying it loud.


	22. Chapter 36

**A/N: Yo, I'm really trying to wrap this story up and go back to She Wolf but, damn, getting ideas is hard!**

**Chapter 36: High.**

**Amber's POV.**

Okay. So I liked Andy. So what? I tried not to make it bother me. I figured that it would fade away. I thought that maybe as time progressed I would see Andy and wonder what I ever saw in him. But of course it wasn't that easy because Andy wasn't some random guy that I just so happened to have a crush on.

As the days turned into weeks, I found myself falling more and more for Andy. It seemed to change everything about me. Our relation remained the same though. Andy didn't change the way he acted around me, probably because he didn't notice the things that were changing inside me.

It wasn't really something you could see. It was more like the way _I _saw Andy changed. He went from awkward nerdy looking guy to sort of cute then unbearably adorable and downright attractive. He couldn't have changed much in just a few weeks, could he? But he _did_ change. His arms that I once considered bony and skinny looked slightly rounded with muscles. His voice sounded deeper, manlier, his eyes were beautiful and comforting, I constantly ran my fingers through his thick, curly hair. He made me feel things I hadn't felt in a long time. Some of the things he said made me smile even several minutes after he'd said it, some of the things he said made my stomach feel all strange and fluttery.

I was in this so deep and it was so frustrating because Andy didn't seem to notice or care. He hadn't asked me out once. He hadn't even looked at me the way some of the other guys at my school did. It was hard for me to believe he didn't care but…maybe he didn't want me like I wanted him.

Andy was the only person who knew how much I'd been broken. I was fixed now though. I was really so much better I never even thought about Embry. Of course I couldn't _forget _him. But he was becoming a blip in my memory. Embry Call was old news.

I shook my head at how complicated things had to be. They didn't have to be like this.

I checked my cell phone to see if Andy had sent me a text message.

He hadn't.

I sighed and looked into my full length mirror. There was a party tonight. It was Kevin's birthday and he was having a huge house party. Kevin and I weren't really friends—he was in Silver's grade so I really didn't even know the kid—but his party was supposed to go down in the history of parties and I'd be damned if I was missing out on it.

"You look _hot._" Christina nodded with a huge grin on her face.

I smiled too, in total agreement. I was wearing a tiny black dress that clung to every inch of my body. For the first time, I actually looked like I had boobs! The dress was really short but I was wearing stockings so I shouldn't freeze. I slipped into my black heels and smiled even wider.

What would Andy think? The thought not only excited me, but it made butterflies flutter around in my stomach. I wasn't stupid, I understood that this dress may or may not make guys have suggestive and explicit thoughts about me, but all I really wanted was for Andy to notice me. I didn't want him to pounce on me or grope me or anything like that. If this dress—this extremely slutty dress—could make him look twice, I'd be satisfied.

I had permission from my mom to go this party and Silver was in her room with Seth—which my mom wasn't exactly aware of—so Christina and I didn't have to go through much to get from my room to her car. I had slipped into a jacket and made sure I'd locked the front door before leaving.

Kevin's party was a BYOB party so we had a pack of poppers in the back seat. Neither of us thought about how we'd get home afterwards. That was more something my little sister would think of—things like the consequences to our actions. Our main focus was to have fun. I was going to have fun and party and hopefully have Andy notice me.

It was impossible to miss Kevin's house. Music was boomingly loud and there we kids drinking on the front lawn of his house. We could see Kevin's dad glancing out the window anxiously from the second story where the party clearly wasn't being held. Lights flashed from the basement and we could see and hear the people singing and dancing.

Christina and I were invited in and grinned at by several guys. We were escorted to the hot and loud basement where the party was really happening. There was no furniture in the basement at all as if Kevin's parents were terrified we'd break a couch. There was a bar though, where Kevin was serving out drinks in the exchange for money.

We immediately headed for the crowded dance floor, at first we danced with each other but we eventually separated and started dancing with guys.

I had my drink in hand and grinded with some guy that I didn't really know his name. He was a good dancer though and he didn't grip at me like we'd be having sex in five seconds.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I cursed. I hated when people called when they _knew _I was at a party. The fact that it was Andy didn't make me any less frustrated. I read his text once and felt my heart sink into my stomach. I had to read it five more times before fully comprehended what he was saying. After trying to breathe in the humid and smoky air of the dance floor I understood.

He wasn't coming.

I squirmed away from the guy that wouldn't stop grinding his groin against me and went up the stairs where it was quieter. I was angry and frustrated and just plain pissed. I couldn't believe he was standing me up. I literally couldn't believe that this was really happening.

I went outside where the cold wasn't evident right away. It was so hot inside that I was sweating a little and the cold air felt good against my humid skin. I took my phone and called Andy. I furiously held the phone to my ear and tapped my foot impatiently against the wet grass.

"Hey, Amber—" Andy answered on the second ring.

"What do you mean you're not coming?" I demanded, sounding allot more like his mother than anything else.

"I don't know. I guess I just don't feel like going. It's not really my type of scene." He said breezily, like he didn't notice how mad I was.

I swallowed my frustration, "So the coolest party of the year just isn't your scene?" I hissed but maybe I didn't sound angry because Andy laughed. It was throaty and maybe a little nervous but it was laughter.

"I guess I'm weird like that, huh, Amber?"

I blinked hard to keep my eyes from tearing. I wanted to tell Andy that I really wanted him here—that the only reason I was well enough to be here was because of him—but that would sound weak and desperate so I cleared my throat, "Yeah, whatever. Bye Andy." I hung up and crossed my arms in front of my chest. A few tears fell and I tried catching them before the messed up my make-up.

I shook it off. This was a party. I was supposed to be having fun. So what if Andy wasn't coming? I tried to tell myself that I didn't care, or at least that it didn't kill me that he wasn't coming. I didn't go inside right away. I stayed in the middle of the lawn drinking my Popper by myself.

"Hey," a guy walked up to me with a smile and two bottles of Smirnoff Ice in hand. "Amber, right? You're in my history class." The guy was kind of cute—he was well built, his hair was light brown and kind of wavy.

I smiled at him. He was kind of familiar, "Yeah. You're Francis, right?"

"Frankie, actually," he handed me his unopened bottle of Smirnoff and I took it. I was glad to have someone to talk to. I wondered If Andy would be jealous but then I remembered that Andy didn't look at me that way. Maybe he was gay. That would maybe make me feel better.

"Oh, sorry." I apologised, opening the bottle and taking a swig.

"It's cool, Amber, you could call me whatever you like."

"I like Frankie." _Like Frankie Jonas, _I added mentally. Frankie and I got to talking and to be completely honest, he was kind of conceded. I was all for a guy who were confident but Frankie was all that and then some. But he was cute so I didn't turn him down. I finished my drink and quickly found a can of something highly concentrated with alcohol.

Frankie led me to the backyard of the house where there was less people. A few of them were dancing to the music that was still audible from inside the house. Some other people were sitting in a circle on the floor. That's where Frankie invited me to sit. He didn't present me to his friends because I knew most of them. Nicole from chemistry, Marie, Sandra, Gordon, Kyle, Fred, Karl…

"Amber! Hey!" Sandra beamed and invited me to take to free spot next to her.

"Hey, Sandra." I sat down and tried not to show my discomfort in sitting on the floor. I knew I wasn't going to stay here long with them. I would just spend a few minutes with them then go back to dancing with whomever Christina or any other girl I knew was dancing with.

"Want some?" Sandra smile, offering me a tiny white pill. I didn't know what it was but it looked like some kind of drug. White, flat and cylinder shaped and with a thin crease splitting it in half.

I didn't know what it was or how'd she'd gotten her hands on it but I shook my head automatically, "No. No thank you." I said politely, already feeling a pull towards the house and away from these people. If this was what these losers were into then I wanted to have some real fun.

But then a flame sparked and I wrinkled my nose at the familiar scent that smelled kind of bad then afterwards not that bad. I watched as Frankie brought the thin white cigarette to his lips and inhaled. He then blew a gust of kind of sweet smelling thick white smoke out of his mouth. He didn't cough so he'd clearly done it before.

Marijuana.

I grimaced as they passed it on to one another and the white smoke thickened around us like a rerun of _That 70's show _. Inhaling it alone made me feel a little light headed so when Sandra offered me the weed I didn't say no. I wasn't doing it because of peer pressure or anything like that. I'd already smoked weed once before and it wasn't so bad. I didn't _love _it because I hated smoking period but, I mean, I was at a party wasn't I? I never claimed to be an angel—I wasn't like my sister who wanted everyone to think she was perfect. I was me, I did mistakes, I did bad things to have fun.

So I took one quick puff from the stuff and fought the urge to cough. Nobody asked me not to leave when I got up and tried to head back into the party.

I walked around the house to enter from the front door. I started tripping on my own feet as I walked on the front lawn. My lack of balance irritated me a bit. Yeah, so I might have had a few drinks and the pot didn't make me more sober but I wasn't dead drunk. My head wasn't spinning and I didn't _feel _drunk but I was more or less tipsy.

I ended up tripping on the grass and slowly found my way onto my feet.

"Amber?"

I looked up from my dress that thankfully wasn't scuffed with grass or mud.

My heart literally stopped beating for a second. After, it was beating so fast in my ear that I couldn't even hear myself think. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I tried to make myself smile but I couldn't. "Andy."

"Amber, are you okay? I drive by and I see you on the floor! Gosh, I freaked for a second." He tried to help me get balanced on my feet. His warm, slender fingers wrapped around my forearm, pulling me up onto my feet.

I was in shock for a few seconds. I hadn't expected him to come. I was surprised and above all that, angry. My face burned with frustration and I yanked my arm away. I glared at him, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming."

"I was joking—"

"It wasn't a funny joke. I was so pissed and upset. I…" I took deep breath to steady myself. My head was starting to hurt with all these mixed emotions.

"Amber…what's that smell?" He leaned closer to me and my heart jumped out of my chest. The way he approached me, I was sure he was going to kiss me. A short gasp escaped my lips and he smelled the breath from my parted lips, "I knew you'd be drinking but _pot_? Seriously?" he sighed in disappointment.

I looked down in shame at first. I couldn't hide the fact that his disappointment upset me. Then I realised that he had no business being upset with me. He wasn't my father, he was the guy who'd ditched me at a party. _I _was allowed to be pissed, not him.

"Are you fucking serious?" I demanded, "Are you _freaking _kidding me?"

He sighed, shaking his head as if I were some misbehaving child he knew and since my mother was nowhere to be seen he was forced to keep an eye on me. Like _I _was a burden to _him_. "Okay, so you're drunk," he squinted to have a better look at me, "And I'm pretty sure you're high. Did you take anything else, Am? I have to know."

I rolled my eyes, "No, I didn't take any LSD or whatever. I'm not an idiot. God! You're unbelievable, Andy. Freaking unbelievable." I turned my back on him and headed back towards the house party. Even though the last thing I wanted to do right now was party or dance, I didn't have any other options. Christina was probably drunk and if she was by any chance sober, there was no way she already wanted to leave. I would probably have to call Silver to give me a ride home.

"Hey, do you have a ride home?" Andy chased after me, "Because I can stay and give you a ride when you want to leave." He offered sounding more like the guy I was falling for. That frustrated me though. What did he want from me? Because these mixed signals were killing me.

"So _now _you care? _Now _you want to take care of me and stuff?" I whirled around to scowl at him. I walked towards him and he stepped back in what I could only describe as fear, "You're driving me crazy Andy! You're killing me!" Okay, maybe I was a little drunk, but I didn't feel it at all. The only reason I suspected it was because my mouth wouldn't stop moving and I just kept saying the things I would never _ever _say out loud normally. "I mean, you're so nice and sweet and adorable but sometime—like now—I just want to strangle you! And I don't understand why you haven't tried anything with me yet! Everyone says you like me but _you _don't show any proof of that being true! What am I supposed to do?" I waited for him to answer.

What _was _I supposed to do? I was lost in this and he wasn't helping me find my way out.

"Amber…I think you drunk and saying things you don't mean." He seemed hesitant and nervous. His face was still in shock, his cheeks blushed. His brown eyes were wide as they stared at me like I was insane. But he was still insanely cute. I couldn't help noticing how adorable he looked when he was surprised.

"Ugh!" I groaned and closed the distance between us. I didn't give myself the chance to wimp out as I grabbed his face and crushed my lips onto his.

His lips we're soft and warm and left my skin tingling. I tangled my fingers in his thick curly hair and tried to drag a response out of him. Anything.

He didn't move.

I pulled away and his face was still the mask of shock.

I thought my heart couldn't break again, but it did. It shattered into a million pieces. My hands were trembling as I pulled them away from him and took a step back to leave a yards space between us. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I wanted a meteor to fall from the sky and hit me in the head.

I'd just kissed Andy.

And Andy didn't care.

Why did I do it? Why did I kiss Andy of all people? Why did I decide that my crush was more important than out friendship? I had a crush on Andy. A meaningless crush. It wasn't like true love or anything. I didn't faint every time we touched. It was just a little thing, a tiny, itsy bitsy thing that wasn't worth a second glance. My chest was aching but that was probably the booze talking.

I was suddenly exhausted.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Andy asked as politely as possible given the circumstances, but I could hear that he was breathless and I wondered if he had his inhaler. I had the right to worry about his asthma if I wanted to.

I didn't reply to that question. I just walked to his dark green car and threw myself in the passenger seat. I swallowed my shame the best I could and tried not to burst into tears. I had to bite down on my trembling lip and focus on my hitched breathing.

Andy went into the driver's seat and I turned my face away and subtly covered it with my hand.

The awkwardness in the car was intense and obvious. The tension of the kiss was everywhere in the small cooped up space. The length of the trip seemed to stretch out in front of us. I couldn't believe this was happening. The only thing I wanted more than to go in a time machine and stop the kiss from ever happening was to get home and away from this situation.

Once we approached my house my heart beat accelerated and I felt skittish to leave. What would happen at school on Monday? Was Andy going to act like none of this happened? Maybe I could pretend that I was so drunk and high out of my mind that I didn't remember any of it.

That could work.

That could definitely work.


	23. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37: The rumour**

**Amber's POV**

I went to school on Monday morning with my day planned out.

I would meet Andy as usual at Silver's car and we'd act like nothing happened. If he brought it up, I had two options. Either I'd act like I had no idea what he was talking about. I'd say that I was super drunk and high and I might have said allot of things that I didn't mean and apologize. Or, I'd confess to everything, I'd tell him that I _did _like him, that I wanted to be more than just friends. I would tell him how much I cared for him and how he made school this amazing place just by existing.

Okay, maybe not that last part, but I might tell him how I felt.

That all depended by how _he _brought it up. If he seemed freaked out in the worst possible way and was just bringing it up to turn me down then there was no way I was admitting to the truth. If he brought it up seeming hopeful though…well, that would change everything.

I shook my head clear. I had to stop thinking about it. The whole situation was stressing me out and it had to stop. I had a crush on a guy who didn't feel the same way about me. That was a non-important teenage problem, it wasn't a real problem. The war in Afghanistan, that was a problem. Silver's kidnapper still being out there, that was a problem. Compared to those things, I was just a whiny bitch.

That wasn't soothing though.

Sigh.

Silver and I got to school. My heart was doing strange things in my chest as I scanned the parking lot for Andy. I kept imagining him not showing up at all. Maybe he thought I was too weird and he didn't want any part of me. Maybe he realized that I was a bad influence with the drinking and the smoking I'd done at the party. In my defence, I was legal drinking age in Canada and I still had a Canadian mentality. Just because I had been living in the states for over seven months that did not mean I was Americanized. I still said please and thank you at restaurants, I still cursed in French when I stubbed my toe and I still ate my eggs with maple syrup.

Just when I started to panic, I saw them. Seth was walking toward our car with a grin and a box of chocolates in his hands. Behind him, Andy was walking in the same direction. He was shyly looking down at the concrete as if he was fascinated by its pretty colours.

"What's the occasion?" I asked Seth after getting out of the car. I eyed the box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates and licked my lips for emphases.

"No occasion." He pulled Silver into his side and brushed his lips against her forehead. "Just wanted her to know that I loved her. That's all." He said, eyes on my sister. They're relationship was so weird sometimes, I could never get used to it. For a few long seconds, they just looked at each other, smiling and without saying a word.

"Noted. I love you too." She said, kissing his lips and snatching the box of chocolate like a hungry racoon. They didn't look back at me as they walked away, the perfect picture of a happy couple. I didn't want to be jealous, I really didn't, but part of me wondered if I'd ever be that happy with someone else. Could I ever find _that_?

I looked at Andy. He was also watching Seth and Silver walk away, giggling and kissing. He looked at me and we both opened our mouths to say something. I just wanted to say 'Hey', maybe ask how his weekend went, but the moment I saw he wanted to speak, I shut my mouth and waited. He did the same.

Usually, I would laugh it off and say what I had to say, but today wasn't the usual. I waited for him to speak and when he didn't, I blushed. I couldn't bare the awkwardness so I started walking. Andy followed. My plan had totally exploded in my face. There was no way I could act like I didn't remember. We both knew what happened Saturday night, the question was, who would be brave enough to bring it up?

Andy and I weren't left alone for the entire first half of the day. I wasn't sure if that was or a good thing or not. When we were left alone, Andy made no effort to talk or even look at me. I wanted to know what he thought about it—the kiss, my feelings, us—but if he wasn't into it, putting it off wasn't that bad. But I didn't know if he wasn't into it, so I just wanted to know.

When lunch came and I still hadn't spoken to Andy, I was getting frustrated. I ate my sandwich ferociously while glaring in Andy's direction. I felt like he was avoiding me at this point and that wasn't cool.

"Woh, Amber, chew a little harder and you'll break something." Gaby's voice pulled me out of my day dreaming. She laughed at my shocked expression.

I sighed, "Sorry."

"Partied too hard on Saturday?"

"Guess so." I mumbled.

"You look kind of bummed." Jenny said, concern thick in her voice, "Is it because people are saying you messed around with Frankie? Because no one really believes that rumour. It should blow off by Wednesday—Friday tops."

"_What_?" I demanded. This was the first time I was hearing about this. So there was a rumour out there saying I'd messed around with Frankie the pot head. Not likely. I looked around the cafeteria to see find Frankie but I had no such luck. I turned and found Andy looking at me. He looked as mad as I was then looked away, cheeks flushed. "Oh, screw this." I grabbed my purse and stalked off to Andy's table.

I stopped behind one of his friends who was facing him and waited for them to notice me. They all turned their heads, slowly, towards me. Andy looked up from his plate of food.

"Hey Amber!" Steve said, not noticing my angry expression. "I didn't see you at the party yesterday."

"I was there." I said, forcing myself to smile, "Do you guys mind if I steal Andy for a minute?"

"Of course not." Steve boomed, pulling me half way onto his lap and shaking me.

"Yeah, do whatever you want with him." Aaron waggled his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes, "Andy?"

"Um, sure." his voice cracked. He scrambled clumsily out of his seat and walked towards me.

I distanced myself from Steve and headed for the exit of the school without looking at Andy. I could hear him following me. The closer we got to the exit, the angrier I got as every second ticked by and he didn't address me or ask me what I wanted. I pulled the door out of my way and stepped outside, Andy on my trail.

It had rained this morning—no surprise there—but it wasn't raining now. The sky was still gray as if it were contemplating whether to pour again or not. Despite the fact that we were approaching spring time, it was still cold and the snow had not melted completely. Goosebumps started rising on my skin but I ignored them.

I spun around to glare at Andy, who still hadn't said a word. He was waiting, hands in his pockets and eyes skimming from my face and away in embarrassment.

"So…your just not talking to me?" I guessed, fighting the tears that were trying to make a surprise appearance. The last thing I wanted was for him to know what power he had over me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He looked away, shrugging his shoulders. Why was he talking to me like I wasn't me anymore? I knew I'd kissed him but I was still me and according to him, I was too drunk to know what I'd been doing. Then I remembered that stupid rumour.

I sighed and shook my head, "I thought you were different Andy. I never thought you'd really buy it."

"I thought you were different too."

"Is this really about Frankie? Really? Are you kidding me?" I demanded, letting my anger surge through me. I raised my voice and took a step closer to him. I had to fight the urge to keep my hands to myself because there was nothing I wanted more than to just knock some sense into him.

"It doesn't matter." He muttered.

"It does so matter." I disagreed, shouting again. I ran my finger through my hair, trying to keep it out of my face. I wanted to pull it out from the roots, I was that frustrated. "I can't believe you're willing to shun me for what I did with Frankie." I bit my tongue for my stupidity. I didn't want it to sound like I'd done something with Frankie. I _so _hadn't done anything with Frankie. But it irritated me that Andy would believe such a thing. Was that really what he thought of me?

"I really don't know what you're talking about." He said in a monotone. Not looking at me as if I'd confirmed all his deepest fears with my words.

"I like you Andy. And I'm not drunk right now."

"That doesn't help, Amber. You say that now but if you felt it Saturday night, you wouldn't have…"

"I didn't!" I screamed, "I didn't do a thing and once I'm done yelling at you, I'm going to punch Frankie in the balls."

Andy's eyes widened and he looked at me for what seemed to be the first time in forever. He looked shocked and couldn't speak because of it. I tried waiting for him to talk but my patience was running thin.

"I like you, Andy. Allot." I said much calmer now. My heart was pounding and I could literally feel my cheeks flushing, "I want us to be more than friends and I think you feel the same way and if you don't…" I let myself trail off because I had no idea what we'd do if he didn't. I'd be royally screwed. I was putting all my eggs in this one basket. I had to look away from his eyes that were entirely too focused on me.

"Amber I…"

I laughed at myself. I felt absolutely ridiculous. I wanted to kick myself, punch myself, and throw myself off a cliff. Did I really think so much of myself that I thought I could get any guy I wanted? That didn't say good things about my character. I knew I was pretty—beautiful even—but how far would that get me in life? I wasn't thinking about career wise, I met socially. Maybe I would never be an outcast because of my looks and sure, I had a personality…but some people wanted brains. Andy would want brains. Andy would want a smart girl who knew everything about everything like him, or at least a girl who would pick up a book every once in a while.

Andy would want someone like Silver.

"Okay, this was a mistake." I nodded to myself after several seconds of Andy's constant silence, "We should both just act like none of this happened." I looked at the floor and commenced the walk of shame.

"Amber, wait!" Andy called.

I didn't want the hope to flash on my face but the second he called me, it was there, on every feature of my face. "Yeah?"

He walked up to me and forced his lips to move, "I've always liked you, Amber. Ever since the beginning and I never told you because you were dating that other guy, then you were hurt and afterwards, well, like I had a chance in hell. I never said anything because I didn't want you to think that our friendship was based on my being in love with you."

I didn't show my shock at his use of words _my being in love with you_, that was a little much but I wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't going to make my discomfort with those little words ruin this moment. He'd said he liked me. That was all that mattered. I smiled.

"I'm so sorry that I believed that stupid Frankie story. I know you're not like that." He apologized, his cheeks reddening.

"It's cool."

"And I'm sorry for giving you the silent treatment." He added.

"Don't worry about it." I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I watched him babble nervously. He was still the cutest thing in the world to me.

"And also—"

"Andy!" I cut him off, giggling, "Not that I don't love this but, um," I felt the heat rise to me cheeks again, "Don't you owe me a kiss?"

Shock again. That expression would never get old. He froze but not for as long as he usually did. He slowly made his way towards me and stopped less than a foot away.

My heart was racing like a jack rabbit and I couldn't hold still. I tried stretching onto my tip toes to reach his lips prematurely but he pulled away slightly. My breathing was getting shallow and I felt light headed. He hadn't even kissed me yet.

His finger sent a shiver down my spine when he touched my chin to bring my face up. My eyes had slid closed a long time ago and now I was doing what I always did with Andy. I waited.

His nose rubbed against mine and his warm breath caressed my lips. This seemed to last forever. It was like heaven.

When his lips touched mine I melted into a puddle. It was like I'd been cold and his lips were a heated blanket. His lips were so soft and gentle as they moved with mine. I'd waited so long for this moment and it was finally here. His hand kept my face secure and my fingers ran up and down his smooth arms.

I don't know how long we stood there kissing but when the bell rang, he started pulling away.

I threw my arms around his neck and held him close. He didn't struggle against my grip. I didn't want this moment to end. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this kind of perfection but I didn't care. Andy was all I could think and feel. Andy was all that mattered. He'd been waiting so long for me and I never saw him, I just saw me and my own personal issues—moping about the move, parties, Embry, food—and all that time, he'd been focusing on me.

**A/N: So close to the end. Like 2 chapters or so. Awesome.**

**Follow me on Twitter btw.**

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	24. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38: Birthday Party.**

**Amber's POV.**

I was Andy's girlfriend. Other than Silver and Seth, Andy and I were the _it _couple. All the attention we got wasn't important to either of us though. It didn't matter that everyone sighed in relief when we announced we were dating, mumbling that it took us long enough. Even my mother wasn't surprised that we'd finally started dating.

Andy was the most caring boyfriend I had ever had. He was so selfless and always put me first, and to make things better, he had a car. Which totally rocked. He was sensitive, caring, everything I thought he'd be and more. We never—which was shocking—had that awkward sex conversation. Andy was way too shy to bring it up—it was hard to believe he wasn't thinking about it—and I wasn't going to be having sex for at least a year. There was nothing there that I wanted to revisit and Andy seemed to get that.

We did argue sometimes, and I was grateful for that. Embry and I had only fought once—the awkward sex fight—in our entire time together. We were always this perfect, flawless couple that looked just as good on the outside as on the inside. Our relationship ended horribly. Maybe relationships needed arguments to stabilize it.

We'd never said the L word to each other. I didn't know if I loved him. I'd only been in love once before but with the way it ended, I couldn't help wondering if it was all a lie. It was also hard to know what was real or not. What I felt for Embry was so gut deep and intense, I was positive we had something special. How could I have been so wrong? I cared for Andy. That I knew. I cared for him so much and I did love him—not _in _love but loved him. There was no way I was letting myself fall in love again. I couldn't bear that again. I would never admit to myself that I was afraid. It was subconscious really. Heart break was like a burn. You touch the stove top even after your mother had warned you that it was hot, and once the tip of your finger brushed the hot metal, you yank away. Reflex. Then never again will you touch that stove top, been there, done that, it was stupid and it hurt like hell.

Again, this didn't cause conflict between us, he was too shy to bring up any of the obvious issues in our relationship. Usually, this would annoy. I couldn't stand shy guys. I liked loud—maybe even obnoxious—guys who looked me in the eye and told me what they thought. Sure, they'd piss me off but I couldn't deny that their confidence was hot as hell.

Andy was nothing like that, he was special.

We lasted the end of the school year. We graduated together. We went to prom together and I was crowned prom queen. Andy wasn't prom king, Steve was. He was very gracious about it. Well, not literally, he shouted and hoorayed as loud as he could, he yelled "in your face bitch" to anyone who was in hearing range, except for Andy whom he said "sorry, man".

Today, I was seated on Andy's bed watching him pack his bags. My shoulders slumped as he walked, back and forth, back and forth. From his drawer to his suitcase that was right next to me. I sighed. I didn't want him to go on vacation. He'd only be gone for a week but still. He was missing my 19th birthday, that's the only reason I was bummed. I wanted to spend my birthday with my friends and my boyfriend.

Silver was having an actual party, a huge barbecue, for her birthday. Silver and I had birthdays days apart. We never asked my mom how she managed to get pregnant 3 months after giving birth. We figured my "father" was persuasive—if raping your wife counted as persuading. Silver and I weren't only born in the same month, but her birthday was 3 days after mine.

It was being held in our backyard on the one day it wasn't supposed to rain. A lot of people were supposed to be coming to our house. Silver's explanation was that the party was for Seth too since his birthday was in late June and hers in early July. Sue would also bring refreshments. Silver wanted the party to be for all three of us but I felt like I'd be imposing on their happy couple party. Seth had joked about it being an engagement party. Silver was eighteen so that joke was believable. My mom had chocked on whatever she'd been drinking.

"I wish you didn't have to go." I said to Andy.

He stopped and smiled sheepishly, "Sorry. It's just for a week." He came over to kiss my lips really fast then proceeded with his packing. He didn't mention the future separation we would have to deal with. I was staying near the family, after what happened with Silver in January, going to CEGEP in Montreal was out of the question. I had been accepted in Peninsula College and Andy had been accepted in Union College in Nebraska. Why he chose to go to a college so far away was beyond me. Neither of us spoke of that either. We tried once, it was too painful.

"Yeah, but, we shouldn't be spending more time away from each other than necessary." I didn't want to sound needy but it was the truth. I would have said the same thing if Christina or Jenney announced they were moving hundreds of miles away.

He sat down on the bed next to me and hugged me into the side. He could feel how sad this made me. Not his vacation, but the move. He was leaving and he was going to be so far away.

I looked up, feeling all the sadness on my face. I didn't want to make him feel bad but I could see it on his face. He felt guilty. I kissed his lips and hugged myself closer to him. His breathing faltered immediately, but I ignored it. He rested his hand at the small of my back and my fingers braided in his curly hair that I loved so much.

We lay down, his lips still smouldering mine. My heart always beat a little bit faster when we kissed like this. We rolled over so I was hovering over him. I let my leg twine with one of his and rested my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat against my palm. Our kiss was slow and passionate, slowly melting us closer to each other.

I pulled away to look at him. He was breathing hard and our stomach's brushed against each other as our lungs let air in and out. I stared into his brown eyes and didn't say a word. My mouth always ruined moments like this. I brushed his cheek with my fingers and grazed his pink lips. "You're so handsome." I said what I was thinking out loud because I knew that it wouldn't ruin the moment.

He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear and stared back, "I love you." He whispered.

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't let my face show any sign of shock. I just leaned forward to kiss him again. I would make him think what he wanted. I pulled away every now and then to just looked at his face, then kiss him again.

Silver's party was only 4 days after Andy had left and I was feeling normal. We didn't see each other every day so the one week separation would be easy. One week was fine, but a month? I didn't know how well that would go. 6 months? I shuddered from the thought.

Silver was breathing oddly in the kitchen. It wasn't that she was hyperventilating, but she seemed pretty close to it. She breathed slowly, trying to fight whatever breakdown was coming. She wrapped her arms around herself as if she was having intense abdominal pains.

"You okay, Sil?" I asked, studying her posture. She was curling into herself, again, as if her stomach was hurting. Maybe I was paranoid, but every time Silver showed any signs of nausea, stomach aches or even heightened sense of smell, I would think she was pregnant. Even now, I knew she was on the pill, it still worried.

"There's so much pressure in parties like this. Everybody expects so much stuff from me. What if the party sucks?" she looked up at me, her cheeks flushed pink and her eyes expectant. She had curled her blond hair and was wearing a white summer dress. She wanted to feel like summer, so she dressed like it.

"Well, it was my birthday yesterday so everyone will think bad things about me if the party sucks." I grinned and pulled her out of her crouched, "You're adorable, everybody will see that." I hugged her and murmured more reassurances. Technically, Silver's birthday wasn't for another two days—July 7th—but they announced rain on that day. It hadn't rained on the Fourth of July—the national Holiday and most importantly, my birthday—but Americans usually planned things for that day. So we held the party today, the second sunniest day of the year.

"Hey Ladies! Woh, did I miss out on something? What's wrong?" Seth's voice went from excitement to confusion and, finally, worry when he saw us. He wrapped his arms around both of us in attempt to soothe Silver who was probably fine the second she'd heard him speak.

"I'm fine." Silver wiggled out, "I just haven't had a birthday party since I turned 12. I'm a bit rusty."

"You'll do great." Seth assured her, "It's all our birthdays! Keep that in mind. The only person who won't be able to take their eyes off you is me." He pressed his lips on her cheek causing her to giggle.

Our back yard started filling up with friends at about five, by seven, there was over sixty people in our yard that were only mildly familiar from school. Sue and my mom were in charge of barbecue, and they had their hands full. Seth had been sent to the store to buy more hot dogs, chicken, steaks, brochettes, drinks, cake, basically anything that was eaten at a barbecue or party. As stressful as it was to host so many people, at least the party didn't suck. At least our guests were having fun.

Chairs were lined in rows in the farther end of the yard so people could sit while they ate. We had a long table with a white table cloth near the two barbecues that was a buffet with everything that was needed. Seth's Quileute friends made several trips to the table which I found rude but no one else seemed to mind. Thank god for Costco.

"Hi Amber," Hunter's voice was familiar to me.

"Hey, Hunter. How are you?" I asked, trying to be polite and a good hostess. I vaguely remembered the days when Hunter flirted with me in hopes for something to happen between us.

"I'm fine. I heard you were accepted at Peninsula College. Congrats." He lifted his plastic cup of punch in a toast gesture.

"Thanks. Yeah. I know it's not a huge IV league school but it's close to home and I'm getting a car in August so…" I nodded.

"Sweet. A car. You could drive me around, now."

"Yeah, that was what I was thinking when my mom suggested a car."

We both laughed. Hunter was fun. I never got to see the rude, obnoxious Hunter Silver had described to me, he was always very mannerly when I was around.

I glanced over Hunter's reason and my eyes widened.

I don't know why. I knew he was coming. It was to be expected. Not to mention I had been forewarned, but it still shocked me. My heart stuttered and my mouth went dry. My blood ran cold for a second and I couldn't speak. I patted Hunter on the shoulder, the only sign I could give of my departure and walked past him.

Mt legs brought me forward without me telling them to—like I was floating. No, that wasn't right. I felt like a zombie. I newly turned zombie. Like I'd been bitten and didn't understand it till I saw a human and felt the urge to eat its brains. No thoughts, just instinct. Or reflex. Why was I playing with fire again? Hadn't I learned?

He turned to face me and no shock was on his face when he saw me there. I didn't make that make me feel special. It wasn't like he had this sixth sense that made him know when I was near, it wasn't like he was waiting for me. This was my house, he'd expected me to be here, just like how I'd expected him to be here, he was Seth's friend.

"Amber, hi," A smile stretched his lips and my heart hammered without me wanting it to. His voice sent my mind jumbling. How long had it been since I'd last heard that voice?

"Hey, Embry." I said coolly and casually, returning his smile, mine brighter. It was because I was the hostess, that's why I was being so smiley and happy, there was no other reason. It wasn't because Embry was here and so close to me I could touch. How many times had I dreamt of having him here? An unimaginable number of times, but I'd never said anything in any of those dreams because I didn't deserve to speak to him. _I _had sent him away that day.

"Amber. Wow, you look great." He seemed to mean it, but I was still dazed. He hadn't changed. He was still tall and slender. His face still had its boyish charm with slight man-like features—like his jaw, his forehead, his lips…

"Same here. With you, I mean…" I bit my lip, trying to think of another topic, I would not let this be awkward. It couldn't be awkward between us.

"I hear you were accepted in—"

"Yes, I was accepted into college. Everyone's so surprised." I laughed, I felt the blood fill my cheeks and smiled harder, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Not surprise, future Dr. Phil, happy. We're proud of you."

"How about you? School? Are you still procrastinating?"

"Hey, I'm not procrastinating; I was accepted in a few colleges in California. I start in September."

I grinned, "I'll believe it when I see it." We laughed again, the tension easing with every passing second, "So…Are you seeing anyone?" I felt better, asking the question didn't make me feel tense. I had hesitated in fear that _he'd_ feel uncomfortable.

"Um, yeah, I am seeing someone. Her name is Laurence. She goes to cosmetic school in L.A. She's here, actually. She's over there with Quil." He pointed at a beautiful, curvy woman that could have passed for 21, with skin the color of rich caramel and black hair with blond high lights. "How about you?" he tilted his head to the side, probably wondering what was up with my face. I just couldn't tell if this Laurence was prettier than me or not, and that frustrated me.

"I am, actually. His name is Andy. He goes to Forks High school. He's actually on a family trip now but, yeah." I shrugged.

He nodded, "How long have you been with him?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Odd question, Em? What's this? 20 questions?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Just trying to make conversation."

I laughed, "Um…we've been together for 4 months, I think. You?"

"That's nice. Laue and I have been going strong since January."

Pang!

Ow. I winced. We'd ended in early January so that made my stomach turn inside out. I knew he hadn't cheated on me—at least, that's what I told myself—but I knew he'd gotten with her just a few weeks, if not days, after leaving me.

"That's….really something." My voice quivered and I swallowed.

"Amber, I—" he reached towards me, a sign of comfort but I flinched away before his could touch me. I didn't want him touching me right now, not after what I'd just heard. I needed a second to think.

"I'm fine." I insisted. "I've been fine. This whole time, I've been really fine." I started balancing from sole to heel, trying to calm the knots in my stomach. I tried absorbing all the information I'd received. Embry had a girlfriend who may or may not have been prettier than me. He'd loved her so much that he had picked up and left everything he ever knew to live in California with her. He'd started dating her in January, and he'd moved to California in that same month. We'd broken up in January so he got over me fast enough to leave and shack up with some girl he'd just met.

This information didn't make my stomach settle but it made me want to ask my question even more. I didn't know if I'd ever get this opportunity again. I took a deep breath, "Why?" I asked. I'd confused him instantly so I tried again, "I…I thought we were happy. We were doing great and then you just left? I'm fine now, but I think I have the right to know why you did that to me. To us."

Embry looked away and sighed. My stomach turned and heaved and I held it to keep from arching forward and groaning in pain. "I never wanted to hurt you, Amber."

"Just answer the question."

He sighed, "I left for her." He looked away from me, to Laurence. She was laughing and speaking to Hunter now, "I couldn't not be with her. I tried. I'd considered it, leaving her and staying with you. It hurt. Losing you hurt too—more than I thought. But I knew I couldn't live without her."

"You left me for her." I nodded. I understood that. I hadn't messed up. I hadn't done anything wrong at all. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It hadn't been the sex, it was never me. There was nothing I could have done. It was her. All her. He loved her more than he loved me. It wasn't me fault.

"I never meant to hurt you." He repeated. His cheeks darkening and his eyes glistening. I'd only seen Embry close to crying once before—our break-up. I wasn't used to witnessing his tear, he'd never shed any in front of me. But I knew his face. I knew it well enough to recognize sadness when I saw it. Part of me wondered if Laurence knew him well enough to know the expressions that would cross his face before they happened.

I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist, "It's okay. I forgive you." I murmured against his chest. I'd never been angry at him. What I really meant was that I forgave me. . I'd held this grudge against myself for so long. I had tortured myself with the thought of how I'd single heartedly destroyed everything all because of a stupid spear of the moment situation. I'd moped for days, ignoring my friends and family—if I hadn't moped, I could've save Silver—and pasted a smile on my face and nagged at myself. But it was never my fault. The weight was lifted off my shoulders and in a strange way, I was free.

I looked up at him and smiled.

It took him a while, but he smiled back. Relieved. "Can I give you something? A gift."

I didn't hide my shock. Sure, it was my birthday, but I hadn't expected any gifts. "Um, sure. But it wasn't necessary."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a satin blue box, about ten centimetres by ten centimetres.

"Kays?" I raised an eyebrow, and took the box, "After the conversation we just had, a diamond ring would be highly—"Once I flipped the box open, I was cut off by my own gasp. "I looked up at him then back down at my gift, waiting for him to pull it away and say he was kidding. It was the most beautiful bracelet I had ever seen. I couldn't tell if it was silver or white gold but I didn't care. Rubies went all around the chain, the clasps had rubies in then and there was a small, silver coloured heart with rubies. It was gorgeous. "Embry, I can't—" I was about to refuse this gift. I couldn't possibly accept this. Not only did it look expensive, but I couldn't accept such a gift from an ex. It was tacky.

"You have to." He cut me off, "I've had it for months and I wanted to give it to you, but I couldn't… And I couldn't imagine giving it to anyone else." He took the bracelet out of its box and clasped it around the wrist of my right hand as if to make it hard for me to remove, "It's yours. Happy birthday."

"I…I'm speechless. I love it. Really."

"I knew you would." He smiled warmly. So warm, I knew that he still cared, because I cared for him. I loved him—not the same way as before, but I did love him and I didn't regret our train wreck of a relationship. "Is it…cool if I call you sometime? You know, we could stay in touch. I'd like to meet this Andy guy. See if he's good enough for you."

"Sure. Definitely. I'd really like if we stayed friends but…let's take it slow."

"Come on, Am, when was the last time I talked you into doing something you didn't want to do. Hey, don't answer that."

We both laughed at the terribly inappropriate joke. I hugged him and inhaled his familiar, musky scent, it hadn't changed. This was turning out to be a really happy birthday.

**A/N: Next is the Epilogue.**

**.com/mrskamilleblack**


	25. Epilogue

**A/N: Okay, yeah, it's still Amber. But this is Amber's story so the Epilogue ends with her. :)**

**Epilogue.**

**Amber's POV**

I had been thinking this through for a long time. As the summer came closer and closer to an end, I realised how important it was that I thought about it. Sure, Andy and I hadn't been talking about it but I had been thinking about it. I wasn't going to wait for things to creep up behind us and catch us by surprise.

My decision was made.

Andy and I lasted the entire summer. My life finally had stability in it. I chilled with Embry without any awkward ex drama; I chilled with Andy without him complaining about my ex and I chilled with my friends. I was enjoying every lasting second of summer. Well, summer wasn't the right word for it since it had to be sunny and warm for it to be _summer_, but school was out, and yes, that counted as summer.

Sadly, summer couldn't last forever. I wished it could. I wished I could hang out with my friends every night, not worry about school, not worry about exams and separations. Especially separations. There was nothing more fun than road trips to California and Seattle with the girls, I didn't want this fun to have to end and have to grow up and be an adult with college so close.

I'd expected the knock at the door but it still made my jump. I set my lap top on the sofa and got up to answer the door.

"Embry!" I squeaked in surprise, the lurching in my chest that I used to get when he was near was mostly, completely gone. Embry was my friend, Andy was my boyfriend, the feelings I felt for them were completely abstract. Embry and I were friends, but I couldn't just _forget _the love and the heartbreak we'd been through together, "What…are you doing here?" I wasn't unhappy to see him…he just wasn't supposed to be here. I looked over his shoulder searching for my intended guest but he was there. I chewed my lip anxiously, the thought of Andy not coming slithered through.

No. He had to come. He always came. Andy would never set me up. He would have called first. I tried focusing on the thought that Andy was definitely coming. It didn't calm me.

"Yeah, I dropped by last night with Laurence. School starts in a week—boo to that—and we figured we'd say hi…or more like bye since school is starting." He babbled on and on.

I kept looking over his shoulder, stretching onto my tip toes to see past his humongous head. "Uh-huh. She didn't come with you?" I asked, pretending that I was looking for Laurence, his girlfriend that he may or may not have cheated on me with. I seriously rather not know. I didn't want the perfect relationship we had to be tainted by something as terrible as adultery.

"No, um, she wanted to see Emily and company. Figured I'd drop by…" he squirmed past me and into my house. I tried grabbing his arm and hauling him outside but he never noticed when I was trying to get him out. "Do you have plans?" he looked at me. I was fully dressed but it wasn't anything special, some skinnies and tank top. An average outfit.

"Yeah, actually, Andy should be coming over." I nodded, hoping he'd get the hint and leave.

"Oh," he shrugged and strode to the kitchen and started getting a glass from the cupboard.

I glared at him expecting him to be able to read the frustration in my faces like he used to when we were dating. But he was completely clueless—and adorable—when he sat in a chair, looked up and said, "What?"

"Um…look, Embry, you know I love when you come over but, um, I kind of have to be with Andy…._Alone_." I wasn't planning on adding the 'alone' part but it seemed when he didn't get up apologizing, blushing and getting the hell out.

"Oh!" he nodded in recognition, "You want me to _leave_." He chortled, "What are you hiding from me, Am?"

I rolled my eyes, "What? Nothing. I'm just trying to get you out so Andy and I could have some privacy."

"Privacy?" he narrowed his eyes, "Oh! _Privacy_." He nodded stiffly, probably making his own assumptions in his head. His jaw tightened and he continued frowning. Part of me wanted to yell at him and tell him it wasn't what he was thinking, but I wasn't sure what he was thinking so I didn't want to bring anything up if it wasn't necessary.

I felt my own cheeks get warm as Embry stayed planted in one of my chairs, scrutinizing the rim of his glass of water with a ridiculous amount of focus. The silence was sickening and awkward. I hated moments like these and I always tried avoiding them with Embry and now, here we were, both blushing like tomatoes.

"Please go." I groaned.

"Too late. He's here." He hoped out of the chair and started towards the door.

"No!" I shouted and ran past him to the door. I opened it and Andy was there, pale and adorable and confused. He was still so cute to me. I didn't have to remind myself why I was doing this. I looked at his face—at his handsome, soft, innocent face—and I knew I was right. "Hey." I smiled and let him in.

He was smiling till his eyes rested on Embry, then we could slowly see the corners of his mouth turning down, "Uh…Embry…hi." He said nodding, trying not to keep direct eye contact. Andy had once told that Embry was a _scary guy_. I would never understand it. Sure, Embry was tall and huge and looked six years over his actual age but he was a goon. He was a big kid, not a scary man.

"Hi." Embry nodded, not looking at Andy either. He was clearly deep in thought and maybe upset about something but he just let it pass for his usual remoteness with Andy. "So, Nebraska, that's _far—_"

I cut him off before he could make Andy feel bad for his school choice. Embry thought it was wrong for him to have even applied there in the first place but he wasn't the one who should be judging. His school was in freaking L.A. "_Okay. _That was fun, bye Embry." I kicked him out of the house and locked the door behind him. I glanced at Andy and smiled, "I'm sorry about—"

"It's cool." He smiled back, bright and happy to see me, as always.

My heart squeezed and I started feeling tugs and pulls in the opposite direction—pulling me away from my plans—I knew I had to this. I _had _to. "Yeah, um, Andy…let's sit." I suggested. He followed behind me and sat at the head of the table, "Are you thirsty?" I asked.

He laughed, "I'm good. Thanks."

I nodded and hesitantly sat at the chair next to him. I rested my hand on the table and tapped my foot as I thought.

Andy took my hand and after a brief hesitation, I grasped it and squeezed.

"Nebraska…that's _far._" I repeated what Embry had said just before I kicked him out. "And school starts in less than two weeks…you're leaving soon." I don't know why I was stating the obvious. Maybe I was trying to replay my excuses to myself so I wouldn't chicken out. Nebraska was far, school was starting soon, he would be leaving me, those were all valid reasons.

"Yeah." He nodded bitterly.

"We have to talk about it, Andy."

He sighed.

"We have to—"

"I've been thinking about it…"

I leaned forward, eager to hear his idea. Andy was smart, a million times smarter than me; I knew that whatever idea he had, it was a million times better than mine.

"It won't be that bad." He continued, "I'll be gone, yeah, but I'll be back for the Holydays!" he face lit up, "But I'll be gone after…but I'll be back during Easter and Spring break and maybe even Thanksgivings."

I shook my head. I'd thought of that, of course I had. A few months off, a few days, maybe weeks, on. That wasn't what I wanted, "Andy…that's not a relationship." I sighed.

He didn't say anything. I'd shot his idea straight to hell and now he didn't know what to say or do. I knew what I had to say but a huge part of me didn't want it. I forced my tongue to move and form words.

"I've thought of it, too." I said, his face lit up and he leaned forward to listen, like I had. He was hopeful for a better idea, and I had one. My idea was better. It was smarter. "Long distance relationships, Andy, they don't work." He waited. Wait for me to say 'but'. It never came. There was no but. Long distance relationships never worked. Period. They never ended well. Long distance was the perfect way to end any relationship.

His face was like watching a glacier melt from something huge, amazing and colourful to something small and disappointing. His bright smile faded and faded until it was just plain comprehension and sadness. It was like the smile hadn't been there in the first place."Amber." He whispered when he caught onto what I was saying. "Amber…don't—"

"It's not going to work, Andy. This is best, for both of us." I took a deep breath, "I think we should break up." I felt a twinge of pain in my stomach when I said the words out loud for the first time and I ignored it. This was best. This was smart.

Andy didn't move. He just sat there, looking at me with those pitiful brown eyes. I saw all the innocence of a child in his eyes and I had to fight not to look away. He deserved me to look and pay attention. So I did. My heart throbbed and my stomach clenched.

This was harder than I'd thought. I'd broken up with guys before but it had never been like this. For me, it was like ripping of a band-aid. Once of those cloth-like band-aids with the sticky stuff. They hurt so badly when you took them off but, of course, quick and kind of painless. But sometime, I would miss some of the glue and I'd have to grid my teeth against the irritating pain of rubbing it off, but it was nothing like this. And the guys, they were always more pissed than anything else.

"Andy, say something." I pleaded, squeezing his hand.

He slowly started pulling away and I felt the first pang of pain, "You..you don't want this." He shook his head, ever so slightly.

"This isn't about what I want." I replied honestly, "I don't want a long-distance relationship and I don't want to lose you. I don't want any of these things but…this is what's best for both of us."

He shook his head, incredibility taking over some of the sadness, "I can't believe you're doing this to us."

I sighed, "Andy, let's be honest. It's not like I'm the _one _for you. And if you feel that way, it's not like we're going to get married. It's not like we're going to be together forever. We were going to end eventually."

He shook his head, "I'm not going to hurt you."

I frowned in confusion.

"You can't live like this, Amber, in fear that every guy you date is going to hurt you like he did. You can't end every good relationship out of fear—"

"I'm not afraid of anything." I cut him off, "I want us to have a happy College experience which won't be easy if we're tied down by a relationship that's doomed to fail. I want you to date college girls and I'll date college boys and go to parties. This is for _us. _I'm doing this for _us_!" My voice cracked as tears threatened to come. I didn't expect him to be happy that I was doing this but he was supposed to see that this was me being more selfless than selfish.

His frown deepened and there was anger now. He took soothing breaths and calmed down. Then his face softened. So soft, I couldn't remember the anger that had been printed on it just seconds ago. "I understand, Amber. I'm not going to fight you on this." He let go of my hands and started towards the door.

My heart accelerated as I watched him go towards the door.

I got up from my seat noisily and grabbed his hand and pulled so he could look at me. His expression was blank, "I love you." I whispered. I didn't expect my emotions to be so strong at this moment but I had to tell him. When we ended, I needed him to know that he meant the world to me. I hadn't thought of how I wanted the first time I told him I loved him to be, but this was me, telling him that I loved him.

His lips twitched into a smile but it didn't reach his eye. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my lips. I melted in his arms and kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt the thudding of his heart against my chest. I could taste my tears in our kiss but neither of us pulled away. He hugged me tighter and broke our kiss several minutes later. We were both breathless, our cheeks flushed.

He leaned towards me and kissed my cheek, "Goodbye. I love you." He murmured before kissing my forehead and leaving.

I clenched my hands into fist and started to sob. I didn't fight any of it. I knew it was better this way. I had to get it all out of my system. I'd lived through this before. I would survive, I knew that much. This wasn't as bad. I knew this was best for both of us. It really was.

Andy would thank me someday.

We'd said goodbye but it was only goodbye for now. When we'd both grieved and gotten over this, we'd meet again. I found comfort in that. We'd be like how Embry and I were now. He'd come to me with a steady girlfriend and present her to me.

I didn't cry for as long as I had with Embry. There was nothing I wanted to do more right now than call Andy so he could console me. I faintly wondered who I'd lean on when I needed comforting but shoved that away. I couldn't think about the future. I wiped away my tear and took a hot shower. The shower helped my body relax but it also activated my tears ducts.

Once I was warm and clean, I lay in bed, lights on, laptop near, and thought.

Had it really been a year? I'd been in Forks for only a year? It felt like a decade had passed. I felt older and wiser in some ways, younger and more naïve in others. I had changed so much. Maybe I would never be exactly how I was before, maybe last year I was happier, gittier and more energetic, but I didn't want to go back. Yes, the times were happier then. In Quebec, I had no boyfriend—well, Keegan but whatever—I had a whole heart and no tragic memories. But I was dying to figure out who I'd become after everything I'd gone through. I would have a hell of a character.

As much as I tried to fight back, the pain still throbbed in my chest and I still wanted to cry. I took a deep breath and did what I probably should have done months ago. Maybe if I'd done this when Embry dumped me things would have been different, I didn't know.

I picked up the phone and called Silver.

"Hey, Amber?" she answered.

My throat closed up immediately but I managed to speak, "Sil…Andy and I broke up, can you come home?"

There was a short silence, "Of course! I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Thanks." I hung up and started to sob again.

I was growing. I had to learn to depend on people who weren't leaving. Silver was who I should have depended on instead of Andy. Of course, there was no going back and I wouldn't if I could. Maybe this was all Embry's fault. Maybe he'd caused a domino style series of unfortunate events in my life. I wasn't going to let myself get crushed again. Sure, Andy wasn't only some boy I had a crush on, and he wouldn't be the last. I'd go to college, focus on school, date some cute college boys and try not to get in to deep.

I sighed.

I really had loved those boys.

**A/N: I'm super sad that I'm done :( Follow me on Twitter: .com/mrskamilleblack and subscribe to me as an author to keep in touch with any new project I might have. I'm writing some stuff (like a She Wolf sequel, a Silver bullet sequel…) but I'm sorta tired. We'll see….**


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